15+ People Whose Doctor’s Visit Ended With an Unexpected Story

A hospital is a real theater of the absurd. Long queues, strange appointments and mixed up offices — everyone has their own story about going to a doctor. The heroes of this article didn’t expect their visit to the doctor to turn into a comedy sketch, but that’s exactly what happened.

• I went to my GP to get a referral to a surgeon. They appointed me only in the next month. I was about to leave, when the doctor shouted, “Wait, I’ll write you a prescription!” She gives me a piece of paper, and there’s the name of some cough medicine. I said, “I don’t have a cold.”
  And then I look at the piece of paper, and understand everything. There was an ad of the same medicine from the sponsor. I’m leaving, and the doctor is shouting to my back, “You’ll need it! You’ll catch a cold before you know it.”
• After the drops, my ear began to itch badly. I made an urgent appointment with an ENT. I walk into the doctor’s office, and there is a huge-bearded man, and he says, “Good day! Come in, my dear, sit on the chair. What’s troubling you: nose, ears, throat?”
  I was stunned from a reception like this! The doctor focused his eyes on me and said, “Oh, sorry! We’re having a children’s day today. I didn’t have time to switch. If I speak any other way, kids get freaked out!” I said I really enjoyed it, and we could continue.
• I came to go through a medical examination. I approached the office, there’s a long line, maybe 15 people. I asked, “Who’s the last one?” Silence. I ask again, silence again. Everyone’s in their phones or talking to each other.
  Okay, I loudly announce, “If there’s no one in the line, I’ll go first.” I stand at the door. A girl comes up and asks if there’s anyone behind me. I say, “No one.” And then the line suddenly came to life, everyone was buzzing, indignant.
  And I said to them, “Why didn’t you say anything when I asked?” In the end, I got in first. The girl followed me. And I still remember the moment, when the whole line is in shock, and I proudly walk into the office. © DimDimichs / Pikabu
• I felt really sick and decided to make a blood test. I went to a GP for a referral, and she suddenly asks, “Do you know how much this test costs to the healthcare system?” I was shocked.
  I said, “Well, I work, I pay taxes, I make regular deductions from my salary, including to the healthcare system. This is the first time I’m asking for something. I feel really sick.” But, apparently, the cost of my test was more important than my condition.

• Once I was sitting in a clinic waiting for my appointment. Suddenly, a woman with a child sits next to me. The child is so happy! He’s stretching his arms to me.
  Then the mom lets him walk a bit. And he comes over to me and starts playing. It was fun, but then his dad came in. There was a scandal.
  The man was sure that I was the child’s father, and his wife had brought me secretly to “get acquainted” with my son. They fought for about 5 minutes. And then he took the child and looked at me viciously and left. To be fair, the child did look like me. © Overheard / VK
• I was with a child in the clinic, and the pediatrician prescribed us a course of medication. We finished it and came to another appointment. But the doctor was different because the first one was on holiday.
  When the doctor found out what medication we used, he immediately became indignant, “You used the wrong medication! You should have bought other medicines!” I took a new prescription, and we left. And then my son said thoughtfully, “Mom, have you noticed that doctors prescribe us the medicines that are written on their coats?” © Chamber 6 / VK
• Recently I went through a medical examination. I entered the ECG room, and then I heard a familiar voice, “Oh, Maria, hello! Go behind the screen and take off your top.” I look, and it’s my former classmate!
  Well, what should I do? I had to lie down... Of course, he was just taking readings, the doctor made a conclusion, but I’m ashamed to this day. We finished school 5 years ago. But he probably told this story to all his friends. © Overheard / VK

• When I was about 7 years old, I went to the doctor’s office for some blood test and I acted all cool about it. Then when the doctor was about to sting the needle in my arm, she told me that it was going to sting a little and might hurt, and I was like, “Please I know pain, I train karate (which I really did back then).” Then the moment she stung the needle in, I started to cry and scream like a baby. © freshas***** / Reddit
• I was at a dentist’s office and went into the bathroom for a pre-brush. There were disposable toothbrushes in the bathroom wrapped in plastic to use. So I’m looking around for the toothpaste and see a ceramic dispenser in the shape of a tube of toothpaste, so I put some of the contents on the toothbrush.
  I start to brush my teeth and notice that the toothpaste tastes kinda funny, but then I think, “Hey, it’s a dentist’s office, they probably got some special toothpaste.” Turns out it wasn’t toothpaste, it was soap. So I had just accidentally brushed my teeth with soap. There’s now a sign letting you know there’s already toothpaste on the brush, you just have to add water. © cavityQED / Reddit
• When I was a school girl, I wasn’t afraid of dentists at all. Not because I was brave, but because I learnt how to use them to my advantage. When the most unloved, difficult or just a lesson to which I didn’t do my homework was first in the schedule, I would go to the dental clinic for examination.
  The doctor would, of course, say that my teeth were fine, and then I would ask for a certificate for school to prove that I skipped the lesson for medical reasons. I skipped lessons like this for 11 years. And it worked! © Overheard / VK

• I went to the clinic to see an ophthalmologist, but for some reason they sent me to a proctologist as well. I asked the receptionist what for. And she said, “Young man, this is no joke! In your body, everything is connected.”
  I laughed all day. I never went to the doctor. I had my eyesight checked at the nearest optical shop and bought lenses there. © Overheard / VK
• I often forget to wear a bra, it’s more comfortable without it. Came to the clinic with a cough, and got to a new therapist. A young guy. My first thought, “I wish he hadn’t listened to my lungs from the front.”
  I enter and there’s a girl in a white coat with an angry face standing at the door. It turned out it was his jealous girlfriend who came in to supervise the process. The doctor waved at her, asking her to leave, and apologized to me. Then he started listening to my lungs, asked me to turn round.
  I had no choice. As soon as I turned round, by the law of the genre, she stormed in. She almost jumped at me! The doctor covered me, but he looked so unhappy that I even felt sorry for him. © Overheard / VK
• Completely passed out at the dentist’s once. During my appointment, she was apparently talking to me and trying to get me to angle my head while she worked, but I was out cold. She had to keep stopping to move my head.
  When I woke up, I had drooled everywhere. But I was quite rested. © KinotoUpInDisBeeotch / Reddit
• I can’t stand clinics. Once I was sitting in a long line there, lost in my phone, when suddenly a cute old lady sat down next to me.
  We started talking, and 2 hours flew by unnoticed. She told stories, walked with me around the offices, laughed at my jokes. I’m 18 and she’s 82. Now I like clinics a little more. © Overheard / VK

• I got sick and decided to go to the clinic. Before that, I found my mother’s expensive body milk with particles of either a diamond or another gemstone, so in the sun I sparkled and shimmered. Pale, I’m sitting in the clinic.
  Then the sun peeks out, and I see the bulging eyes of the girl who was sitting in front of me. I didn’t realize it at first, but later I overheard her talking to her friend. She thought I was a vampire. © Overheard / VK
• The last time I was at my doctor’s office, I was kept waiting in the exam room for a really long time. Like long enough to go through all 3 magazines in the room. Eventually, severe boredom set in, and I started looking for other things to do.
  There was a scale in the corner, so I thought, “What the hell? Let’s weigh something.” I started with my shoes, and eventually moved on to the magazines and my clothes. When I ran out of personal stuff, I surveyed the room and decided that I would like to know how much a chair weighs, so on the scale it went.
  This is the exact moment the doctor and her resident decide to enter the room. There I am wearing nothing but a hospital gown and socks, balancing a chair on the scale... By the way, a doctor’s office chair weighs 8 pounds. © linds360 / Reddit

• My doctor googled “ribs” to show me a diagram to help explain what was wrong with me (costochondritis). He burst out laughing and turned the monitor to show me a bunch of pics of barbecued ribs. Then he googled “diagram of ribs.” © velvetelevator / Reddit
• When I was about 5 years old, my grandmother took me to the clinic to take a finger prick blood test. Our turn came up. I did everything, but cried a lot.
  And then suddenly a strange boy approached me and hugged me. It was so nice that I immediately stopped crying. © Overheard / VK
• I have an autoimmune disease that causes excessive fatigue all day, every day. After seeing 2 specialists and getting no answers, my PCP at the time said, “With how much you’re sleeping, I think I have to break it to you that you’re a cat.” It wasn’t laugh out loud hilarious, but it was funny how serious she was in delivering that news. © rarestereocats / Reddit
• I was getting a pelvic exam at the OB/GYN. My feet were up in the stirrups, the examination was fully on track. And suddenly the door opens. I’m in a panic, the doctor is in shock because there is a pizza delivery guy standing in the doorway.
  Apparently, the nurses had ordered a pizza and directed the guy to bring it to the break room, but he opened the wrong door. You’d think at an OB/GYN you’d at least knock before entering any closed rooms, right? Yeah, no. He couldn’t have seen anything, though, and I’m pretty sure he was more embarrassed than I was. © betti_cola / Reddit

And here are awkward doctor moments that feel scripted for sitcom scenes.