I Cancelled My Wedding Because Our Guests Ignored My Only Request

Organizing a wedding often stirs up intense conversations, and the topic of kids is especially delicate. Claire came to us seeking guidance after she chose to call off her wedding. The reason? Her mother-in-law and other family members were unwilling to follow a single request she had made.

Here’s a letter she sent us:

Thank you for opening up, Claire! We know this situation is really challenging for you, and we’re here to provide support and guidance.

Try reaching out with a calm message.

After you’ve had a chance to process, consider sending a calm, heartfelt message to the family. Acknowledge that you didn’t intend to offend or create tension but were trying to do what’s best for your son’s health.

You might say something like, “I know everyone wants to celebrate this special day with us, and I’m grateful for that. However, my son’s health is fragile, and I wanted to make sure we kept him safe.” Reassure them that your intention was not to exclude anyone or imply distrust—it was simply a safety measure.

Have an open conversation with your mother-in-law.

When things calm down, it could help to reach out to your mother-in-law privately to explain your perspective. Share how much you care about becoming part of the family and want to build positive relationships, but that your son’s health is a priority that needs consideration. Emphasize that this decision wasn’t a reflection of your trust in anyone, but rather a necessity given his condition.

Offering this clarification might help her see where you were coming from, and maybe, over time, ease any tensions that arose. It’s possible she reacted out of protectiveness for her family, and a one-on-one conversation could help bridge the gap.

Prioritize your son’s well-being.

At the end of the day, your son’s health and well-being are essential, and it’s okay to put that first. Make it clear that you aren’t willing to compromise his health, and it’s a priority you’re setting not only as his parent but as a new family with your partner.

Staying true to this commitment might be hard, but it also sets a strong foundation for your family’s values. Over time, those who respect your priorities will come to understand why this was so important to you. Be kind to yourself during this process, and trust that you did what you felt was necessary for your family.

Find another way to celebrate.

While canceling was hard, it doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to celebrate your marriage when the timing feels right. You could consider a smaller, private ceremony with just your partner and son, focused on celebrating together without the stress of family opinions.

Down the road, once emotions settle, you might hold a relaxed reception or gathering with family. This way, you protect your son’s health while keeping the option open to celebrate with others when the situation feels right. It’s your wedding, and you should be able to enjoy it in a way that brings joy, not stress.

Creating a positive relationship with a mother-in-law can be really challenging. One reader shared her experience where her mother-in-law continued to serve her kids a vegan diet, even though it was causing them health issues.