Blended family life can be full of tension, especially when stepchildren struggle to accept new routines. Sometimes even small gestures, like cooking dinner, can spark unexpected conflict. One stepmom shared how she finally set boundaries after constant rejection at the dinner table.
You dont say how old your daughter is.
This may have nothing to do with her being a step child. My own daughter went through years of only eating what her dad cooked. I still cooked for her, but her dad would plate it up and say he'd cooked it. It was frustrating but she did eventually grow out of it.
Perhaps you could've tried something similar saying her dad made a dish and seeing if that helped.
Hey Bright Side,
I remarried a few years ago, and my stepdaughter has always been picky about what I cook. No matter what I made, she’d bring food from her mom and insist it was better. I tried to be patient, forced smiles, and reminded myself that she’s just a kid adjusting to a new family.
One day, I made her favorite dish, hoping it would show her that I care. She tasted it, frowned, and said, “You don’t cook like my mom!” It hurt. I felt crushed, but I smiled and cleaned up after dinner like nothing had happened.
So what she can eat her mom's food you don't have any rights to exclude her
The very next day, I made a decision. I told her that from now on, she could have dinners at her mom’s place if she preferred. I excluded her from family dinners every night after that. It wasn’t about punishing her: it was about setting boundaries and protecting my own space in my home.
I know some people might see it as harsh, but I’ve realized that trying to force acceptance only led to resentment and hurt feelings. I’m just looking out for my own mental peace while still letting her enjoy meals with her mom, where she feels comfortable.
Sincerely,
Emma W.
You did the right thing you know she's being fed at her mom's and the mom is letting the behavior go on by sending meals with the little brat so keep doing what your doing it will teach her she can't be the spoiled brat she clearly is and eventually she will realize that if not that's something her mom will have to deal with in the long run
So your goal is to alienate her further.. Stop being so petty.Who cares you're not her parent. Stop trying to insert
Yourself into her life.She didn't choose you or this, Her father chose you , and that was not her choice. I can understand why she doesn't want to eat your food and you need to grow up. Do you think excluding her for family?Dinners is a good thing now.You're making your husband choose between her and you.I hope you feel good about that. Just confirming what she's known about you from what I can tell. Sounds like you're jealous, unsure of your place in this situation and vindictive.
There's no excuse for deliberate rudeness. How much crap do.you think a stepmother or anyone should have to take in her own home? This woman tried and was met with hostility and uncalled for rudeness. Maybe the answer was harsh - it should have come from her father. The only nasty, jealous one I see here is the stepdaughter.
Shouldn't be allowed around children or elderly
Why not? Do you not trust yourself around them? Why dont you feel you should be allowed near them?
Retard
Actually yes you should be locked up but it's her house her fucking rules
Harry Verner IS A JACKASS, BUT the word you used, is vile.
What would you have done if her mom was not within walking distance but a few cities away? But really eliminating her from your "family" dinners was wrong and a backward step in her feeling accepted in her dad's new world. Your a grown adult and all you had to do was accept her and forget about the contest of best chef. If you would not of kept asking her opinion about how food tastes, simply enjoying the fact that before you blew it she was sitting down to a family meal. What's up with her wimpy excuse of a father that he's ok with this?
Nonsense. Stop victimizing this poor woman, she did what was best for her household. The punk can go be a jerk at her mom's. OP doesn't have to suffer the daily rudeness from a dirty nosed punk.
Let that brat starve
She wouldn't have to do a thing🙄😂 I don't think the girl would be going two cities away just to get dinner from her mother, drive back to her house and sit down and eat... senseless. That would be very spiteful at that point of the girl
That child eliminated herself, WITH the help of her own mother. Her father is the one who should be dealing with the little brat. BUT, NO, it's the Stepmother, getting stuck trying to feed AND discipline her. That kid wasn't starving for anything except MANNERS.
Excluding her?? Really?? And how'd that end up working for you? I cook. If people eat fine. If they don't eat that is fine too. Bringing food from her mom, so what? Jealousy is an ugly emotion
It isn't jealousy. It's the bio mother weaponizing her child. She's sending meals over to be rude & hurtful to the step mother. And in turn messing with her ex's marriage in hopes of making him as miserable as she is.
Jesus, how many of you idiots are out there? This IS NOT ABOUT JEALOUSY. IT IS ABOUT DISRESPECT. If her mother cooked for a stepchild and was treated like that, SHE would have had a fit. So what makes it ok for her to do it to her own stepmom?
Excluding her is wrong. Her bringing meals from her mom's is just a way to stay connected. I don't think she is trying to hurt you.
Her parents divorce must gave effected her really bad.
Maybe the two if you can cook together, have her show you how her mom makes a meal or two.
Who knows maybe this might help you bond.
Stop blaming the OP. The little punk is the problem
Never once blamed OP, in fact I blamed no one, since I know everyone in this situation can be blamed, but children of divorce can be; manipulated by a parent (possibly her mom here), be very mentally damaged by both parents, feel threatened by the step parent(s) i can go on...
But the kid goes out of her way to comment on it. So she is going it TO hurt her feelings. New wife should talk with the kid but it's a little late for that not. Assuming this is real anyway.
Retard
She IS trying to hurt her by always criticizing stepmother's cooking.
Wonderful reply and a beautiful solution 🤩
Oh, you bet. Let me COMPLETELY IGNORE AND INSULT MY STEPMOM, THAT WILL HELP US BOND! You have been eating too much lead paint, sweetie.
You gave her what she wanted. Dinner with mom. It's fine. You don't need to engage in a power struggle over food
Don't exclude her. Make her feel welcome with you. If course you don't cook like her mom, you are not her mom as you are two different people. Ask if she would like to cook with you and help make it how she likes. Where is the dad in all of this? What does he say? Speak with her mom. The damage to the family has already been done, they are broken and you just want to be the glue to try to hold things together but you can't do it on your own. Your new daughter and her parents have to help too.
Yes she should exclude her because she never eats the food anyway, All she does is criticize and set her mother cooked better, so yes she should eat at her mother's everyday you can't be accommodating people who are very ungrateful sorry do not agree with what you just said
Children of divorce then new blended family need a little extra compassion. You sound like a mean high school *itch
No one said that there was criticism about the food until stepmom wants to discuss the food. Why would the girl talk about the taste of food she is not eating? It's the stepmom whining about her not eating her food that kicks it off.
U shouldn't b around kids or the elderly
Kids are fucking brats and need to realize thAt they don't run ANYTHING and they need to RESPECT other people
Where is the stepdaughter's dad in this? I would be curious on his take and if he agrees with his child being excluded. Also, does her mother know she does this? Does she encourage it or is she being told a different story such as stepmom doesn't cook for her?
You do need to save your mental peace but excluding your stepdaughter should be a last resort. Why not talk to her, with her dad present, and tell her that when she eats any meals in your home, whether it's what you cook or what she brings from her mother's, there will be NO critiquing of ANY of the food served. Unless she is asked and then it's to be done politely.
Emma, thank you so much for sending us your story! It takes a lot of courage to share these kinds of experiences, especially when blended family dynamics are involved. You acted thoughtfully and respectfully: you gave your stepdaughter options while setting clear boundaries for yourself. Protecting your mental well-being and home environment is completely reasonable.
In situations like this, it helps to communicate openly with both your spouse and your stepdaughter about expectations. Framing your boundaries positively, explaining that you want family meals to be enjoyable for everyone, can reduce tension and help her adjust over time. Remember, setting limits doesn’t make you mean: it’s a healthy way to maintain respect and harmony in a blended family.
The child, as we're told growing up...if you don't like what I cook go hungry. It worked and we're not entitled adults who now appreciate the little things in life.
The child prefers her mom's cooking and is vocal about it. Obviously, the biological mom is close enough that the girl can eat dinner with her before going to step mom. Don't exclude her entirely. If there is any connection with you and bio mom, ask her about the child's preferences. If not, ask dad. Maybe ask the girl if she would like to show you how to make her favorites.
you shouldn't exclude herm she is still a kid, a child..
I would not exclude her. U would simply say something like yep she is a better cook when it comes to your favorites as she has been preparing them longer. Then go on to say if you don't care for supper you are more than welcome to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
This is my take on the situation. The step- mom was wrong in sending her home to eat her meals. If she didn't want to eat what she was serving, that was up to her. But she needed to sit at the table until everyone else was finished. Missing one meal is NOT child abuse. When the child says, " it doesn't taste like mom's." She shouldn't have gotten upset. She should have replied, "that's because I'm not your mom. " That reassures the child she isn't trying to take her mother's place. The mother on their hand is enforcing this bad behavior. She is sending the separate meals, she is not telling the child to be polite and just eat it the food anyway, she is allowing the child to come home for meals. The mother is doing this as a way of weaponizing the child against her father. If she can cause enough issues with the step mother it will cause issues with the two of them. Making him as miserable as she is. This is not helping the child adjust to the new living arrangements of divorced life. This is not good for the child's mental welfare. And will not allow her to have healthy relationships with other men or women in the future
