I Refuse to Forgive My Parents—They Bought My Brother a House and Left Me With ‘Sorry’

Siblings don’t grow up keeping tally — at least not consciously. We’re raised to believe love is equally shared, that parents don’t play favorites. But sometimes, adulthood reveals a harsher truth: “You’re strong, you’ll be fine” can become a quiet excuse for unequal love.

Today’s letter comes from someone who never asked for more — until she learned she’d been expected to live with less.

The letter:

Hi Dear Bright Side!

Growing up, my parents always said they treated us equally. But when my younger brother got married, they “surprised” him with a down payment for a house — $60,000. I found out through a photo on Facebook of them holding the keys together.

I wasn’t jealous at first... until my mom said, “You don’t need help — you’re the strong one.”

Funny how “being strong” meant getting nothing.

For years, I swallowed it. I kept renting, working, visiting them on holidays with a smile. But the distance grew. I stopped calling as often. Eventually, I skipped Thanksgiving. That’s when my mom noticed.

A year later, she showed up at my door with something I hadn’t seen in years — my old college diary. She said she’d found it while cleaning.

Inside were pages where I’d written about them — how grateful I was, how hard it was working nights and studying, but how I still tried to send them $20 whenever I could because I didn’t want them to worry.

She couldn’t hold back tears. “I thought you’d always be okay,” she said softly. “I forgot you’re human too.”

She didn’t bring money. She brought an apology.

And honestly... I didn’t realize how badly I needed that more than any house.

The Hidden Impact of Being “The Favorite Child” (Or Not).

Most parents would never openly admit they have a favorite child—but many families quietly feel it. A little extra hug here, a special snack there... these tiny differences can leave big marks on a child’s heart, even long into adulthood.

The truth about favoritism — It’s more common than we think:

Studies show that around 65% of families experience some form of parental favoritism, officially known as PDT: Parental Differential Treatment. It doesn’t always mean obvious gifts or praise. It can be subtle—more attention, softer rules, fewer scoldings.

And here’s the tricky part: it’s all about how a child feels. One sibling may swear there was favoritism, while another believes everything was equal. Even parents often have no idea they’re doing it.

How Favoritism Affects Us (Even When We’re Grown).

Feeling less favored can leave lasting emotional marks:

Lower self-esteem

Anxiety or depression

Risky behaviors or rebellion

Even unusual side effects—like a study linking favoritism to phone addiction in teens.

And it doesn’t stop at childhood. Adults who felt “less loved” may still struggle in their 40s, 50s, or beyond. Even siblings who were favored can carry guilt, pressure, or strained relationships.

Researchers in a long-term family study asked parents a bold question: “Which child are you most emotionally close to?”

A huge 75% of mothers picked one child.

You might expect it to be the eldest, but no—youngest children were often chosen. The strongest reason?
🧬 Parents feel closest to the child who reminds them most of themselves.

So why do parents favor one child?

Most don’t do it on purpose. It can happen because:

One child is easier to talk to

Shared personality or hobbies

A child needed more care at some stage

Old cultural habits (like “boys need bigger portions”)

Can we fix it?

Psychologists say honest, gentle conversations can heal decades of silent hurt. Parents can explain practical reasons: “I spent more time with your sister because she had health issues.” Children might realize... it wasn’t about love at all.

We can’t change the past, but we can change how we understand it. Because sometimes, the love we’ve been waiting for... is ours to give.

15 People Whose Transformations Were So Huge, Their Own Families Barely Recognized Them