My Daughter’s Teacher Threatened Her Because She’s a Picky Eater

Raising children is hard. It’s even harder if they have certain problems stemming from their early childhood. Some people don’t understand what’s happening, while others look down on you for no reason at all.

One of our readers reached out with her story.

Dear Bright Side,

I have a 10-year-old daughter called Emma. She has had stomach issues for the last few years, which makes it hard to keep her on a healthy diet. Since we found out about the issues, she’s been getting the same things for lunch, because when I change it she gets stomach pains.

This day was no different. I packed my 10-year-old’s lunch which consisted of a toasted sandwich, a packet of crisps, and a banana. With that, she gets a bit of money to buy a juice or whatever else she feels like drinking.

Later that day, we had a parent teacher conference, which isn’t something I’m worried about at all. My daughter always does well at school and everyone tends to like her. So I thought we would just be getting the usual praise. I was wrong.

There was a teacher who judged me for giving her the same ’unhealthy’ lunch every day. She said I was being an irresponsible parent for not paying attention to what my child eats. I almost lost my temper when she made things worse.

She threatened my daughter by saying, “I better see a healthier meal in your lunch box tomorrow. If I don’t, you’ll be failing my class.”

I was stunned. How could she possibly fail a student for not eating the way she expects them to? It’s not like anything my daughter is eating is unhealthy. Yet, the teacher acted like she was permanently eating junk food.

I tried to explain the situation to the teacher, but she cut me off before I even began, “You give her too much money. Maybe if you focused more on the health of your child instead of shoving her out the door, she wouldn’t spend so much at the cafeteria.”

That was where I drew the line. I told the teacher if she listened instead of assuming she’d actually know when some of her students have health problems. I proceeded with, “If you fail my daughter in this class, I will report you to the board of education.”

She went quiet after that, but I’m not sure if I went too far.

Thank you for reaching out. We understand how confusing and frustrating this situation can be. So we’ve put together a few tips that might help you deal with the teacher.

Set up a private meeting.

The best way to start addressing this situation is to set up a private meeting with the teacher. Explain your daughter’s medical condition and the situation you find yourself in. Clear up any other misunderstandings there might be, like the teacher thinking your daughter only buys lunch from the cafeteria.

Look at the responses and reactions.

Words and apologies are often an easy way to cover an issue, but they don’t mean there will be a change. When talking to the teacher, make sure you pay attention to her expressions and the words she’s using. There are ways to tell if someone is being genuine or not.

Make the hard choice.

After talking to the teacher, the decision is in your hands. If you feel that things have been resolved, continue as normal but keep checking in with your child to make sure your assumptions are correct. If you feel like you wasted your time, then you should consider taking more drastic actions.

Report the teacher.

If all else fails, it might be best to report your child’s teacher to the head of the school or the school board. Unfairness toward children isn’t tolerated, especially when it comes from teachers. It will then be up to the school to decide what action they will take.

It’s important to listen to what your child has to say about their teachers and friends. It’s experiences like these that shape the way they look at things, and being treated unfairly could grow with them into adulthood.