My Mom Gave Us Financial Advice, and My Wife Is Infuriated

Financial struggles often reveal the strength of a marriage. After losing his job and seeing his savings dwindle, the man in this story decided to turn to his mother for financial advice. But he never imagined that his mother's intervention would cause his relationship to crack to the point of losing his dialogue with his wife.

"I have been married to my wife for five years, and we’ve been struggling financially for the past few months. I lost my job about three months ago, and while I’ve found part-time work, it doesn’t pay nearly as much as before. We’ve had to cut back on a lot of things, but it feels like no matter what we do, we’re still living paycheck to paycheck and even pulling from savings.

My wife works part-time and doesn’t wish to go full-time. It's not good for her mental health."

"Recently, my mom came over to visit and noticed how stressed I was about the money situation. She offered some advice on how we could save money—things like cutting down on takeout, meal prepping to avoid buying groceries multiple times a week and switching to cheaper brands.

My mom has always been frugal, especially when she was raising me and my siblings on a tight budget. I thought it made sense, especially since we’re really trying to save wherever we can. I asked if she was willing to go through our spending and show where we could cut down. My wife agreed with this."

"She made a whole spreadsheet about our spending, and we spend way too much on fun stuff. We don’t need Starbucks every day and so on. It also became apparent that most of the fun spending was my wife's.

My wife didn’t take the breakdown well and started arguing with my mom that her spreadsheet was wrong. She said my mom’s way of doing things is 'outdated' and doesn’t work for us. She doesn’t want to give up buying organic produce and likes having variety in what we eat each week.

I tried to explain that we needed to make some sacrifices if we wanted to get out of this financial hole, but she kept insisting that things weren’t as bad as I was making them out to be and that we just needed to 'ride it out'."

"My mom left at this point, and my wife and I were still arguing, and she told me she couldn’t give up her takeout. She also went on about my mom being wrong. That’s when I lost my patience and said, 'You’re wrong. My mom is right. She managed to raise three kids on one income, and we can’t even cut back on groceries for a few months.'

My wife got really upset, saying I was being mean for winding up with my mom and that my mom was outdated. She’s barely spoken to me since, and now I’m wondering if I went too far. But the way I see it, we need to be realistic about our situation, and my mom’s advice could actually help us get back on track."

Tips for dealing with an economic crisis as a family

• Talking honestly: The first step is to sit down and talk. It may not be the most comfortable talk, but it is important that everyone in the family understands the situation. Lay your cards on the table, without blame or reproach, and look for solutions together.
• Listen without being defensive: Instead of trying to justify yourself when dealing with money problems, take a deep breath and make an effort to understand what they are saying. Accepting that we make mistakes does not make us weaker; on the contrary, it shows maturity and a willingness to improve.
• Change some habits: Sometimes we don't realize that small changes make a big difference. Every gesture counts, and you can make it a family challenge to make it more bearable.
• Seek support and alternatives: If the economic crisis is very complicated, do not hesitate to seek support from relatives or friends. They may come up with a creative solution you hadn't thought about.
• Keep a positive attitude: Crises happen more often than we care to admit. The important thing is not to lose your optimism. Remember that these situations can also be an opportunity to rethink priorities and strengthen the bonds between you and your family.

When economic problems mix with emotional ties, tensions soon arise. However, the most important thing is not to be right, but to find a common ground that allows the conflict to be resolved in harmony. Here are 13 Secret Ways to Effectively Save Money.