Dating can be really challenging because you never know what kind of person you'll encounter. Every decision matters, and it can be challenging to know the right path to take. In today's story, showing up late was the final dealbreaker on a first date.
I had a first date planned with a woman I met online. We decided to meet for coffee at 2 pm. I got there right on time. At 2:10, she texted me to ask if I was already at the café. I replied yes, and she then told me she was still at home but would leave shortly and be there in about 20 minutes.
Her message made it clear she wanted to make sure I was there before leaving her house. This really put me off. I took the chance and showed up on time, so shouldn't she have done the same? Am I wrong to feel this way?
I finished my coffee and left at 2:30 since she still hadn't shown up. At 2:45, she texted me asking where I was. I replied, "I finished my coffee and left at 2:30 when you still hadn't arrived as promised." She sent a series of angry texts, accusing me of being awful and doing everything wrong, saying I should have texted her before leaving.
Do women really expect men to wait 45 minutes for them to show up late when the delay seems intentional? It felt like a game or a test to me. Either way, she didn't pass my test. I'd love to hear from women on this.
Women do not all do or feel the same about things... So, "do women . . .?" puts half the population into "sameness".. Do all men feel that way? I would guess that some or many or most do. Others might not much care, some might even be angry. However, I think women are as different as are men. Change all the "she" to "he". It is simply people. We women may encourage a bit of mystery, but it is personal decision and makes life a bit more interesting and/or fun. Just show -- and expect -- consideration and respect; avoid investing time and feeling in those who do not.
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"You were very gracious to stay as long as you did. You were on time. She deliberately wasted your time. Hold your head high. The fault is all with her." imnotk8 / Reddit
"It would have been one thing if she was unexpectedly delayed by circumstances beyond her control, but she wanted to make sure you were already there before she left her house. She essentially told you that her time was more valuable than yours. Rude on her part." DuckosFavorite / Reddit
"You dodged a bullet and held your frame. You should tell her how entitled she sounds, and that she needs to do better. Then block her." earthwalker7 / Reddit
"She was completely out of line. You were good to wait as long as you did. Texting when she was still home would have been enough for me." JoneseyP98 / Reddit
"You wouldn't be the first person she's treated this way. She probably gets away with this behavior in other contexts, too. Good on you for respecting yourself and your time." rumncoco86 / Reddit
"She is out of her mind, thinking she has any room or right to say you’re in the wrong. I’m mind blown she would tell you she hadn’t even left the house like that’s not embarrassing. She managed to save you a LOT of time by wasting your time on that first date, though. Better to find out early what she’s like." SkilletKitten / Reddit
"I'm a woman and I would have left too. People who are chronically late are selfish because they think no one else's time matters." Caspian4136 / Reddit
"It’s one thing to text and say “I’m sorry I’m running late” and then arrive at a reasonable time (10 to 15 minutes late). It’s completely different, to text twice and show up 45 minutes late. You gave her more than a reasonable amount of time to show up. She didn’t apologize. Her response was out of line, sending you nasty texts blaming you for doing things wrong. She sounds entitled." No-Alarm-2208 / Reddit
"Yeah, and this doesn't have to do with gender, just about being a rude person. I've had guys pull the same thing." SeasonPositive6771 / Reddit
"Embarrassed to say I am chronically late, but I always give as much notice as possible. Like if I know I am going to be 15 min before the time, I will tell you then. Not as considerate as being on time, but it is progress." mnth241 / Reddit
First dates can be really nerve-wracking. You want to make a good impression and avoid doing or saying anything awkward. But sometimes, you realize your date just isn’t worth your time. Here are stories from 14 people about their absolute worst first dates.
