My Husband Wants Me to Pretend I’m Pregnant With a Boy, I Was Horrified When I Found Out Why

Pregnancy already comes with its own set of hurdles, but one of our readers found herself facing a whole different kind of problem. Her husband asked her to stage a fake gender reveal to please his mom, who was hoping for a boy. What seemed like a strange request at first ended up exposing a secret he’d been keeping from her. The truth left her completely blindsided and unsure of what to do next.

When I found out I was expecting, my husband hit me with a suggestion that totally caught me off guard. He started by saying he didn’t want to let his mother down, which made me nervous right away. “We’ll break the news later. It’ll be easier,” he said.

I was pregnant with a girl, but my MIL has always dreamed of a grandson. So we faked a “boy” reveal with blue balloons. She was thrilled. I felt sick.

Later, I overheard my husband and MIL on the patio. My heart dropped when he said, “It’s a boy, mom. Now you have to keep your promise. You said you’d pay off our mortgage if the first grandson was ours.”

I felt like the floor disappeared under me. It wasn’t just a lie to protect her feelings, it was a play for money. And at our daughter’s expense.

I confronted him that night. He looked caught, but not sorry. “You don’t understand,” he said. “This could help us. She’s got money set aside for the first male grandchild. If she finds out it’s not a boy, she might give it to someone else.”

I told him that we don’t need money built on lies. He looked at me like I was speaking another language. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I tell his mother the truth? Or will that just blow everything up?

Maya

Thank you for sharing your story, Maya. We completely understand how upsetting it can be to deal with deception, especially when it involves something as personal and emotional as pregnancy. To help you move forward, we’ve outlined a few ways to approach both your husband and mother-in-law.

Tell your husband how this affects your trust in him.

This situation isn’t only about your mother-in-law. It’s also about your marriage. Right now, your husband has made a major decision without your full agreement, and he’s asking you to stay silent for financial gain.

Have a calm but serious conversation with him—not to shame him, but to make it clear how deeply this shook your trust. Let him know it’s not just about one lie; it’s about what it says about your values as a couple and future parents.

Consider the long-term impact of keeping the lie going.

Every time your MIL buys a “grandson” onesie or plans something based on that lie, the fallout grows. Eventually, the truth will come out, and when it does, the betrayal will hurt far more than the initial news ever could.

Think about how your daughter will feel one day if she ever learns her gender was “disguised” for money. Even if the lie seems small now, it’s growing roots. Being honest now may be painful, but it gives everyone the chance to adjust, grieve expectations, and move forward with clarity.

Decide together how and when you’ll tell the truth.

Telling your MIL the truth will be hard, no doubt. But delaying it might only deepen the deception and give more power to a false promise. Ask your husband to be part of the solution. Frame it not as exposing a lie, but as correcting a misunderstanding before it gets out of control.

The two of you can come up with a plan to tell her respectfully, perhaps focusing on how excited you are to raise a strong, joyful daughter—and how gender doesn’t define love or legacy.

Talk to a counselor to help navigate the emotional load.

This is a layered, emotionally charged situation involving gender expectations, family pressure, money, and your marriage. Speaking with a counselor—either individually or as a couple—can help you untangle the stress and clarify your next steps.

Sometimes we know what’s right in our gut, but we need support to act on it in a calm and empowered way. A neutral third party can also help your husband see the long-term consequences of this lie more clearly.

Pregnancy can bring a lot of unexpected challenges—not just physically, but also in how others treat you. Many women suddenly find themselves on the receiving end of comments and opinions they never asked for. If you’re curious, check out this article, where 14 pregnant women share the most unbelievable things people said to them.