12 People Who Finally Put Their Own Needs First

Some people just can't say "no." When life forces them into tough situations and "no" becomes their only option, they often realize they should have prioritized themselves much earlier. Even those we consider closest to us can have motives we’re unaware of.

• "Months after going on a single date with a woman, she calls me on Christmas Eve while I'm at work to introduce me to her family over the phone as her boyfriend. The one date we had was dinner at a restaurant (she didn't order anything, just kept eating my fries) and then watching TV back at her place.
  Nothing happened, and the date ended with a handshake. When I responded that we were not a couple, she started freaking out and crying about how horrible I was for breaking up with her on Christmas Eve." © Unknown author / Reddit
• "I worked at a call center. We didn't have names there, other than just when you introduced yourself to the client. To the management, we were numbers. The quality reports, the break control sheets, in everything we were identified by our number, not by our name.
  One day my boss summoned me. A client that I had helped a few weeks before took the time to write to the company (it was a big, big company) praising my job. I was given a copy of the compliment.
  Where the client put my name, they scratched it and wrote my number. I turned my resignation the next day." © mpmm83 / Reddit
• I used to lend money to my best friend, who never paid me back. Every time she asked, I convinced myself I was just “helping out” and that she’d do the same for me one day. I hadn’t heard from her for a week, and I started to worry. Turns out, she was off in Paris with a mutual friend she’d always claimed to dislike.
  That’s when I realized she didn’t just take my money. She took my trust and the energy I kept giving her. While she was out enjoying life, I was here struggling to keep up. I knew then that it was time to stop waiting for her to care.

• My ex started having less friends and wanted me to do the same. Whenever I spent time without her, she would get moody. She said she was just scared that someone better would take me away. She'd say that he had nothing to live for without me.
  The last straw was when she showed up at my friend’s place uninvited, just to “check” if I was really there. I had told her I needed to spend the evening with my friends I hadn’t seen in a while. But she couldn’t handle it.
  On the way home, she cried and said I didn’t love her enough. That if I did, I wouldn’t need anyone else. I didn't want to disappear just to keep her whole, so I left.
• "For 3 weeks, I daily asked my boss to make a decision about a job, as I wasn't authorized to decide on and order the specific products. I had the pricing, construction methods, lead times, job specs etc. in a folder. I told him point-blank about 6 times that if it wasn't ordered, we would not get the job done on time.
  One day he comes out onto the floor and says, have you ordered that thing yet, and I said. “The folder is on your desk and I have asked you every day for 3 weeks to make a decision.” He yelled and screamed in front of everyone on the floor.
  I had 2 hours of work left for the day, so I packed my tools and left at the end of the day. No phone call, no email, I just never showed up again. They called and called. I never answered." © DingusMc***kstain / Reddit
• "I had just gotten out of the hospital, my best friend from across the country came to stay with us for a few days while I was getting better. I had meningitis. One night, my friend and I were talking about it, and he says, “Stop talking about it. You weren’t THAT sick.”
  It was the last straw. Being invalidated about almost losing your life to an illness is not love." © ogmoonchild / Reddit

• I’ve always been the go-to person in my family, the one who handles everything and puts everyone else’s needs before mine. After doing this for so long, I finally realized I’d completely lost myself in the process and wasn’t living my own life anymore.
  Last year, I decided not to host Thanksgiving and told my family about it. My mother-in-law was really upset and asked, “Is it that you don’t love us enough anymore?” I told them I needed time to recharge. It wasn’t easy, but I knew it was the right thing to do for myself.
• I’ve been working as a nanny while juggling my studies, always trying to help out as much as I could. The mom would constantly ask me to stay late or do extra tasks, even when I had assignments to finish. I kept saying yes because I didn’t want to let her down. But after a while, it started to feel like I was being taken advantage of.
  One evening, she asked me to stay late again, even though I had a big exam the next day. When I told her I needed to leave on time to study, she tried to guilt-trip me into putting her needs ahead of mine. That was the turning point. I finished my shift and never returned her calls after that. It felt like a weight lifted off me.
• I had been working non-stop at my job for years, staying late, taking on extra projects, and doing everything I could to impress my boss. I kept telling myself that if I just worked hard enough, the recognition would come.
  But about a month ago, a colleague who barely did anything extra got promoted over me. I was frustrated, but honestly, what hit me harder was how completely drained I felt. I’d given so much of myself to this job that I didn’t even know where my own life had gone. I needed a fresh start, so I handed in my resignation the following week.

• I spent years in a relationship where I always put my partner first. Whenever he needed something, I was there. But when it came to my own dreams or struggles, it felt like I was always pushed aside.
  The day he got a promotion, something changed. I’d been there for him through everything, sacrificing my own time and energy, yet he celebrated his success with friends, while I was stuck at home, exhausted and feeling invisible.
  That was the moment I realized I couldn’t keep waiting for him to see me or value what I was doing. I packed my things and left. I knew it was the only way I could start living for myself again.
• "I used to be a photographer, did weddings as well. There was one couple I met up with, and the guy clearly wanted to be anywhere else. He wasn’t interested in the wedding, in the bride, anything at all for that matter, and never provided any input besides an occasional groan.
  The bride was trying to compensate this with overenthusiasm, but it was clear that she felt really awkward about it. A week later, she messaged to let me know the wedding was called off." © savage*** / Reddit
• I had a friend who was always overly dependent on me, texting and calling several times a day. One day, I was struggling and just didn’t have the energy to engage, so I chose to ignore her messages. Somehow, she decided to call the police, claiming she hadn’t heard from me and thought I was missing. It was an incredibly awkward and unexpected situation to deal with.

It’s great to care about others, but when you constantly ignore your own needs, it can lead to stress and unhealthy people-pleasing. Read this article to find out if you might be a people pleaser and how to break the habit.