I Refuse to Let My Husband Do a Sanitary Job—His Excuse Left Me Stunned

One reader shared a heartfelt story about love, fear, and frustration. With a baby on the way and two stepkids to care for, 32-year-old Emily thought her husband’s new job offer would finally bring their family the financial security they’d been working so hard for, until he turned it down out of fear.

Emily’s letter:

Hey Bright Side,

I’m Emily, 32, and currently 7 months pregnant with my first baby. My husband, Mark, is 35 and has two kids from his previous marriage (Lily, who’s 10, and Ethan, who’s 8). We live in a small rental apartment, and between rent, school expenses, and preparing for our new baby girl, things are tight.

Mark works as a sanitary worker, and even though he’s dedicated and never complains, the pay just isn’t enough for a family of five. I’ve been working full-time as an office assistant, trying to save a little before my maternity leave starts.

A few months ago, I asked Mark to start looking for a better-paying job. I wanted him to aim higher (for us, and for the baby). To my surprise, he actually applied for a Recycling Supervisor position at a nearby plant. It offered better pay, health insurance, and room to grow. After two interviews, they called to offer him the job! I was so proud and relieved, I thought, “Finally, we’re catching a break.”

But then Mark told me he turned it down. He said, “It just didn’t feel right. I don’t think it’s a good fit.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. When I asked why, he admitted he was scared, scared of failing, scared of not being good enough for the role.

I tried to stay calm, but ugh, I just couldn’t. We’re about to bring a baby into this world, and instead of stepping up, he chose comfort over progress. I love him deeply, but I can’t stop feeling disappointed.

Am I being unfair for expecting more from him? Or was he wrong for not even trying?

— Emily

Thank you, Emily, for opening up and sharing your story with us. Your honesty will resonate with so many readers who’ve faced similar struggles: balancing love, fear, and the pressure to keep their families secure.

Fear can hold good people back.

It might be best to remember that fear often hides behind phrases like “It’s not the right fit.” Mark isn’t being careless, he’s scared. But growth rarely feels comfortable at first. You’re both trying to protect your family, just in different ways: you with determination, him with hesitation.

It might help to remind him that courage doesn’t mean not being afraid: it means moving forward even when you are.

Honest communication can bridge the gap.

Instead of focusing on what he didn’t do, try to understand why he didn’t do it. Maybe he’s struggling with self-confidence or feels pressure to live up to expectations. Let him know you’re not angry at him: you’re worried about the future.

It might be best to sit down together and talk as teammates. You could say, “I know this feels scary, but I believe in you. We’ll figure this out together.” Sometimes, reassurance is stronger than frustration.

Comfort zones don’t build security.

You’re absolutely right to feel anxious. Soon, you’ll have a newborn, and expenses will keep growing. Mark may see his old job as “safe,” but in reality, staying still can be riskier than taking a step forward.

It might be best to show him the numbers (baby costs, bills, and savings goals). Sometimes, seeing the reality on paper helps people understand what’s truly at stake.

You both deserve to dream bigger, together.

You’re not wrong for wanting more, Emily. You’re preparing for a whole new chapter while still holding your family together, that’s not selfish; that’s strength. It might be best to remind Mark that this isn’t about blame, it’s about building a future side by side. Say, “I don’t want you to change for me, I want us to grow together.”

Once he feels supported, he might find the confidence to take that leap next time. Because love isn’t about playing it safe: it’s about believing that together, you can do better than “just enough.”