I have rethought my previous comment. Let me take a wild guess. You were the executor for your brother’s estate, weren’t you? You are in serious trouble. You signed documents that spelled out your responsibilities, one of which was to settle all of your brother’s debts and other obligations before any payment was to be made to named beneficiaries. Well, providing child support for that minor child was one of those obligations. He could not exclude her from inheritance even if he wanted to. Whether you knew that or not, you failed to exercise your responsibility as executor. You (or whoever was executor) are certainly civilly and likely criminally liable. If you want to avoid criminal penalties you had better be the first one to make a move to straighten this out.
I Refuse to Pay for My Niece’s College, Even Though I Got Her Late Dad’s Inheritance

I never imagined I would be in this twisted situation where my own family treats me like the villain. I thought I had a decent relationship with my niece, and I always tried to be supportive in ways that felt reasonable. But recently, things took a turn that I did not see coming. Not only is my niece ungrateful for things I’ve done for her, but she’s making me regret them.
Hi Bright Side readers!
Please, read my story before you judge. When my niece was only three years old, my brother died in a horrible accident. Our whole family fell apart for a while. He was a young single dad, and no one expected something like that to happen.
It turned out that in his will, he left all his money to me. He trusted me, obviously, and he made that choice on his own.

I showered his daughter with love, but I was not her parent. She was adopted. I put her over myself and my life multiple times and helped where I could, showed up for important moments, bought her things here and there, gave her birthday presents, and tried to be someone she could always rely on emotionally.
For years, there was never any mention of the inheritance. Not once. In fact, as she grew up, she became more distant.
Fast-forward to recently. She is nineteen now and getting ready for college. Out of nowhere, she called me. No warning, no warm up, no conversation.
She went straight into it. Her exact words were, “Send me dad’s money. I need it for college.” It felt like she was demanding something that I stole from her.
I told her the truth. The money was mine. Her father left it to me, not to her. He never said it was meant to be a college fund or a savings plan for my niece. He left it directly to me. I was firm but not rude.
I said I could not give her the inheritance as I need the funds for my own son’s education and I feel as if I’ve given more than enough to her already. She immediately hung up. No goodbye, no discussion, nothing.
Two days later, things got worse. I found out she had told several extended family members and close friends that I was stealing her father’s money “wrongfully” and refusing to pay for her future. She made it sound like I was hoarding something that legally belonged to her and that I had been secretly sitting on it while she struggled.
People started messaging me, calling me selfish and heartless. Some even hinted that I should be ashamed for using “her dad’s money” on myself or just be “understanding, kind” and do what my brother “would’ve wanted”. MY brother left his money to ME.

It would be a good idea for you to speak with an attorney. Not sure how your brother's will was worded. You say your niece was adopted; not sure what happened with her bio mother. If your brother flat out left the money to you without stipulations on how it was to be used, then it's yours and what you do with it is your business based on your values and needs.
The money is yours, your niece was rude, etc. But consider this- your brother was a young man who probably didn't expect to die so young. It is quite likely he hadn't thought to make provisions for his daughter because he assumed he'd be there. Yeah, you bought her stuff, but you say there's been distance for years, so did you spend ALL the money on stuff for her? Also, it's callous to say you need it for YOUR child's education, but not the child of the man who provided the funds. Again, your niece sounds entitled, but I think that may be hurt feelings. Yes, the money is legally yours and you're hurt by her behavior. But morally, you should do something to help her. And I think deep down you know that. At the end of the day, when you get over the hurt feelings, will your conscience be at peace?
I also never signed up to be her financial backup plan. I never agreed to pay her tuition. What hurt most was her reaction.
If she had come to me politely, talked to me like a human, asked for help or advice, I might have tried to support her in smaller ways. But demanding money and acting like it was owed to her made things feel completely different. It turned everything into a transaction.
My niece still refuses to talk to me directly. She only communicates through vague posts and messages sent through other people. I keep thinking about that moment she hung up on me. It stings more than the money ever could, and I think our relationship is beyond repair at this point.
Sometimes doing the right thing for yourself makes you look like the bad guy. I can live with that. But I do wonder. Am I really in the wrong here, or are people just picking sides without thinking logically?
In our previous letter, a man shared how he suffered terrible consequences after he refused to do a pregnant coworker’s work for free. Read the full story: I Refuse to Cover My Pregnant Coworker for Free, Now HR Is Involved
Comments
Maybe try sitting down with her and tell her you'll help her with some of it but she needs to provide some help herself. Since your brother didn't specify what he wanted you to do with the money it's really your decision. Tell her you'll help with some money but she needs to help also. Remind her he left it to you and you'll help but she needs to also help herself too. Hopefully yall can work this out peacefully. Best of luck to you.
You should have put it in a trust. It wasn't yours and your lucky the girl doesn't get an attorney because she is the legally entitled to it. He adopted her that makes her the legal next of kin. And why is it OK for you to use it for your son and not her just show a darker side of you... shame on you.
Unless the brother’s will was made after the birth of his daughter and specifically mentioned and excluded her, she was clearly entitled to some or even all of his estate. The statute of limitations for civil redress did not start running until she came of age. She needs a lawyer.
This money is not yours, you should return the money to its owner your niece
I have been on brightside for 6 yrs, never logged in. But when I read this one, I just had to. You are morally suspect. How can you even think of using your brother's money for your kid, but not his kid?
If you can not understand this, then you are not the person that your poor brother thought you would be.
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