I Excluded My Daughter and Grandson From Christmas at Home After She Refused to Do Me a Favor
Psychologists have disclosed that, on average, children tend to stop believing in Santa around the age of 7 or 8. To minimize potential negative emotions when the truth is revealed, parents may find it beneficial to be aware of this typical timeframe. Today’s heroine decided to prolong this “deadline” and even excluded some of her relatives from her Christmas celebration so they wouldn’t reveal the truth about Santa to her kids.
A woman explained why she didn’t invite her eldest daughter to the celebration.
I, a 43-year-old female, have children with significant age gaps. My oldest, age 25, is from a previous relationship in high school. After a separation, I later married my husband. My younger 2, ages 9 and 7, still believe in Santa, while my daughter’s son, who doesn’t share the same belief, was raised without the magic of Santa. I respect her choice, but I prefer not to spoil the Santa belief for my younger children who still embrace it.
I hosted Christmas at my house and asked my daughter to speak with her son about not revealing the truth about Santa, as I wanted to preserve the magic for my younger children. We still have presents labeled “from Santa” and leave out cookies and birdseed as reindeer treats. However, my daughter refused to ask her son to keep up the pretense, asserting that my children were old enough to understand if he disclosed anything.
When I suggested that if she didn’t talk to her son, they could celebrate Christmas at their own apartment, my daughter felt hurt. She accused me of prioritizing my younger children’s happiness over hers and being unreasonable. While my husband supports me, he thinks I might be overreacting since our children are growing up. My intention is simply to maintain the wonder of Christmas for as long as possible.
Opinions are divided.
Some people believed the woman shouldn’t have cut her eldest daughter over her kids’ beliefs:
- Christmas magic includes asking a 5-year-old to lie, and if he doesn’t, he and his mother will be isolated for the holiday, maybe estranging yourself from your daughter? jennajooniper / Reddit
- Could you explain to your children that not everyone believes in Santa, and that’s okay? I empathize with wanting to give your children the happiest holiday memories and feeling unhappy when wrenches get thrown into those plans, but it seems like there should be creative solutions here that don’t make other members of your family feel unwelcome. ChupaChupnana / Reddit
- You need to keep the Christmas magic alive by your definition, but that does not negate that another part of Christmas magic is about family. Your willingness to shun your daughter and grandchild over Santa speaks volumes about you and what you think is important in life. CrocanoirZA / Reddit
Some, however, understood the woman didn’t want to do something wrong:
- I worked with a woman who raised her kids with no Santa. She knew that other kids did believe and she prepared for it. Her kids were taught that everyone has different things they believe in and that everyone should be able to do just that. They were never to say anything about “no Santa” to another child. Other kids believing in Santa was okay. Your daughter chose to raise her son with her beliefs, she needs to allow others to raise their children with their own beliefs. It’s not lying to say nothing and let others believe. It’s not lying to simply say nothing. bflamingo63 / Reddit
- I would want to keep my children’s belief in Santa alive, especially at those ages...and it sounds kind of like your daughter is almost encouraging bursting the bubble. Nothing wrong with having a discussion with her kid like you would with an older child who finds out — not to ruin the fun for others. kelsoste / Reddit
- Christmas magic is awesome! I love the ability to believe that children have Santa Claus, fairies, the Easter Bunny, etc., it’s all in good fun. I wish I could go back and believe that these mythical magical beings existed. People are delirious if they pretend that their parents telling them Santa exists was the biggest betrayal they have ever experienced. Ridiculous. Street_Passage_1151 / Reddit
Choosing the perfect Christmas gift for a loved one can be challenging, but it’s the sentiment that counts. However, one woman found herself unable to please her daughter-in-law despite several attempts. After numerous failed efforts, the mother-in-law decided she had had enough.