My Daughter Refused to Give Us Grandkids, So We Refused to Give Her Inheritance

Family & kids
3 weeks ago
My Daughter Refused to Give Us Grandkids, So We Refused to Give Her Inheritance

When Mara cut her daughter Lia out of the will, she expected anger, and not the chilling promise Lia made before walking out. Now, strange things keep happening, and Mara can’t tell if it’s coincidence or revenge. Did Mara go too far? And is Lia about to show just how serious her threat was?

What if she couldn't have kids, or didn't have a stable relationship or enough money or fear of giving birth, I'd rather not have that dirty money

-
-
Reply

Dear Bright Side,

I never imagined I’d be the kind of mother writing in about family drama, but here I am — heartbroken, confused, and wondering if I did the right thing. For forty years my husband and I lived modestly, worked hard, and saved carefully.

We always said our biggest goal was to leave something behind for our grandchildren. A small nest egg that could help them start life a little easier than we did.

But a few months ago, that dream shifted in a way I didn’t see coming.

Our only daughter, Lia, came over for dinner one Sunday. We’d just finished dessert when she casually announced she didn’t want children.

She said she didn’t see the point of “tying herself down” and wanted to live life fully instead; travel the world, stay in boutique hotels, and “finally enjoy what money can buy.” My husband and I looked at each other, unsure how to respond.

Then she laughed and said, “You can just leave me my share now if you want. I’ll make good use of it.”

I told her that we’d always planned for our savings to go toward our grandchildren, and not first-class vacations. Lia rolled her eyes and said, “Well, that’s your plan, not mine.”

After she left that night, I couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t about the money, really. It was about the meaning behind it. For us, saving had always been about family, about legacy. But for her, it seemed to be about lifestyle.

Eventually, after a lot of soul-searching and some painful discussions, we decided to update our will. Everything we’d once intended for Lia would go to my brother’s son, Bruce, who has two little ones and works himself to the bone to provide for them.

When we told Lia, she just smirked. Then she said something that’s been echoing in my mind ever since:

I hope Bruce and his wife take care of you when you need it. Yes. It's your money but your daughter doesn't owe you grandchildren nor do you have to fund your daughter's fun before you pass.

-
-
Reply

“Since you cut me off, don’t expect everything to be normal again. You’ve made your choice, and I’m making mine.”

At first, I thought it was just anger talking. But lately, strange things have been happening. My sister-in-law mentioned Lia’s been asking pointed questions about our house — whether it’s protected legally, what would happen if something happened to us before the will was finalized. It’s as if she’s coming after our house.

And last week, a travel agency called to confirm a luxury trip booked under my name. When I said I hadn’t booked anything, the woman apologized, saying a “family member” must have done it.

Now I don’t know what to think. Was that her threat? Is she trying to punish us? Or just get even in her own way?

love my daughter deeply, but every call turns into an argument. My husband says we need to stand firm, but part of me just wants my child back, no matter what.

So, Bright Side (and maybe your readers can help too) did we go too far? Should parents still leave something to a child who rejects the family’s values? And what would you do if your daughter hinted at revenge?

— Mara

Mara thought she was doing the right thing in rewarding responsibility and protecting her family’s future. But her decision shattered her bond with Lia, turning love into silence and trust into fear. Now she’s caught between principle and parenthood, wondering: can a mother’s choice ever justify losing her only child?

Did Mara go too far?

Coming from a family where multiple members say the same things. You must stand your ground. The fact that these things are being said and done possibly by your daughter shows that something is seriously wrong. Talk to her first though and try to explain things from each other's point of view but make things iron clad with your will. No matter what do not take the threat or coincidences lightly. Put the will in iron clad writing first before talking because a will can always be changed by you the parents but protect and talk. Make sure everything is backed with action.

-
-
Reply

No you have done nothing wrong it's your money and you can spend it as you please.... I know someone who is leaving everything to a no kill animal shelter and I personally love it. When my grandfather goes the only thing I want is this dresser he made. It's not high end furniture but he made it with his own two hands and that means more to me then anything. I will cherish it forever and hopefully one day I can gift it to a grandchild if I'm lucky enough to have one or I'll give it to my sisters daughter kid if and when she has one that's old enough to look after such a precious hand crafted piece of furniture.

-
-
Reply

Sounds like you all deserve each other. You definitely dropped the ball on parenting, if she turned out like that and making any inheritance dependant on her having kids is the ultimate control move.

-
-
Reply

Talk to your lawyer and put your assets in a trust of some sort so Lia can't touch it. She seems unhinged.

-
-
Reply

You are using your inheritance as a means of gaining compliance from a child, who may not make a good parent. What kind of mom would you expect her to be when she doesn't want to be one? Is she married? Any prospects? Do you want her to have a baby for you to raise. Good luck with those family values.

-
-
Reply

While she can make her own choices, that same fact applies to everyone. Get your lawyer to have you sign a boiler plate will that gives your wishes until the will is updated. It would be better to put it in trust for the people you named. A revocable trust locks when you need a POA or die. The house becomes property of the trust and will be out of her hands.

-
-
Reply

No one "owes" anyone grandkids. But the daughter isn't "owed" anything either.

-
-
Reply

I'm going through probate on my mom's estate. The daughter can still contest the will even if they leave everything to someone else.

-
-
Reply

Wills and money discussed regarding death is crass and unnecessary. And beyond hurtful. It’s blatant greed and not what a will is for. I’m sorry you don’t think your daughter is worthy of your inheritance. Sounds like no one is respecting boundaries either.

-
-
Reply

Clearly, your daughter trying to rob your wealth. Call lawyer, call police, and call your child, have CLEAR discussion in front of her the risk overtake something which is not hers. An eye 👁️ for an eye 👁️, a teeth 🦷 for a teeth 🦷See if she changes, if not or if she get worse, maybe jail life better for her. I know you love her, but if you defend her act, then you will have endless conflict with your husband till the end of your life. Just be clear, WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER HAS DONE IS A CRIME ACT.

-
-
Reply

What criminal act? Which law? Even booking a cruise under someone elses name, so long as she isnt using their money which would be theft, isnt exactly a crime

-
-
Reply

Like john said, that isnt a criminal act, the name isnt trademarked or anything or applying for a credit card or loan. Though please, if you can show me the law or statue that would show its a criminal act share it. I am happy to learn new things im not a lawyer by any means after all

-
-
Reply

Identity fraud

403 (1) Everyone commits an offence who fraudulently personates another person, living or dead,

(a) with intent to gain advantage for themselves or another person;

(b) with intent to obtain any property or an interest in any property;

(c) with intent to cause disadvantage to the person being personated or another person; or

(d) with intent to avoid arrest or prosecution or to obstruct, pervert or defeat the course of justice.

Marginal note:Clarification

(2) For the purposes of subsection (1), personating a person includes pretending to be the person or using the person’s identity information — whether by itself or in combination with identity information pertaining to any person — as if it pertains to the person using it.

So yes, it is actually a crime. Even if she used her own money to pay for it.

-
-
Reply

Other already answered you, also have you read this too ? ((My sister-in-law mentioned Lia’s been asking pointed questions about our house — whether it’s protected legally, what would happen if something happened to us before the will was finalized. It’s as if she’s coming after our house.))

-
-
Reply

Why in TF would Anyone tell their children or grandchildren or any other relatives WHAT THEY ARE LEAVING FOR THEM IN A WILL? IF you are still ALIVE, it is STILL YOURS. If you choose to give your child money before you die, that is your choice. Any child saying GIVE ME MY INHERITANCE NOW, deserves nothing. And any parent that tells their child that they are not worthy because they are not living in the way the parents want, don't deserve any respect from their children. If you only had children to carry out your wishes and not become individuals, but only keep YOUR NAME relevant you should get a fish.

-
-
Reply

So, did Mara go too far, cutting Lia out of the will? On one hand, you can see where she’s coming from. Forty years of saving, thinking about grandkids, doing what any parent would do to protect their legacy. I mean, she and her husband clearly had a plan, and Lia’s idea of blowing it all on luxury trips isn’t exactly in line with that.

But then again... it’s her daughter. And now things feel tense and off. Some might say Mara should’ve tried harder to meet Lia halfway, or at least talked it out more. It’s tricky, right?

Does Lia deserve her inheritance?

NTA Your entitled narcissistic daughter is. The way she announced it and demanding the money now . What daughter does that? She's now being spiteful. She was looking for an argument. I wouldn't have had the knee jerk reaction you had. I would have processed it first. Get your house protected. She's up to something. She obviously got whatever she wanted growing up. Now she'st an entitled AH who doesn't appreciate anything you've done for her. .

-
-
Reply

Lia’s in a tough spot, isn’t she? She’s an adult, making her own choices, and she clearly has her own ideas about how to live life. Traveling the world, enjoying herself — you could say she’s just following her dreams. From that angle, why shouldn’t she get her inheritance if it’s hers by right?

But then again... her parents spent decades saving with grandkids in mind. Lia openly dismissed that plan, even smirking when they confronted her. Arguably, that inheritance isn’t just a handout. It comes with expectations, at least in this family. So does she deserve it, or not?

Does Lia have the right to punish her parents?

Write your daughter out of the will through a lawyer. Leave everything to someone or something else. Whether it be another relative or your favorite charity. Then make sure your daughter knows that she's getting nothing. It's clear she's more interested in your money than you. If she wants money to blow on frivolous things she can work two to three jobs a save up the money herself.

-
-
Reply

Lia’s clearly hurt, and it seems like she’s not backing down. But punishing her parents? That feels a little extreme, right? Sure, they cut her out of the will, but that’s not exactly unheard of. Parents have their reasons for doing what they think is best, even if it’s hard to swallow.

On the other hand, Lia might see this as a betrayal, especially when she’s been told her whole life that this inheritance was hers. So, does she have the right to hit back? Or is this just an overreaction to something she could’ve worked through?

Mara’s situation has us all wondering: was cutting her daughter off the right move, or did she push too far? It’s clear this family drama isn’t over yet, and we’re dying to hear what you think. Share your thoughts below, and check out another story about how inheritance can tear families apart.

Comments

Get notifications

I have kids and I have grandkids but telling your kid that they don't get an inheritance because they choose not to have kids is a soft blackmail. Just because the parents want grandchildren is not the daughter's problem. Two of my kids told me that they don't want children and I support them because it's their bodies and their decisions. Not everyone wants kids and make the decision to not reproduce. Honestly I know people who had kids because they were pressured by their parents and they ended up being extremely abusive and neglectful parents. Do the parents have the right to leave their money to whoever they choose? Yes but they shouldn't expect their decisions to come without consequences. I would rather have no grandkids and a great relationship with my kids than blackmailing someone to have kids. I have seen way too many people being in abusive situations because of a parent telling them that it's the only way to get their inheritance, it is better to not have kids if you don't want them, children are not playing things or tools for control

-
-
Reply

The money the parents saved for yrs. Should not be thrown away by a spoiled brat. Let her pay for her own trips. ! Maybe the parents could talk to the brat and pay for some of the trips over the yrs. But not all. Good luck mom and dad. Much love to you two.

-
-
Reply

1 million times over: your children deserve nothing from your death. Period. Iya your money, your will, your choice. She's being a bitch. Period.

-
-
Reply

If you cut her off because she didn't want kids, that would be bad, but you didn't... you cut her off for being a money grabbing hedonistic witch. Good on you, your grandkids deserve the money. No one who cares that much about money deserves it.

-
-
Reply

Related Reads