I Refuse to Split My Inheritance With My Stepbrother—Now My Stepmother Is Using Dirty Tricks Against Me

In the battle between moral obligation and the law, can a family still stand? Our reader found herself caught in this exact crossfire when her father’s will excluded her stepbrother and left her as the only heir. Feeling conflicted amidst the grief and on the edge of a family breakdown, our reader anonymously reached out to us for some advice, and we couldn’t leave her hanging.

A father’s will

I recently inherited a huge sum from my dad. I’m his only biological child, and he never legally adopted my stepbrother. His will clearly left everything to me.

I was frustrated and confused when my stepmom’s lawyer contacted me and made a claim that my dad wanted both of his “kids” cared for and had a voice recording of him—just months before he passed—saying, “Maybe I should split it half-and-half.” She said he planned to update the will but didn’t get the chance, and insisted I honor what she called his true wishes.

I explained that I’m his legal heir. He never adopted her son, didn’t include him in the will, and treated us differently—he helped with my tuition but told my stepbrother to “learn responsibility.” Now she says she’ll pursue a legal claim for her son’s share. Some relatives are calling me insensitive, and even my boyfriend says he understands their side.

What should I do? Am I wrong?

Thank you so much for your letter. We understand how difficult this must be for you — dealing with the loss of your father and now bearing the responsibility of his inheritance. But you don’t have to deal with this alone — here are our thoughts on the matter.

Legally, you’re right.

From a legal standpoint, a valid will is the most important document in answering who gets what. If your father’s will clearly names you as the sole beneficiary and makes no mention of your stepbrother—and he never adopted him or modified the will—you are most likely the legal successor. Courts typically require official written documents to amend a will, and a voice recording does not have the power to override what is written down.

Your father may have had second thoughts.

Though your step-family wasn’t included in the will, the voice recording may indicate that your father was thinking about including them in the will, at some point. Now the onus is on you whether you establish some harmony in your family by including your stepbrother in the inheritance, or you keep the inheritance all for yourself.

You can choose to honor all your father’s wishes, or just the ones that were legally binding. Now the ball is in your court and however the way this affects your relationship with your step-family, you have to be ready to withstand the outcome of your decision.

Consider how your stepbrother feels.

To be excluded from the will of someone who was in the position of a father to you must be heart-breaking. And though you’re not obligated in any way to give your stepbrother anything, you should probably consider what fairness looks like to you and act on it. Especially if you’d like to keep a good relationship with him.

You can consider reaching a compromise that works for both of you, without anyone feeling pressured to do something that they’d rather not. This might help ease the emotional expectations that need filling. But remember, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to and nobody should pressure you.

Watch your own back.

You’re not wrong to follow the law. Your father chose you as the heir for a reason, and it appears that he intentionally treated you and your stepbrother differently. It is entirely up to you whether you want to strictly adhere to the will or share something as a courtesy.

It is also advisable to consult a probate lawyer. They can clarify your rights, and properly go through your stepmother’s claim, and ensure that you are legally protected.

Family dynamics can prove difficult when sidelining takes place. This reader relates how the hierarchy in her family is affecting her. Check out her story.