I Refuse to Work Again With the Woman Who Fired Me Two Years Ago

Workplace drama can quickly become a career nightmare when a toxic former boss reappears, forcing difficult decisions about your well-being, stability, and future. When office politics collide with past trauma, even a job you love can start to feel unbearable. Today, a reader wrote to us about coming face-to-face with the manager who fired her years ago.

Carmen’s letter:

Dear Bright Side,

Hi! My name is Carmen, and I am 36.

I got fired from my old job by my manager, Nancy, after I refused to do her work for her.
She would dump tasks on me, disappear for long coffee breaks, then take the credit at the end of the day.

After 3 weeks, I finally confronted her. She called me “lazy” and accused me of “avoiding responsibilities”. Since she was my senior, she had the power, and she fired me.

I left and eventually found another firm. I’ve been here for 2 years. I’ve rebuilt my career and grown so much. I genuinely felt happy here.

Then I found out that Nancy has left her old job, got hired at my current firm, and is joining our team. Worse, she’s going to be my manager all over again.

This felt like my worst nightmare coming back. I went straight to HR and told her, “I’m not working with her! She fired me two years ago! This woman is unprofessional.”

HR smiled and didn’t say anything.

Today, I went numb when everyone in the office got an email from HR. It said:
“Dear team,
We’re excited to announce that Mrs. Nancy H. will be joining us as your new manager. To help her settle in and learn how we do things, Carmen will be working closely with her as her guide for the next three months.”

I read it three times. HR had assigned me to train the woman who fired me because it would help us “move forward” and “ease up the tension”.
I said nothing.

After lunch, my desk was empty. I told HR I quit. I can’t stay somewhere that expects me to train the person who mistreated me.

But now I’m second-guessing myself. Did I overreact?
Two great years, gone because of one person. But working under her again? I couldn’t do it.

What would you do?

— Carmen

Dear Carmen, thank you for sharing your experience with us. Before you finalize your decision to leave, take a moment to think through your next steps with a clear head.

You deserve to feel safe at work, to see real consequences for bad behavior, and to move forward in a way that works for you. Here’s what we suggest:

Build a documented record of events

Before deciding anything, create a factual timeline of what happened with Nancy: dates, tasks she pushed on you, credit she stole, and the reason he gave for firing you.

Meet with someone above your HR rep and say: “I need to document a prior conflict with my new manager.” Ask them to add it to your file and confirm in writing who handles escalation if it happens again.
This isn’t venting — it’s a paper trail that makes HR take you seriously.

Turn onboarding into public proof of your work

If they still want you to assist her, turn it into a formal onboarding plan everyone can see: a checklist with task owners and sign-offs. Log every task as “Carmen completed X” and every decision as “Nancy approved Y.”

This removes her ability to disappear and claim credit — the workflow becomes proof. If she tries dumping work on you, point to the checklist: “That’s assigned to the manager.”

Secure a reassignment plan upfront

Use HR’s “three months” language to your advantage: propose a written agreement that after 30 days you either move to a different reporting line or transfer teams.
Frame it as: “I’ll help with onboarding, but I need a reassignment option in place if old patterns resurface.”

HR created this timeline and named you publicly — asking for a checkpoint is reasonable. If they refuse, that tells you everything about whether staying is worth it.

Exit with a strategy, not out of panic

Instead of walking out with an empty desk, come back with a controlled exit plan: apply for internal roles first while quietly interviewing outside.
Tell HR: “I’m not resigning today — I’m exploring reassignment and will decide by [date].”

This protects your two years, keeps references intact, and prevents them from calling you impulsive. If nothing improves, you still leave, but on your terms, with options ready.

Heather is dealing with growing conflict at work after she refused to absorb the extra tasks left by laid-off coworkers. But her pushback led to unexpected fallout with HR, leaving her worried about both her job and her well-being.