It seems like 'giving everything' to children is a huge mistake. Feeling sorry for them, and hyperfocussing on them in your grief spared them the character-building lessons that smooth that sense of 'entitlement'.
These kids seem to see you as a 'means to an end' only.
It is what it is, and you've done all you can.
Publicly shaming isn't the answer though, is it? The same lesson, delivered privately and with love, may have appealed to her heart and opened her eyes?
It sounds like you gave way too much, they became entitled, and you are bitter.
Only love (not permissiveness), with boundaries, can help this.
My Granddaughter Kicked Me Out Because I Had No Money Left, I Taught Her a Lesson She Will Never Forget
A woman, 65, has penned an emotional letter to our editorial and shared her story that made a huge stir among us. She shared how she raised her grandkids as her own kids after their parents died in a bad accident. The woman went through a lot and gave these children the best of lives, only to discover later that her granddaughter want to get rid of her because she had no money left. But the loving grandma didn't want to swallow this bitter pill and decided to teach her a lesson that they'll probably remember for the rest of their lives.
Emma wrote us a letter and shared her painful story with us.
Emma, 65, is our devoted reader, who has always been giving good pieces of advice to people who found themselves in difficult life situations. The woman has never thought that one day she'll appear on the other side, becoming a person who'll be sharing a very painful story of her own. Emma mentioned that she wanted to hear other people's opinions about her situation and her actions after she found out that things in her family became very unhealthy.
The woman started her letter, saying, "Hi, Bright Side! I'm writing this letter to you, and I'm having so many feelings while I'm revisiting the situation that recently happened in my own family and affected my life a lot. So, I have 2 grandkids, who aren't kids anymore, they're both grown up and very well settled in their lives. I've been both their grandmother and their mother since they were 10 and 12 years old. My son and his wife died tragically in a bad car accident and their kids, my grandkids, were left without parents in a single day.
My grief was immense, I thought my life was over, because I lost my only son and my daughter-in-law, whom I dearly loved. My only way to stay alive and to survive through this enormous tragedy was to fill my life with a new sense, and a new meaning. And I did it, I dedicated all my life to my grandchildren, Paul and Rachel, who became my only life anchors since that overwhelming tragedy."
Emma spent a big part of her life taking care of her 2 grandchildren.
Emma shared, "At the moment of losing both of their parents, Rachel and Paul were at this age when kids are able to understand the meaning of a tragedy, and they were both in such a desperate state that it hurt me much even to look at them. I arranged a therapy for both of them immediately, I went through this together with them, and I worked so hard on myself to appear more optimistic to the kids, to be their guiding light in life. I was still full of grief and sorrow, but I absolutely had to pull myself together for the sake of the kids' wellbeing and comfort."
"After the tragedy, my life changed immensely. I turned from a grandmother to a multi functioning person, who had to be not only a granny to these poor kids, but their mom and dad. I became the sole caretaker and the sole provider for them. My life goal was to make sure Rachel and Paul lived in abundance, and they did. They had everything they needed and even more. I worked really hard to provide them with a decent life and education, and they were raised in love and care."
Emma made sure that her grandkids prosper in life.
Emma shared, "Rachel and Paul are all grown up now, they're both engaged and have their own places to live and decent, very well-paid jobs. Paul lives with his fiancée while Rachel lives alone at the moment, because her significant other is from another state, and she is planning to move in with him later this year.
I had been feeling very lonely after they both started living separately, and recently I asked Rachel if I could live with her in her big house (which I helped her to buy), to which she happily agreed. Now I understand that this 'happiness' was fake, and she wasn't very optimistic about sharing a house with me, but at that time I thought she was glad that we would spend more time together. I believed we both would make this co-living a good experience for me and her. I was mistaken to the core."
"One day, I overheard Rachel talking to Paul on the phone. She was angrily saying that she can't stand me anymore. She said that I became a burden for her because I didn’t contribute that much to the finances of the family. Rachel also complained that I was spending my days painting, which, by some reason, irritated and annoyed her.
Apparently, Paul was trying to reason her, saying that I'm their grandmother and I raised them both. But Rachel said that this all was then, and now things are different, and she wanted me to go away immediately. She called my paintings a 'sentimental nonsense' and said that for her, I was a 'dead weight' which she would prefer to get rid of."
Emma shared, "Rachel also said that Paul must now take me in, which he happily did. I moved to his house within a week after that conversation, and I was given a loving and caring attitude from Paul and his fiancée. And they gave me so much more!"
Emma taught both of her grandkids an important lesson one day.
Emma shared, "Paul's fiancée, Tina, saw my paintings and insisted on me showing them to a friend of hers, who specialized in art. To my surprise and astonishment, that man was in awe of my artistic approach, and he arranged an exhibition of my art in a big gallery. I was amazed to find out that people loved my art, 20 of my paintings were sold out very quickly, and I made a nice sum and even got a moment of fame during that memorable exhibition.
Then, suddenly, I saw Rachel, who came to this gallery, too. She approached me and started apologizing for what she did to me, and I said that I'm forgiving her with all my heart. Then, to my shock, Rachel started asking me about the money that I got from selling my art. It was obvious that she had an intention to ask me for something, and that was the moment when I had my plan on how to spend that good sum that I unexpectedly earned."
Emma wrote, "I took a microphone and said that I wanted to make an important speech. I told the whole story of my life to so many people who were present at the exhibition. There were a lot of relatives and friends of Paul and Rachel, and even their colleagues. I shared how I was mistreated by Rachel and then said that I don't hold grudges against her and I forgive her for this selfish act of hers.
And then, I announced that I'm giving all my money to Paul's fiancée, Tina, who believed in me and in my art and who didn't find it a 'sentimental nonsense'. I also announced that, from now on, I will paint even more pictures and that every single one that will be sold in the future, will contribute to the wellbeing of the person who has a kind and loving heart, Tina."
Emma said, "Rachel left the exhibition without saying a word to me, she cut contact with me since that day. I feel hurt by her action and I want to restore our communication, because she still means a lot to me. But at the same time, I feel that I had to teach her this painful lesson, because she can't act like this to people who sincerely love her, and I believe this is a good lesson for her and her future. Am I wrong in this situation?"
And here’s a story of a woman, who had to make a really tough decision about her pregnant daughter and her 6 kids. She kicked them all out of her house after she made a shocking discovery about her daughter’s plans and attitude. Read more to find out the details of this controversial story that provoked vivid debates once it was published.
Comments
A lesson for public speech? Not nice. Thanksgiving/acknowledgement public speech for DIL is great. Recognition in public. Save the lessons for in person