I Canceled My Sister’s Free Childcare—Her Cruel Words Cost Her My Support

There comes a time in life when you might wonder if your family is taking advantage of you. It could be something small, as a word said out of context, or it could be a massive sign of disrespect. In that case, you need to decide how you’re going to proceed. One of our readers shared her experience.

This is April’s story.

Dear Bright Side,

When we were young, my sister and I were very close, and that didn’t change over the years, or at least that was what I thought. So when she had kids and asked me to babysit them, there was no doubt in my mind, I immediately agreed.

So I’ve been my sister’s free babysitter for the last 5 years and I never second-guessed my decision. I love the kids and want to spend as much time with them as I can. So every weekend or any time my sister called and said there was an emergency, I was there.

Last week, my sister asked me to watch the kids for 2 weeks while she went on vacation to Hawaii with her husband. She said that their anniversary was coming up, and her husband wanted to treat her with a special trip, so of course I agreed.

But while watching the kids yesterday, I overheard my sister and her husband talking. I gasped when she started gasping and told her husband, “Anyway, my sister has always done what I told her to. She’s like a little lapdog that will do anything to get my affection, even though I feel nothing for her.”

But she didn’t stop there. She continued with, “I think she’s taking care of the kids to compensate for her terrible love life.” I was shocked and hurt. I couldn’t believe that my sister saw me like that or that she would say such cruel things about me.

So I stepped out and told my sister that if she saw me as such a burden, she could find someone else to look after her kids while she’s in Hawaii. I left after that, but I’ve been receiving constant calls and messages from her saying she would start compensating me if I just stuck to the plan.

So Bright Side, what is your opinion? Should I look after my sister’s kids and demand compensation? Or should I let her sort this issue out on her own?

Regards,
April K.

Some advice from our Editorial team.

Dear April,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.

Don’t go back, not even for money, because the issue here isn’t compensation, it’s contempt. You didn’t overhear a moment of stress or a badly worded joke. You overheard a long-held belief that your sister sees your loyalty, availability, and love as weaknesses she can exploit.

If you stay now, even with pay, you reinforce exactly what she said about you, that she can demean you privately and still rely on you publicly. Walking away mid-plan was the right move because it finally disrupted a dynamic that’s been one-sided for five years.

Let her handle childcare on her own, not to punish the kids, but to force a boundary that should have existed long ago.

If you ever choose to help again in the future, it should only be after a genuine apology that acknowledges what she said, not excuses it. And after you redefine your role as an aunt, not an unpaid on-call employee desperate for approval.

April never expected to hear those things coming from her sister, but now that she did, she needed to decide if she was willing to lose the relationship with her sister and the kids because of it.

She isn’t the only one with family struggles, though. Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience. You can read the full story here: I Chose to Be Childfree, but Suddenly Became a Mom—And Now I’m Trapped.