Housework can be exhausting, especially when cleaning up after hosting guests. Holly, a Bright Side reader, feels overwhelmed after her in-laws’ Sunday visits, with little support from her husband. She’s seeking advice on how to handle the situation.
The in laws are family. You never ask family to pay for the lunch or help clean up.
I would not have said anything to anyone.
You can think anything you want about the situation, but you do speak it.
It's rude to ask guests in your home to contribute. They should offer but you don't ask.
By the way, your husband is wrong about it being their house too. They may have contributed, but that is not acceptable to think it is their house as well.
Thank you for sharing your story, Holly! We’ve got some tips ready for you that we hope you’ll find helpful.
Have a calm and honest chat with your husband and his family. Share how you feel about the situation and the stress it causes you after their visits. Recognize their past support in buying the house, but stress that the current concern is about maintaining its cleanliness.
Clearly state what you need from them, whether it’s pitching in with cleaning, bringing dishes, or even chipping in for cleaning services
Another alternative, is to reduce the quality of the food, no one want to eat tasteless food eh ;)
How about suggesting a rotation system where different family members alternate hosting Sunday lunches? This way, everyone shares the responsibility of cleaning and hosting duties, preventing anyone from feeling overburdened or exploited.
Propose that each host ensures their home is clean before and after the gathering, promoting a sense of shared responsibility and fairness within the family.
If talking directly with your husband and his family is tough, think about getting help from an outsider like a mediator or counselor. They can guide positive conversations and help find solutions everyone agrees on.
Talking to a professional can also give you advice on managing family dynamics and solving conflicts well.
Make sure to take care of yourself by practicing self-care. Understand that you have the right to set boundaries in your own home, regardless of family pressures.
Try to schedule regular activities for yourself, like a nice bath, a walk, or doing something you enjoy. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s important for your well-being and happiness.
Navigating relationships with in-laws can be tricky. Nadine, a fellow reader, faced a dilemma when her in-laws invited the entire family to dinner but left out her kids. You can find her story in detail here.
Suggest everyone bring something or rotate houses. This is a tough one and can definitely put a strain on the marriage as you are being used. Or totally cut back on the food, have something they don't like, lol!
