This is not to sound harsh, but I want to ensure I've read everything correctly. Your daughter is 28, and you are 68, which means you waited until 40 years of age to give her life, rather than let that ship sail and be child-free. You are now over retirement age, while she is still a young woman in her 20s with a child, and you feel she is being selfish? I'm not here to judge, but having a child at 40 with no other family connections or siblings for her insight is very selfish. You are her mother, and that comes with attachments to the life you created, as well as your grandchild. You had to have known that by the time she had a kid or chose to have one, you would either be deceased or too old to help in any way. 68 is old. You want to retire at a time when the world is collapsing and falling inward. Life happens, I get it. My daughter will be 28 this year, but I (not of my planning) had her at 16. Which means I'm in my early to mid-40s. She has a son who will be 3 this year. Some ships, when they've been in the water for a while, need to dock and not take any more passengers out to sea. I believe that you are upset because you made the choice at 40 (old enough to know better) to have a kid, not thinking about creating a family and what would happen when she created her own family. The problem is not the baby daddy not in sight, it's that you are leaving the child you had alone with a child, at a time when most families step in with support and help. The baby daddy didn't have her; you did, and at 40. You weren't some mindless teen who didn't know what was going on, or in your 20s, just living. You were a whole past middle-aged woman. At the end of the day, the choice is yours.
I Absolutely Refuse to Delay My Retirement to Save My Spoiled Daughter and Her Son

We got a letter from Marge, 68, who spent decades working, raising her daughter alone, and helping her grandson. Now that she’s ready for peace, her daughter’s tantrums and ultimatums turn her life upside down. Read Marge’s story, she needs your thoughts and advice.
Here’s a letter Marge wrote to us:
Hi Bright Side,
I’m Marge, 68, retiring after 46 years of work. Finally, I can relax, garden, maybe try dancing, without being called back to cover someone else’s responsibilities. But there’s my daughter, Emily, 28. Single, a “beauty influencer” whose vlog makes nothing, with a 3-year-old son. Sweet kid, loved, but Emily doesn’t even know who the father is. When he was born, she cried in my arms, promising to change. She didn’t. Instead of daycare, I’ve been the fallback. Instead of basic needs, she buys makeup; instead of parenting, she posts hashtags. I’ve been paying for everything: rent, groceries, kid’s nutrition, therapy, toys, Internet, until last month, when I said: “I’m done. I’m retiring.”
She called me and begged to keep working, accused me of abandoning her and ruining three lives: hers, the baby’s, and her “career”. I said no. Then came the meltdown: “Prepare for the worst, mom!”

Please tell me you're joking. Her daughter is a full adult, not a child. Grandparents typically are in their 60s, not in their 40s. And at some point we all deserve to retire and enjoy life. She has gone way above and beyond in providing for her daughter up to age 28. Time for her to put her big girl pants on now and be an adult! Her daughter is a whole parent now.
Totally agree. Get a regular job if she has any skills and child support payments. Mom need to have her own life and not work to support daughter. You can help but daughter wants too much.
Yep. Enjoy your retirement. Daughter needs to get a reliable job to support her child. She doesn't know who the baby daddy is?! Well that's not very responsible of her. Time to grow the heck up. Don't enable her. She's an adult. Time for her to figure out how to act like one.
Do not agree. To help when and how she can but not to keep working. At what time will daughter stop asking for money??
Your comment is ridiculous. It's not unreasonable to expect a 28 year old to at least try to be self reliant. To say OP should continue to work so the daughter can what buy more makeup and dodge her responsibilities sounds ignorant.
I agree !!
WTH is wrong with you? Are you living off mom too? Are you in your twenties? That has to be it otherwise you wouldn't be saying 40 and 68 is OLD! I can't wait until you get old! There are a multitude of reasons women have babies at 40. She may have been trying for years and finally got pregnant! You have no right to judge someone about how old they are when they have kids! Her 'kid' is full grown ass adult at 28! She made the decision to spread those legs and she now has the responsibility to take care of and raise that baby not her mom! Good for mom for retiring. It is past time her 28 year old ADULT child act like an adult, get a real job and raise her own child!
jupiter, you must be best friends with the daughter as you bothhave the same skewed attitude...this woman DOES NOT owe her 28 year old daughter a living and an income, she should be earning those things herself...if anything, this mother has coddled her daughter for way too long...why isn't the baby ddadddy paying child support? daughter was 24/25 when she had her son,,,and the things you apply to the mother about being a grown woman who should have thought about what it means to bring a child into the world--why doesn't that apply to this selfish daughter as well? you tar the mothr with your condemnation but don't tar the daughter for the same things you charge the mother with...mother should retire and let her daughter start to take responsibility for her own life and livelihood.
Tell your daughter to grow up. You're not her nanny. Tough love.
Are you OPs daughter? Or are you a grown ass adult who is still living off their parents?
You're full of crap!
Why you focus on granny's age when having a child??? Are you making stupid comment or just full ignorance?? A woman can't choose when their body ready for pregnancy or not. It happened like the daughter's fooling around with some men and get the baby. The highlight things here are, the granny's is old, she tired, and need a break already for her due age. While the daughter?? Living a life like she responsible nothing, caring her face too much and keep drowning on her selebgram attempt failure. She's undoubtly leeching her mother's money and work, but I guess since she pretty you overlook that right? Perhaps you used with pretty woman can life with everyone's money like it theirs. Now you said it, I bet the granny if she read your comment and can turn back the time, she would rather terminate the pregnancy. As if that failure of daughter bring any proud achievement.
What planet are you from? Most families don't STEP UP, they help where they can. They DO NOT sacrifice everything, as this woman is being asked to do. This HARD WORKING woman had her child later in life, that is all. She didn't ask anyone else to help her raise her child. Her daughter is lazy and expects her mother to keep footing the bills. Just like her mother, this girl CHOSE to have a child. It is NOT HER MOTHER'S RESPONSIBILITY. The daughter is not only THE ONLY ONE BEING SELFISH, she is more than old enough to take care of her own child. Just like her mother did. Your own words, no matter how you try to mix them up, tell the truth. THE MOTHER WAITED TO HAVE HER CHILD, AND DIDN'T ASK ANYONE FOR HELP. THE DAUGHTER HAD A CHILD AND IS TRYING TO MAKE IT HER MOTHER'S RESPONSIBILITY. THE DAUGHTER IS WRONG, AND SO ARE YOU. OR do you search for ways to make other people cover your ass, too?
OP, continue with YOUR plans. I’m sorry you were treated so cruelly by your own family. Having a baby on your own is incredibly difficult. Abandonment of a 3 year minor is punishable by law. Ignorance is bliss. Inform her jail outfits are boring…they are all the same COLOR! And no smart phones are available. After she does some time in prison, she will beg for a job picking up trash if only she can go outside. It’s all relative.
No idea where jail is coming from.
It is coming from the story. The daughter ABANDONED HER SON WITH A STRANGER. That is punishable by law. Pity that being stupid isn't punishable the same way.
Frankly I'd be concerned for the child growing up with the grandmother too. She and the father didn't exactly do a great job raising their own child. Look how she turned out. I just feel sorry for the kid.
You should never automatically assume it's the parents fault in upbringing that has caused their child 's negative behaviors as adults. There are way to many outside influences going into a child that cannot be monitored by the parents. Then again the nature vs nature has never been fully 100% either direction
Clearly wrong.
Although it's easier to do, YOU CAN'T ALWAYS BLAME THE MOTHER AND, OR FATHER if the child turns out to be an ignorant, selfish jerk. Yes there are some but I don't get that from this grandma.
Yes the child has a Mom who is being selfish. Get a regular job and file for child support
Next day, I was shocked when I got a call from a man claiming Emily had left the baby with him. He might be the father. She’d given him detailed instructions and gone to a city event. Panicked, he found my number on a medical form. I drove three hours, picked up my grandson, and faced a flood of texts: “You pushed me to this. You owe me help. I’m trying to build something for all of us.”
Now I realize I might be the only adult my grandson can count on. Was I heartless to step back, or foolish to ever think she’d grow up? What would you do?"
Bright Side community had a lot to say about Marge’s heart-wrenching situation:
- Sunny_Daze87
Honestly, I don’t blame you at all, Marge. You’ve been carrying everyone for decades. It’s okay to step back. - PixelPenguin_42
Wow... I feel for the kid, but your daughter sounds completely unprepared. You can’t fix her, and it’s not your responsibility anymore. - TeaTime404
I get why she’s upset, but leaving a toddler with a man who might be the father while attending events? That’s beyond irresponsible. You did the right thing.

I would inform child services about the at-risk behavior of a mother with no job
- c0ffeeaddict99
I think you’re being too hard on her. She’s trying in her own messy way. Maybe a middle ground? - LemonPoppy$
I’d honestly be scared too. You’re right to prioritize your own retirement. You can’t rescue everyone forever. - quietstorm__21
Your daughter is an adult. You helped enough. She’ll have to face the consequences of her choices.

To cOFFee99, there is NO MIDDLE ground. The daughter is intentionally trying to frighten her mother, to get her own way. This woman is far too old to be raising a child in today's world.
- NeonBasil7
But Marge... the baby is three. He needs stability. I get retirement, but maybe some structured help instead of cutting everything off would’ve worked better? - astro_nova
I support you 100%. She treated your generosity like a given and still behaves like a teenager. You’ve earned a break. - hummingbird_88
This is complicated. I can’t fully side with either of you. She messed up, but he’s a child caught in the middle. Can you get temporary help for him while still stepping back?
Advice from Bright Side team:

Give.him up for adoption. U r too old to start looking after a toddler. Go no contact with ur daughter n let her fend for herself.
Dear Marge,
It’s clear you’ve been carrying more than your share for decades, and stepping back doesn’t make you heartless; it makes you human. Set firm boundaries with your daughter and communicate them clearly, so she can’t guilt you into undoing your retirement. Consider arranging professional childcare or a trusted support network for your grandson, so he has stability without relying solely on you. Focus on reclaiming your life, but keep channels open for guidance, not control, to help your grandson thrive.
Some choices break your heart no matter what you decide and sometimes, love demands more sacrifice than we think we can bear. At Bright Side, we recently received a letter from Nina, a 55-year-old woman whose life suddenly demanded she choose between her lifelong dream and her precious five-year-old granddaughter. Nina found herself in an agonizing battle between loyalty, love, and self-respect.
This is not just a letter. It’s a mirror, reflecting the silent struggles, so many women carry inside. Nina’s story will pull you in, break you apart, and make you question what it truly means to love... and to live. Read Nina’s powerful confession here.
Comments
The mistake you made was in picking up your grandson. This guy is probably the father. It is his responsibility. Your daughter is unable to parent because she views her son as a burden. She does not want to be a mom. She is weaponizing her child against you. Let her find backup child care, whatever that may be. It's her first attempt at not using you as a crutch
You've caused this problem. Why on earth have you been supporting her for three years? Did you give her any notice that you were going to pull the plug on her gravy train? You should have given her a couple of months notice to get a job and support herself like normal people do.
This is simple. She abandoned her baby. You need to call CPS and tell them what she did. Then you need to get an attorney and apply for custody. Understand your daughter is unstable not able to be a parent. Yes I know you want to retire. You still can. Unfortunately it would appear that you will be rasing your grandson.
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