I’m Married, but My Wife Forbade Me to Approach Our Kids Like I’m a Stranger

He’s been happily married for 7 years, raising three amazing kids—at least, that’s what it looks like. Behind closed doors, his wife has forbidden him from getting close to his own children. What could drive a mother to such extremes?

A dad of 3 turned to Reddit with his story and asked people for advice.

The man wrote, “My wife (31f) and I (32m) have been together since college, and we’ve been married for 7 years. We have three children together, and I am sick of either having to step back and let her raise the kids almost as a single mom or fight with her because I did something with our children, even something as simple as feeding them. But that’s where I’m at.

She wasn’t like this when our oldest was born. It started when she was pregnant with our twins. She would always tell me to tidy or run some errands when I wanted to spend time with our child. Then she’d keep him by her side the entire day, or she’d go off somewhere if I said we should all spend the day together and focused on our oldest. But when the twins came, it was worse.”

OP’s wife literally forbade him to approach his own kids.

The man complained, “Every time I went to feed or change a baby, she was telling me to go back to bed or to run to the store for something. Whenever she caught me holding and doing anything with one of our kids, it was like I was committing a crime. When I’d ask her what the issue was, she said there was nothing, but I should just make myself useful. Even if I was doing that.

One time, she was delayed on the phone talking to her sister, so I put our oldest to bed and got the twins fed. She freaked out and yelled at me for doing it without her. I told her it wasn’t like I went off schedule, and she was busy. She said that wasn’t the point.

Then came the fights about me trying to be with the kids instead of working or running errands. When I took time off I would make sure I got time with the kids, and she’d be ready for a fight and if I didn’t let a fight happen she’d yell at me anyway. Whenever I didn’t push through, she’d find a way to keep the kids from me. I told her it bothered me, and she said it was all in my head.”

The OP is seriously considering divorce, because things went too far.

The man shared, “Another time she accused me of trying to hog the kids even though I hadn’t been home all day. She hated me babywearing. I was screamed at for picking the kids up from her parents’ house one day. She was at an appointment, and I was getting out of work, so I thought it made sense. But she told me she decided to leave them with her parents, so I should respect that, and I told her I was just as capable of taking care of them as her.

She was hospitalized briefly a couple of months ago and that’s when I reached the point of like I’m fed up, we should divorce. I took some days off work so I could be with the kids, and she kept telling me to go back to work and let the kids stay with her parents until she got home. And she was screaming at me while she was in the hospital because I had the kids. She sent her parents to try and take them off me twice.

When she recovered, I told her this couldn’t continue and if this was the way things would be we should divorce, and she screamed and said I would be a villain to destroy our family and break up our kids’ stability. Even my own parents told me I should find a way to make it work. But she won’t even sit down and talk to me, therapy is out of the question on her part, and I don’t want the kids to see us fight every time I interact with even one of them.

Should I divorce her?”

Reddit community had a lot to say in the comments.

People were extremely active in the comments under the man’s desperate post. With over 2,6K comments, it’s clear that the OP’s story provoked various emotions and absolutely explosive opinions.

One user wrote, “You’re not in a wrong but TBH, she does need therapy badly. But if you want to divorce, you should really document this behavior and get stuff together because she’s going to go for full custody.”

Another person suggested, “Listen there is something seriously wrong here, she needs help, if I were you, I’d talk to her parents privately and try to get to the bottom of what is wrong. My first thought throughout reading was she was mistreated as a child. It sounds like this is because she’s afraid of you being alone with them, you can’t go on like this, and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

One more person commented, “Normal people are appalled by her behavior. If they find nothing wrong with it, then there’s a lot going on there.”

Another user advised, “Please check up the laws in your country/state and start recording things where allowed. And if any doctors or nurses were witness to her behavior toward you about the kids when she was in the hospital, see if you can get a statement from them.”

Someone explained, “Parenting is supposed to be a partnership, not one person gatekeeping the kids while the other gets treated like an outsider. You’ve tried communicating, you’ve offered therapy, and she still refuses to even talk it out.
That’s not just a parenting issue — that’s a control and respect issue. Your kids deserve to have a voice in their upbringing. Divorce isn’t destroying the family — her refusal to co-parent already is.”

One more person wrote, “You’re not wrong but don’t be surprised if she lies to CPS or tries various other ways to get in the way of your custody time. She clearly has mental issues going on. When you start filing, give your lawyer detailed notes of things she has said and done to keep you from spending time with the children, so they are aware there is already a history of interference with her. If you get 50/50 custody, she will go mad.”

And here’s another explosive story from our reader, Rita. She cared for her dying daughter-in-law, then stepped in to raise her two young grandchildren. But a new woman entered her son’s life, and now she faces a devastating ultimatum: give up the kids or be cut out of their lives forever.
Is she a loving grandmother or a possessive villain? Read on, and we bet you’ll have a lot to say!