I Asked My Colleague to Wear Deodorant, and Things Blew Up With HR

Sometimes, trying to be helpful at work can backfire in ways you never imagined. That’s exactly what happened to me when I tried to address what I thought was a small issue and ended up with HR stepping in.

The awkward situation began here:

Hi Bright Side! I’ve run into an incredibly awkward office situation and need some advice. I work at a mid-sized company, and until recently, everything was running smoothly. But then a new coworker joined our team.

Almost immediately, I noticed a strong body odor whenever he was around. At first, I thought it might have been a one-time thing, but it kept happening. Others seemed to notice too. You could see people subtly shifting away, but no one said anything.

I tried to be polite about it.

After a week of quietly dealing with it, I decided to say something in a friendly way. I figured if I were in his shoes, I’d want someone to mention it, so during a quiet moment, I said, “Hey, I hope this isn’t awkward, but maybe try using deodorant? It gets pretty warm in here, and I thought it might help.”

I expected him to take it as a friendly heads-up, but instead, he shook his head and said, “I don’t remember asking for your opinion on that.” I just nodded and tried to let it go, but I could tell he was upset.

HR got involved.

The next morning, I checked my inbox and felt my stomach drop. I’m not sure what he did, but there was an email from HR saying: “HR requests you attend a private meeting to discuss creating an inclusive workplace environment.”

I went in and they greeted me politely, but their tone felt sharp. They reminded me of company policies and said I should “be mindful not to comment on coworkers’ personal hygiene in the future.” It wasn’t an explicit caution, but the message was clear. One more slip, and things could get serious.

Now things are tense.

My coworker has barely spoken to me since. I feel like I tried to handle the situation as respectfully as possible, but now I’m the one being seen as insensitive. The awkwardness has even spread to the rest of the team.

Honestly, I don’t think I should have had to stay silent. The smell was really noticeable, and I don’t understand why I wouldn’t be allowed to comment on something that affects everyone around us. Did I really cross a line here? Should I apologize, or just let it go and hope things cool down?

Hi there! Thanks for opening up and sharing your story with us. It’s definitely a tough spot to be in, and we understand how stressful it must feel to work under these circumstances. Here are a few tips that might help you move forward and handle similar situations more smoothly in the future:

• Let HR handle it next time. If something like this happens again, discreetly flag it to HR instead of approaching the person directly. It keeps you out of the firing line.
• Don’t over-apologize now. A quick, casual “Hey, sorry if I came off wrong the other day” is fine, but don’t grovel; it’ll only make the tension worse.
• Act normal. The more you act like nothing happened, the quicker everyone else will too. Office awkwardness only lingers if you feed it.
• Remember, HR’s email protects everyone. Even though it felt aimed at you, these “general reminders” are a way to keep the peace without calling anyone out directly.

This situation feels huge right now, but give it a few weeks and something else will steal the spotlight. Offices move on quickly. Following these steps can help you handle workplace issues calmly and clearly while reducing the chance of confusion or conflict.

If you think you’ve seen awkward interviews, wait until you read the story of this candidate who had a 99% chance of getting the job until one mistake cost him everything.