I Have to Pretend That I’m Miserable to Make My Disabled Sister Feel Better

Family & kids
3 months ago

Sharing a life with someone who needs extra support can be a balancing act. Sometimes it feels like their needs drown out your own. That’s exactly where our reader found herself. Her sister, confined to a wheelchair, lives at home with their parents, and their dynamic has always been skewed towards her sister’s needs. Lately, it felt like her own life was being put on hold.

Our reader reached out to us

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𝐰𝐰𝐰.Richnow05

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Reply

Thank you for reaching out to us! We understand how complicated this situation is. Here are some tips that might help you decide how to proceed.

Talk to your sister directly

Try talking to your sister about how you feel. Let her know you care about her, but also tell her how this is making things hard for you. She might not realize how her reactions affect you. Having a chat could help you both find a way to handle things better. Open communication can clear the air and show your sister you value her feelings.

Celebrate independently

Don’t wait for a family celebration that might not happen. Getting that promotion is awesome! Treat yourself to a nice dinner with friends, or have a celebratory video call with your best bud. Think of these people as your “support team” — the ones who will genuinely get excited for you, big or small wins. Surround yourself with positive energy that reflects your happiness.

Setting boundaries

Boundaries are about creating healthy space. It’s okay to have your own space and share your good news too. Explain that while you understand their concern for your sister’s feelings, it’s also important for you to have moments of happiness and to celebrate your achievements. You deserve to live your life fully and enjoy your accomplishments

Look for someone else

It’s okay if your current family dynamic isn’t ideal for emotional support. Look for people who genuinely celebrate your wins and uplift you. These could be friends, colleagues, or even a therapist. Building a strong chosen family gives you support that complements your biological one. You might not get the validation you crave from your parents right now, but you can find it elsewhere.

Not all heroes wear capes. Sometimes, they wear swimsuits and show up just in time. This was exactly the case for one of our readers. Exhausted from a long day at work, she pulled into the driveway, looking forward to a relaxing evening with her 3-year-old. Instead, her blood ran cold at the sight that greeted her — her daughter was alone in the swimming pool.

Preview photo credit Zachary Kadolph / Unsplash

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