Family vacations are supposed to be about rest and connection, but sometimes boundaries get tested in the most surprising ways. One of our readers shared a shocking story about how her daughter-in-law tried to join a trip to Italy uninvited, with her child in tow. Her experience raises big questions about respect, entitlement, and where to draw the line in family relationships.
Hello Bright Side,
My husband and I had planned a trip to Italy, just the two of us. It was supposed to be our time to relax and enjoy each other’s company. Then my daughter-in-law called and asked if we could take her daughter with us. I told her no, because this trip was meant for us.
She didn’t argue right away. She just went quiet and said, “Noted.” I brushed it off at the time, thinking she was disappointed but accepted my answer.
A few weeks later, we were at the airport checking in for our flight. That’s when I nearly fainted. An hour before our flight, she called and asked where we were.
Then I saw her. Standing there in line was my daughter-in-law, holding her suitcase, and right beside her was my granddaughter with a little backpack. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “I thought I’d come along after all. We booked separate seats.”
I was stunned. My husband froze too. It felt like our boundaries had been trampled, and instead of asking again, she chose to bulldoze her way into our trip.
After a tense moment, I told her clearly that this was not acceptable and that she couldn’t just decide for us. My husband backed me up, and after a heated exchange, she finally left with our granddaughter, clearly angry.
It wasn’t the start to our trip I imagined, but I knew I couldn’t let her entitlement ruin something we had been looking forward to for months.
Now, we’re back from our vacation, but she won’t even speak to me. Normally, we would take care of our granddaughter during weekdays. She didn’t even call for it. Was I too harsh for standing my ground, or was I right to stop her from hijacking our vacation?
Sincerely,
Marie
Oh no. When she picks up the tab for everyone, she gets to be the decider. That is a boundary she should have never crossed. She may have picked up the air fare but she planned on you providing everything else, or she simply would have gone and gotten her own place, paid her own entrance fees and bought her own food. Wait her out. She will need something, they always do, and be back. Never let her define the narrative. I think she has done this more than you acknowledge.
It might seem easy to just be angry and move on, but if you never address it, she might think she can try again. Sit down calmly after the trip and explain how her actions crossed the line.
You can be direct without being cruel. Tell her it was disrespectful, disruptive, and unfair to put you in that position at the airport. Clear words set a tone that you won’t tolerate similar behavior again.
Family trips often come with assumptions, some people think “family” means everyone, all the time. To prevent repeat drama, lay out the rules in advance. For example, “If we’re planning a trip, we’ll let you know if it’s just us or if it’s meant to include others.”
This sounds simple, but it sets expectations. It shows you’re not shutting her out entirely, but that there are boundaries around your plans.
Moments like this can create tension between spouses if one is firm and the other caves. By showing your daughter-in-law that both you and your husband stand on the same page, she can’t play one of you against the other. It also reinforces that your decisions are joint, not just one person being “difficult.” A united front is harder to challenge.
Read how one woman decided enough was enough in “I Banned My DIL From Our Family Vacation After She Betrayed Me.” Would you have made the same call?
Where is the son (daughter-in-laws husband) in this story? Obviously he wasn't going on the trip either. Update, please!!!
