I Found My Dad on a Dating App, His Excuse Left Me Speechless

What would you do if you stumbled upon your dad’s profile on a dating app, only to hear him blame your mom for his secret online life? One young woman faced this jaw-dropping discovery and the shocking excuse that followed, leaving her questioning everything about her family. Here’s her story, and what she’s asking Bright Side for help with.

The Letter

Hi Bright Side,

I was scrolling through a dating app one evening, just joking around, when my heart nearly stopped. There, in plain sight, was my dad’s profile—his real name, photos, everything.

My parents have been married for 25 years, and the last thing I expected was to find my dad looking for dates online.

When I confronted him, instead of denying or apologizing, he had the audacity to say:

“It’s not what you think. Your mom and I have been distant for years—she’s always busy or distracted, and I feel invisible in my own home. I’m not cheating; I just needed to feel seen somewhere else.”

He said he never contacted anyone and had no plans to meet up with anyone, but that the app made him feel noticed again.

I don’t know what to feel. Is it betrayal? Sadness? Anger that he blamed my mom instead of taking responsibility?

Should I tell my mom? Should I try to forgive? Or is this a sign that our family is breaking?

Please, advise.
—Lena

Supportive Pieces of Advice for Lena

• Your feelings are valid, it’s okay to feel confused and hurt.
  Discovering a parent on a dating app unexpectedly is a shock that can shake your trust and security. It’s perfectly normal to feel betrayed or sad, so give yourself permission to process those emotions.
• His excuse deflects responsibility and avoids the real issues.
  Blaming your mom for distance or invisibility in the marriage is unfair and doesn’t justify his secret online presence. Healthy relationships require honesty and accountability from both partners.

• Reflect on your role and boundaries within this family drama.
  You are not responsible for fixing your parents’ relationship or mediating their conflicts. Focus on your well-being, and decide what boundaries you need to maintain your peace.
• Think carefully about telling your mom; timing and approach matter.
  Honesty is important, but revealing this news could cause pain and upheaval. If you choose to tell her, prepare yourself emotionally and consider seeking support from a counselor or trusted person beforehand.

• Seek outside support to process your feelings.
  Talking to a therapist or close friend can help you sort through your emotions and plan your next steps without feeling alone or overwhelmed.

Before you go, check out our next article exploring the heartbreaking reason that might be behind Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom’s breakup after nine years together. While the exact details aren’t clear, the story sheds light on the challenges they faced and why things didn’t work out.