I Found Out That My Husband Cheated on Me and Wants To Adopt His Affair Child

Attempting to salvage a marriage after an affair, particularly when there’s a child involved in the affair, is an extremely tough ordeal that involves making life-altering decisions. On Reddit, a user sought advice on her predicament where she adamantly refused to have any connection with her husband’s child from his affair.

After nine years of marriage, my husband and I discovered in 2021 that he was being sued for child support. This bombshell stemmed from an affair he had shortly after we got married, almost leading to the end of our relationship. However, we opted for counseling and agreed to certain terms for me to stay in the marriage.

One of these terms was that my husband would take on a second job to cover his child support payments without affecting our household budget. Additionally, I made it clear that I had no intention of having any relationship with the child resulting from his affair. Over the past few years, my husband has been getting to know his child, but recently, he informed me of some “baby mama drama.”

It turns out that his affair partner is set to self-surrender in May for an 8-month incarceration. My husband felt the need to take custody of the child during this time to prevent them from going to live with their grandparents on the opposite coast. The child, who is attached to their current surroundings, does not want to change schools or be far away from their friends, dad, and mom (who will be incarcerated locally).

Upon hearing this news, I left the house and returned with an apartment guide for our area, indicating my stance on the situation. My husband questioned if I was serious, to which I affirmed that my feelings remained unchanged from three years ago. Despite his plea that the circumstances were exceptional, I reiterated that I had no interest in caring for his child and offered an amicable divorce if he chose to take custody.

I made it clear that I stood firm in my decision and that I would not be responsible for someone else’s child.

Most online users expressed their belief that this marriage isn’t working.

• Waiting to see what the “men should not raise another man’s child” brigade has to say about this. MaleficentCoconut458
• Some people even saw a parallel in the way men treat women with children from other partners. She’s handling this the same way a man would. “Not raising a kid that isn’t mine.” Y’all cheer on men who want paternity tests for no reason, too. purple_proze
• The child will always be there. Seems like you should cut your losses and move on from this relationship. Sad, but you will probably be happier in the long run. ms_eleventy
• Major-Distance4270 said, “This marriage should have ended years ago.” To which VerbalGuinea answered, “The counselor is too good at his job.”

Many were surprised that the woman was still with her husband.

• This poor kid. I hope Dad steps up and is there for them. The author, this isn’t what you wanted for your life and relationship, and that’s fair. You and your husband are on different paths. This is his responsibility and I think it’s reasonable you asked him to move out and take care of his responsibilities alone. I don’t think your marriage is going to work out. Kazbaha
• No judgment, but this is the result of you staying with him after the affair. There’s no way a child’s existence can’t complicate your life. Kids aren’t a side hobby. Period.
  The fact that the therapist allowed the fairy tale notion to exist is wild. Divorce is the best option for everyone, including your husband but especially you. But the child’s best interest needs to be prioritized also. People complain that people say break up to everything, but they fail to realize that this kind of stuff is toxic. Newdaytoday1215
• Why are you still with him? In no way do I think it’s your responsibility to raise this child. But it is his responsibility. And this poor kid didn’t ask for any of it. The whole situation would be happier and healthier if y’all just split up. Effective-Help4293

Some individuals grapple with the repercussions of infidelity, but there are surprising exceptions. Another woman shared that she would actually be relieved to discover her husband was cheating. To understand what prompted her to feel this way, read the entire story.