12 Subtle Cues That May Show You What Your Partner Is Truly Like

It's hard to know what someone is truly like without spending an eternity getting to know them. As a woman, you might want to know what you're getting into when you chose to date someone. This is because you don't want to find out that they're not what you expected a year down the line.

There is a way to tell if there's something that should concern you. And you can definitely pick up on certain traits or behaviors early on. Here is a list of 12 subtle cues you can use to see what a man is really like.

1. He is disrespectful to others.

Respect is something that we all learn early in life. So if a man is disrespectful to you or others, it’s a major red flag. It could be that he dismissed the waiter at a restaurant. Or that he was rude to another driver. Maybe he even ignored you or a friend while you were speaking.

These are all signs of a disrespectful person, and it’s one of the first things you should look out for if you’re trying to find out what he’s really like.

2. He shows no empathy.

Before we can dive into this problem, we need to understand what empathy is. Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of other people and sometimes share in them. When a man tends to dismiss other people’s feelings and experiences, it means he lack empathy, and that can be a problem.

A person who doesn’t feel empathy toward others can be dismissive and cruel. And the first sign of this often comes in the form of a lack of interest in other people. If your partner man has no empathy, it’s a major red flag.

3. He tends to be dishonest.

You might be asking yourself how you can know whether a man is being honest with you or not. The thing is that most people have a tell. If you realize that he’s doing something specific every time you think he’s lying, you’re probably right.

And then there are the dead give-aways like hiding the content of his phone or getting upset when you ask about certain things. A dishonest partner is a definite problem that should be avoided if you don’t want to get your heart broken.

4. He is a bad listener.

There is a stereotype about men not listening to anything a woman has to say. But that actually isn’t true. If a person cares about you and wants to be with you, they will absorb every word that comes out of your mouth.

So when your partner does fit the stereotype, you know that it’s an instant red flag. The funny part of this is that they actually think you won’t realize. But then you ask a simple question, and they look like a deer caught in headlights.

5. He’s filled with negativity.

This is one of the biggest red flags there is. If a man is constantly negative without an underlying cause like a traumatic experience, you might want to call it quits. We all have our good days and our bad. We all have pasts we try to deal with. But this isn’t the type of negativity we’re talking about here.

What we mean is a constant negativity toward you or the relationship you’re in. If a partner thinks everything you do or say is wrong, run in the other direction.

6. He is the king of procrastination.

You have lazy people, hard-working people, and then you have the career procrastinator. If a person prefers to spend his life behind the TV or his PC, you’re in for one heck of a rollercoaster ride. There is nothing wrong with taking some time to deflate after a long day, but if it lasts the whole day long, it’s a massive problem.

People who do that tend to brush everything else in their life off. They’ll skip work and if they’re a freelancer they’ll blow their clients off. It may be hard to plan a future with them.

7. He always plays the victim.

We’ve all heard of people playing the victim. But there’s a difference between playing the victim and actually being a victim.

A man who plays the victim will never hold himself accountable for his actions. And when you bring something up that might be affecting you or your relationship, he will turn the entire thing around and blame you for not caring about his feelings. These people often talk about how everyone in their lives have ruined them. And you will be no exception.

8. He likes to show off.

Men love showing off to their friends. They love it even more when they can show a beautiful woman off. But when you start feeling like more of an object than a person, you know you have a problem. When you’re in a situation of being objectified, you will instantly feel it. This is because the way the two types of men show things off is very different.

A man who want to proudly show you off to his friends won’t leave your side. But a man who is objectifying you will bask in the glory and then leave you behind so he can mingle by himself.

9. He has a disregard for boundaries.

Boundaries are something we all start implementing when we get older. They are what we use to protect ourselves from things we’ve experienced in the past, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The problem comes in with a partner who can’t respect them. These types of men tend to set a lot of boundaries, but they will get upset if you put down boundaries of your own. They will insist that your boundaries are stupid and overstep them every time they get a chance.

10. He can't apologize.

We’ve looked at some big red flags so far, but this is by far the biggest. If a man can’t see what he has done wrong and apologize for it, he might be not ready for relationship.

There are people out there who won’t admit their faults to others, but at least they can admit them to themselves. Men like these don’t even understand that they have done something wrong. And the more time you spend trying to get them to understand why you feel their actions are wrong, the more you will be the bad guy in their eyes.

11. He's unable to express his emotions.

There are many reasons why men can’t express their emotions. One of those reasons is that they are brought up to be emotionless. The good thing is that most men can relearn this if they are with the right partner.

When they refuse to relearn this or insist that it isn’t an issue, the problems begin to arise. Men who refuse to open up to their partner have a tendency to say harsh things and cover it with the mask of being emotionless.

12. He doesn't take initiative.

When a person refuses to take initiative in a relationship, it’s a sign that you don’t mean as much to him as you might think. For example, the game is more important to him than a dinner date.

This kind of behavior can lead to trust issues and over time it starts breaking down the relationship because the woman tends to feel like she’s a ’mother’ and her partner is a ’child.’

Bonus: When it’s lust, not love.

• It seems to be more physical: Sure, being attracted to your partner is important, but when that’s the only connection you have, it’s not love. Eventually, that intense attraction will start to fade, and without something deeper to hold you together, you might find yourselves drifting apart.
• Flaws become dealbreakers: When you’re caught up in the idealized image of your partner, their imperfections become impossible to accept. You expect perfection, and when that’s not what you get, it becomes a problem. But here’s the truth: you both have flaws, and if you can’t embrace that, there’s no real foundation for love.
• Things are moving too quickly: Lust has a way of speeding things up, while true love tends to unfold more slowly over time. If everything feels like it’s happening in a whirlwind, it might not be love.
• You’re running out of things to say: If all you really talk about is physical attraction, it’s a sign the connection is shallow. Without deeper conversations or shared interests, you’re not building anything lasting.
• You avoid addressing problems: Instead of confronting issues head-on, you bury them and move on, hoping they’ll disappear. But ignoring issues only weakens the relationship.
• The excitement fades fast: When the thrill of the initial spark dies down, you might realize there was no real emotional connection in the first place.
• You go days without talking: When communication becomes sparse, and you don't feel the need to check in, it’s clear your bond is only surface-level. Without emotional depth, there’s no desire to stay connected.

Red flags aren't the only things to look out for in a relationship. Your experiences also play a crucial role. You need to make sure it's love and not just lust.