I Recycled My Bridal Gown for My SIL’s Wedding—My MIL’s Reaction Shocked Me

We all want to look our best when it comes to public events like weddings. But what happens when there's a theme in place and budget is tight? This is exactly the case with one of our readers who wrote to us for advice, when she recycled her bridal gown for her sister-in-law's wedding, only to be confronted by her MIL.

I wore my wedding dress at my husband's suggestion.

My SIL was planning a grand, fairytale wedding. She and her groom, a great guy, wanted it to be this enchanting affair, with everyone dressed up like they stepped out of a fairytale. The theme was silver and white. They wanted everyone to look right out of Disney movies. I was so happy to be part of it, as I just got married six months ago.

With our wedding, and the fact that I had been laid-off, money was tight. I couldn’t afford a new dress, so my husband suggested I should restyle my bridal gown. Given he was the brother of the bride, it sounded like a fantastic idea. I even checked with my SIL if she was okay with it. She agreed, telling to make sure I didn’t look like a bride. I thought it was very generous of her.

I restyled my bridal gown, aiming for a fairy godmother look.

My bridal gown was stunning with lots of tulle that had made feel like a princess on my wedding day. I couldn’t alter the dress, but I took off my detachable sleeves, so it became more of a strappy gown.

I donned a silver belt, added on wings, and even carried a silver wand, matched to heels I already had. To tone it down further, I kept my makeup minimal, and wore my hair loose. When I entered the arena, a few of the guests gasped. Some even came up to my and raved about my dress, and how stunning I looked. Everyone loved it, but my MIL pulled me aside, and told me that my SIL was very upset with me.

She said, “I was overshadowing the bride.”

Frankly, that’s not possible. Sure, I looked good, but my SIL was radiant in a pale pink dress, the only color guests had been asked to avoid. My MIL insisted that I should go home and change, so I went to my SIL and asked her if my dress was a problem. She tried to say it wasn’t, but clearly, she didn’t like what I was wearing. By now, the wedding was over, so I simply went home, not wanting to pull my husband away from his family, or create an unnecessary scene.

This angered my husband, as he felt I should have come to him before “stalking off.” Honestly, though, I’m not a fan of fights, so I just went home to avoid any drama. Was I wrong in what I did?

I need advice from you, Bright Side!

Hannah

We feel you, Hannah. Clearly, the situation was not of your creation, but sometimes things do get tense in familial relationships, and it's best to take a step back to avoid the matter getting out of hand. We laud you for keeping a cool head, and this is what we think you can do to sort out the situation.

• Have an honest talk with husband: While he may be a little irritated with you for not telling him before you left, we are sure he will understand your POV. Tell him how you did not want to pull attention from the wedding, given it was your SIL’s day. That said, since both your SIL and MIL seemed to have a problem with your outfit, leaving the venue seemed like the best option to you. Explain to him why you didn’t tell him, because you wanted his sister to have the best wedding, and not demand his attention as well.
• Talk to your MIL, and SIL, as a combined unit: If you, or husband or any of the family feel the situation needs to be defused, make sure you and your husband present a united front. Since you had you already spoken to your SIL and taken her permission to wear your wedding gown to her event, she should not have reacted to you getting complemented over it. Your MIL should have kept quiet as well, but since they didn’t, it’s time to point out where they wronged you. There might have been a miscommunication, so clear the air, and remember to be calm when you put your thoughts across.
• Help yourself and others to move on: Family arguments are normal, and if they are repaired quickly, it helps everyone to move forward and get on better footing. You need to let others know how their actions hurt or affected you, and encourage the same response from them as well. Communication is key and the earlier the resolution comes about, the quicker the healing begins.

Navigating relationships is a tricky business, be it family or friends. Sometimes, you have to put your foot down, just like this woman did, when she was dumped from her friend’s baby shower.