I Hired a Single Mom to Clean, Gave Her a Generous Tip, and Now She’s Done Me Dirty

We got a letter from a woman who wanted to help a friend’s mom by hiring her for a cleaning job. But things quickly took an awkward turn when gratitude turned into a sales pitch. What happens when kindness crosses the line?

The letter.

Hi Bright Side,

I recently hired my son’s friend, Lisa’s mom, to clean my house. She’s a single mom who cleans homes for a living, so I thought I’d help her out. On the day she came over, she started talking about her financial struggles, and I honestly felt for her, so I gave her a big tip.

A few days later, I was caught off guard when I saw her trying to sell my luxury skincare products. I was taken aback, not because she was trying to make extra money, but because it felt like a bit of an overstep. I understand that she’s trying to make ends meet, but I didn’t expect her to mix our professional arrangement with personal sales. I was left wondering if I had somehow given the wrong impression, and it made me feel uncomfortable. Now, I’m unsure how to address the situation without causing any awkwardness.

What should I do now? Any advice?

Best,

Anna

What we advise.

• Recognize when helping turns into manipulation.
  It’s always nice to help others, especially when you see them struggling, but it’s also important to recognize when that kindness might be used to gain something. Offering a tip was a great gesture, but when someone then tries to take advantage of you, it can be uncomfortable. You were kind, but you’re not obligated to let it slide because of that kindness. Set boundaries gently, but firmly, if this happens again.
• Communicate your discomfort calmly.
  You’re feeling uneasy, and that’s valid. If Lisa’s mom’s sales tactics made you uncomfortable, it’s okay to have an open conversation with her. Something like, “I’m happy to support you, but I do not encourage such behavior,” can stop any further attempts without damaging your relationship. You have every right to say no without guilt.

• Don’t let guilt dictate your decisions.
  You gave the tip out of kindness, not because you expected to give more. It’s important to remember that your generosity should come from a place of compassion, not obligation. Guilt often clouds our judgment, but you are not obligated to give away something just because they’ve provided a service or because they’re going through tough times.
• Offer support in ways that feel comfortable for you.
  If Lisa’s mom is truly struggling financially, maybe there are other ways you can help. Perhaps you could recommend her services to others or offer help in a non-financial way, like sharing job opportunities or even giving her advice on running a small business. Giving her a tip or buying from her is just one way to support her, but if that doesn’t sit right with you, look for other opportunities to help that feel better aligned with your values.

• Recognize your own boundaries and stick to them.
  The line between kindness and exploitation can blur, especially when you care about someone. When you feel like someone is overstepping, trust your instincts and set those boundaries. Don’t be afraid to be clear about your own needs and wants, even if it means saying “no.” Your peace of mind is important, and it’s okay to protect it.

Before you go, be sure to check out our next article on 7 subtle ways your body might be signaling that you have liver cancer. Understanding these early warning signs could make all the difference, so don’t miss this important read on recognizing potential health risks before it’s too late.