The Ugly Truth About Inheritance and How Money Tore My Family Apart

Losing someone we love leaves a huge hole in our lives, and it stirs up a mix of emotions. Now, add money into this equation — and you’ve got a potential disaster waiting to happen. A Bright Side reader recently lost her parents and when inheritance came into discussion, her relationship with her siblings took a turn for the worst. She asked for our advice, and we tried to find some tips that we hope will bring back her relationship with her brother and sister.

• Open and honest communication is crucial. Reach out to your siblings and express your concerns and feelings. Share your perspective on how the inheritance is affecting your relationship. Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings as well. This can be a starting point for understanding each other’s viewpoints.
• Seek mediation. If the conflicts seem hopeless, consider involving a neutral third party like a mediator or counselor. They can help facilitate productive discussions, provide perspective, and guide the conversation towards resolution.
• Focus on the bigger picture. Remind yourselves of the values your parents instilled in you. Reflect on the memories you shared, the love they had for each other, for you and your siblings, and their hopes for your future. Reconnect with the common ground that brought you together as a family.

• Let go of grudges. Holding onto grudges and resentments will only prolong the conflicts. Try to forgive past disagreements and focus on moving forward positively. This doesn’t mean forgetting, but it does mean not allowing negativity to control your interactions.
• Put yourself in your siblings’ shoes. Try to understand your siblings’ perspectives. Everyone may be dealing with their grief and fears in their own way. Empathy can go a long way in softening differences.
• Remind yourself what truly matters. Remember that material possessions are temporary, and relationships are lasting. Shift your focus from the money to the importance of maintaining family ties. Channel your energy into nurturing those bonds rather than fighting over material things.

• Set boundaries. If discussions become too heated or unproductive, it’s okay to take a step back and give everyone some space. Allow time for emotions to settle before re-engaging in conversations.
• Professional help: If the situation continues to escalate and becomes unbearable, consider seeking legal advice. This should be a last resort, but it can help ensure that the inheritance is distributed according to your parents’ wishes and the law.

Money can divide families and bring unwanted tension in the home. Another example of this is when Amy, a newly-become mother accepted her mother-in-law when she offered to babysit. However, things took a turn for the worse when the MIL asked for compensation in exchange for babysitting her grandchild.