Woman Brings Her Own Food to a Vegan Wedding and Causes a Fiery Reaction

For most people, a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event that the newlyweds, especially the bride, want to make absolutely perfect. While some brides are tolerant of “little” mistakes and imperfections, others can be quite sensitive to things that seem insignificant to others. That’s why it’s sometimes hard to tell if our behavior is appropriate or not.

Bright Side received a letter from a reader who brought her own food to her brother’s vegan wedding, which ’’ruined’’ the day for the bride. She has been wondering since then if her gesture was crossing the line.

Hey Helen! We’re glad that you reached out to us. Your situation is challenging, but we believe it can be happily resolved. We at Bright Side debated for hours, and here’s our advice.

• Try to understand why the bride got so upset.
  This is her special day, and she wanted to make a point about serving vegan food. She obviously feels strongly about her dietary choice and wanted to share it with everyone. Breaking this rule made her feel disrespected.
  The fact that she seemed like she was overreacting was also probably because of wedding day anxiety. Many brides (and grooms!) tend to be more sensitive on an important occasion like this.

• Your health comes first, no question about it.
  It’s totally normal to be concerned about your allergy. But perhaps you could’ve eaten a filling meal right before the ceremony — that way, you could’ve just skipped the lunch altogether or had some plain salad at the wedding and nobody would’ve gotten offended.

• Maybe you should have considered your food choice more carefully.
  If you decided to bring your own food, maybe you could have made a vegan meal or at least hid the tuna or any other obvious animal products from plain sight. If the bride didn’t see that, she probably wouldn’t have had such a strong reaction.

• You should have discussed it in more detail before the wedding.
  It’s great that you talked with your brother about it beforehand, but it would’ve been even better if you included his wife in the discussion too. You could have turned it all into something fun with all 3 of you exchanging ideas and recipes, and coming up with something that’s okay for all of you. Maybe your sister-in-law would feel less angry if you had consulted her as well.

• Imagine the opposite situation.
  For example, being a gluten- and dairy-intolerant vegan at an event where only animal-based products are served. We are sure that many people end up in these situations, but still shy away from bringing their own food with them.

• The couple could have put a bit more effort into catering to your specific needs.
  We believe that if you had been more specific about your diet, the couple would’ve put more effort into catering to your needs. For example, if you had asked them to provide a certain type of salad or a side dish just for you, they probably would’ve been willing to hear you out and make a special vegan meal menu for you.

• Some people take their diet very seriously.
  And we don’t always have to agree with their choices, but we should be able to show respect, especially on a special occasion like a wedding day. Remember that for many vegans, fish is equally taboo as any other meat. Even honey and any products containing traces of dairy are off-limits for some vegans.

• There are plenty of tasty and safe vegan options, even for allergic people out there.
  A lot of vegans have food allergies, yet they manage to keep up with their chosen nutrition style without putting their health at risk. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a tasty vegan dish nowadays that will satisfy all of your health requirements.

• Finding the middle ground is the key.
  We are on your side, but we can also understand why the bride got so upset. She shouldn’t have reacted with so much anger, and we think that not talking to you and ignoring you since then is unreasonable. But we also think that you should have taken the whole vegan theme more seriously. Perhaps talking to her, apologizing, and going over the situation one more time would bring you closer together.

Have you ever been in a similar situation and, if so, how would you resolve the issue? We’d love to hear your thoughts.