People Reveal 5 Behaviors That Show They Had a Traumatic Childhood, Even If Their Parents Didn’t Realize It
Many people have childhood experiences that may affect our life as we grow up. Some deep-set issues can even massively reduce the quality of our life, if left unaddressed. An online community discussed the things that adults do that they just realized were the results of their childhood experiences. The thread became a reminder for many people that asking for help is never a weakness.
1. Getting too attached to people.
A remarkable Reddit thread has recently turned the attention of many people. The question posted in it, was, “People who had traumatic childhoods, what’s something you do as an adult that you hadn’t realized was a direct result of the trauma?” One user shared their experience that resonated with many. They wrote, “Getting overly attached to people way too quickly, which usually pushes them away and just destroys me over and over again.”
Another user added, “This really hits home for me; the lack of affection, empathy, and attention from my childhood causes me to attach to partners very quickly; and it absolutely ruins me when they break up with me. I go from so elated and happy to depressed and broken, which is where I’m at now. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this; and know you’re not the only one. Therapy is helping.”
2. Not being able to handle criticism.
Criticism is sometimes a strong push for people to work on their weak points and a motivation to achieve new heights in life. But for people with traumatic childhood memories, handling it may be too much of a challenge. One person described it, writing, “Self doubt. Need for affirmation. Can’t take criticism well. I spent most of my life being a good test taker. Now I find it difficult to have patience with myself while I struggle to learn/pick up new things.”
Another user added to this life experience, saying, “I am always trying to please everyone, even those that are mean to me, and I am empathetic to a fault. The list is never ending, and I just learned all of this within the past year.”
3. Not being able to make decisions.
It may become a real problem if you always feel apologetic or find it hard to make life decisions, just like a user, who spoke in the thread. Another person caught up, saying, “If I don’t make decisions then I can’t make the wrong choice. And if I don’t make the wrong choice, my friends or loved one won’t be disappointed. And if they are not disappointed they won’t hate me.”
But there’s always the way out, and one person mentioned that the way you think can actually be your light at the end of the tunnel. They wrote, “I learned, the hard way, that not making a decision is still a decision. And it can be just as, if not more so, disappointing than the ‘wrong’ decision. If you are not decisive, you will find yourself lost, and it will be hard to find your way back. Make a decision, make mistakes, learn from them, so you can grow as a person.”
4. Self-depreciating humor.
One person mentioned a special type of humor they have developed over years, that might be the result of their childhood trauma. They wrote, “I realized recently that a lot of the cruel things that were said to me have embedded themselves into my regular vocabulary under the guise of ’self-depreciating humor’”.
Another person commented on it, saying, “Self-depreciating humor is normally a coping mechanism for low self-worth, which yeah how we’re raised would play a big part in, but it can also develop as people get older and have a rougher time. It’s important to be kind to yourself and removing any negative self talk is a good starting point.”
5. Avoiding physical contact with other people.
One of the highest-scoring and relatable comments was made by a user who found it difficult to even hug people. They wrote, “I used to loathe physical touch. After much contemplation, I realized I didn’t trust anyone enough to make myself vulnerable, even for a hug.”
Many users wrote they felt the same, with one adding, “I am exactly the same! The only people I have ever felt comfortable being physically affectionate with have been romantic partners, and my daughter. Everyone else makes me cringe, and I tense up and feel super uncomfortable in any hugging kind of situation. I have no idea why.”
And here’s yet another insightful article that describes 8 crucial signs that might signal that you grew up in a toxic family.