Neighbors come with complicated relationship dynamics. We could be friends with them, or there could be a dislike from the start. But one thing remains a constant: communication is key, and if that can’t be respected, things can go wrong. One of our readers shared her experience.
Dear Bright Side,
My husband and I recently bought a house, and our new neighbor is a realtor. From the beginning, I didn’t like her very much. She was too nosy and was always trying to get involved in our business. But I tried to be nice and neighborly.
Two weeks ago, we hosted a housewarming party, and my neighbor asked to photograph the house next door to ours during the party to “make the ads look good.” I didn’t feel comfortable with that, so I said no.
She fumed and said, “Can’t you be more neighborly and help a single mom make a living!” I just left because I didn’t see a need to defend myself in this case. On Saturday, we had our party and started hearing strange sounds coming from the house next door.
A bit later, we heard them again, so I went to check, and I caught her taking pics anyway. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, but I didn’t want to ruin the vibe, so I returned to the party and started planning my next move.
On Tuesday evening, she came by excited. She told me that she had 3 potential buyers. I smiled coldly. She had no idea that I had left a detailed one-star review on Zillow, Google, and her brokerage page explaining that she used my private property for commercial gain, and she didn’t have my permission.
I included timestamps and screenshots of the text exchange between us, where I refused to let her use my party as her background. Within days, she lost those 3 potential clients because they found my reviews.
Her broker put her on probation, and she had to take unpaid ethics training. That night, she came to my door in tears and explained that she was 2 months behind on her mortgage. The $12,000 commission she lost from the house sale was supposed to put her back on track.
You did go nuclear BUT you stated the facts and her broker was obviously concerned enough that she had to take ethics training and was put on probation. Expensive lesson for her to learn. If she would defy your refusal to take pictures so she could get ahead, what other ethical shortcuts would she be willing to take? Maybe she's better suited to a job with a salary vs one commission based.
She was basically saying that I cost her the house. Then she said that she took the photos from the property line, not even on my land, and my decorations were just visible in the background. She thought it wouldn’t matter.
I told her that I was sorry, but I also hope it teaches her to respect other people’s privacy. But yesterday a for-sale sign went up on her driveway, and I’m feeling terrible. My sister says I should’ve confronted her privately instead of destroying her reputation, and my husband thinks I overreacted.
To a point, I think they might be right. But she also used my property after I told her not to. So Bright Side, what do you think? Did I do the right thing? Or did I go too far?
Regards,
Candice F.
Also note, there already plenty "realtor" selling / renting PROPERTY WHICH IS NOT THEIRS OR WITHOUT THE OWNERS PERMISSION. THEIR FIRST STEP IS PHOTOGRAPH THE PROPERTY WITHOUT THE OWNERS PERMISSION.
Dear Candice,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.
You weren’t wrong for defending your boundary, but you escalated straight to the nuclear option without closing the loop first, and that’s where the regret is coming from.
This wasn’t a faceless company abusing customers. It was a neighbor who violated your trust once, during a single event, after you explicitly said no.
Before posting permanent, reputation-ending reviews, a direct confrontation like “I saw you taking photos during my party after I refused. Delete them or I’ll report this to your broker” would have given her a clear chance to correct the behavior and would have protected you just as effectively.
The lesson here isn’t that you should’ve let it slide. It’s when the conflict is personal and local that matching the response to the scale of the offense matters. Public accountability is justified when someone refuses to stop, but skipping that final warning is why this victory doesn’t feel like one.
Candice finds herself in quite a moral dilemma, and finding a way out of this might not be as clear-cut and simple as it seems. But she isn’t the only one who is having struggles with a neighbor.
Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience. Read the full story here: My Neighbor Refuses to Clean Up After His Dog—I Returned the Favor.
Being in a financial bind, is NO excuse, for lying about what you did. Ethics are not something that you "only use" when they benefit you. You didn't put her in that bind, and IF she had been honest from the start, you MIGHT have been willing to work with her. SHE did it, to herself.
I don’t defend your neighbor but I also think you overreacted. You could have talked to her privately.
