This mom found herself in the difficult position of asking her mother-in-law to leave because she was trying to wake her up. While some people manage to get along well with their mothers-in-law, this mom was unable to do so due to this unfortunate situation.
My husband often forgets to tell me when he has invited guests over, and frankly, I’m fed up. We have a 10-month-old baby, and there have been numerous times—about 15—when he’s brought over his mother or sister without a heads-up.
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They both live two hours away. This past Saturday, just as I had settled down with our baby for a nap, my mother-in-law arrived. I had barely fallen asleep when she and my husband entered our bedroom. I woke up to my husband adjusting my shirt, telling me, “Hey, mum’s here to see us.”
I responded, “I just got the baby to sleep, so now’s not a good time.” He whispered back, “Babe, she drove two hours to see us. You can nap later.” We’ve had countless talks about this, so I was annoyed and told him to leave the room.
My mother-in-law chimed in, trying to get me out of bed, saying she hadn’t come all this way for nothing. I lost my patience and told her, “Actually, you did, because we’re not getting up for a surprise visit. Please leave.”
My husband, looking embarrassed, escorted his mom out as she muttered about respect. Soon after, I heard the front door slam shut. I went back to sleep and woke up later to find my husband in the kitchen, clearly upset. When he saw me, he exploded, criticizing me for embarrassing him and arguing that a brief meeting wouldn’t have been too much to ask.
I stood my ground, insisting on being informed about visitors beforehand. Now he claims he did tell me, which isn’t true, and he’s upset that his mother’s long drive was for nothing. But I was exhausted and needed that rest, and I’m sticking to my boundaries.
Thank you for trusting us. We do love helping our readers. Here are possible solutions that you might want to consider.
Suggest that your husband use a shared calendar or an app to keep track of when guests are coming. This way, he’ll remember to tell you, and you’ll get a heads-up. If family visits are frequent, think about making a special routine that’s fun but not too tiring. Maybe set up a special spot for guests or plan some simple activities to do together.
Talk with your husband about picking certain days or times that work best for visits. This helps both of you plan better. If a visit comes at a bad time, try suggesting a quick video call instead. This way, you can still catch up with family without it being too tiring for you.
If you can, talk to your mother-in-law and other family members about this. Explaining directly how sudden visits disrupt your routine might help them understand and be more considerate.
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