This has always been the case for women in the workplace, but when men set boundaries they are more likely to get raises and promotions. Your job is creating a hostile work environment because they are sexist. I would get a lawyer. There is no job that is equal to or more important than your family. I'd start looking for a new position
Work can be exciting when new opportunities come along, but sometimes those opportunities come with hidden costs like longer hours, constant availability, and added pressure. Many people today are struggling to balance their careers with personal commitments, and the pressure to “give it all” at work can feel overwhelming.
Recently, one of our readers shared a letter about facing this exact dilemma and the unexpected way their company responded.
Dear Bright Side,
Hello.
Yesterday I (38F) got promoted at work. The extra pay isn’t worth the longer hours and the weekend calls I’d have to take. So I declined, saying, “Sorry, I have family obligations and cannot work extra.” HR just smiled politely. This morning, imagine my surprise when I came to the office and found a big sign on the wall—a slogan that said, “Treat your work as your family!”
We were all confused. But everybody froze when we received an email that said:
“Dear Team,
This is a reminder to put your work first. From today, any employee who treats their job as secondary will be replaced. This is not to create fear, but to remind you that your job deserves the same commitment you give your family.
Thank you,
Human Resources”
I immediately understood this was aimed at me for refusing the promotion because I didn’t want to give up more of my personal time.
Now I feel awkward, and I can sense the tension directed at me in the office.
Was I wrong to refuse the promotion and decline the extra responsibilities and hours?
Yours,
Tonia
That job isn't going to help you run errands, drop off/ pick up the kids from school, or pay your babysitters more because you listen to them and put work first. That's crazy, I'm surprised they don't ask extremely personal and invasive questions during the hiring process: " You plan on getting married, having kids? Cause that doesn't work for us. We're your family when you work here ."
Pretty sure that's not legal. I would be looking for employment somewhere else.
HR is creating a hostile work environment for you, which approaches harassment, which is not tolerated in the workplace. I would keep my options open regarding employment elsewhere.
HR,
Your salary increase doesn't compensate the extra demands being requested, however, I am open to discussing it further if you're willing to negotiate, otherwise, workplace retaliation is not only frowned upon but you can be held accountable legally, and you will be hearing from my lawyer should it continue.
Respectfully yours and still not accepting promotion,
My peace is priceless 😁
It would have clicked reply on the email and reply to HR...
" I DO respect my job like I respect my family but I don't exploit either one. Just a little bit of heads up-- the reason why I declined the promotion, it takes more time away from my family; I use my weekends for mental health rehab and family. I don't talk about my personal life.But this is relevant so I think you should know-- i have mental health issues called stress management; i managed quite well with medicine and other techniques, but if I took that promotion and I was forced to work more... That would.
Be the same thing as giving somebody with heart issues a stimulant, it would not be a good thing."
If the workplace actually bashing you because you rejecting it, then that "promotion" actually a TRAP 🪤. Congratulations on evading it.
We're all family here! Soooo, toxic, abusive, no boundaries and huge, glaring issues get swept under the rug in the name of keeping the peace. Got it!
Print a copy of the email and take it directly to your state labor board. Workplace intimidation is illegal in all states.
While your case works its way through the process, look for another job. Remember that if your employer does anything to retaliate (firing you, badmouthing you to prospective employers) is also illegal and could cost them 150% of your pay for at least 30 days whether or not you find new employment. If you're out of work for longer, the fines could be even higher.
Find a new job.... then take that slogan and the email....go into HR and tell them, effective immediately, I'm done and go f*** yourself....hard....in the a**.... zero lube.... and walk out!!!
My company demanded that I suddenly drive 2 hours into the office 3 days / week l, even though the employee agreement we negotiated when I was hired specified that I would only come into the office 1 day / week due to the distance. They insisted that this unilateral decision was non-negotiable. Instead of complying, I worked a deal with our supplier to move into a permanent contractor role that required them to pay me if they wanted me to come into the office. I contracted to the company for 7 years prior to becoming an employee and when I went back, I negotiated a much higher salary than I was making as an employee - and I have to go into the office 0 days / week. My family time is MUCH more important than loyalty to a billion-dollar mega corporation who showed me zero loyalty in return.
Nowadays more now than before the explosion of social media, it's hard to tell whether something is legit or just a way to accumulate clicks, views and comments: however, I'll chime in, and the reason for answering this post is to remind everyone that no matter what your company tells you: It isn't your family, unless your company IS yours or your family's. There's nothing that can force you either directly or indirectly to treat it as such. If what this company is alluding is true, you should start looking for other work, surreptitiously, soon. Good luck.
God first, family second, and everything else after
I dont know which country you are in, however in Australia that is illegal ,your employer and would find themselves under investigation. Sadly I suggest you look for another job. Easily said but very difficult given any future employer would ask about your work ethic etc. You could try bypassing HR and go straight to your employer.
Wow. I get that companies need their employees but nothing and I mean NOTHING ever comes before my family. Looking out for employees and seeing us as human beings is not uncalled for. It is uncalled for to.be treated the opposite. Just sayin'
Start looking for another job RFN!
What assholes! I'd start looking today. Screw those people in your office too!
Hello. I think this is absurd. Whatever your reasons your allowed to make choices about your life. It's called freedom. This so called HR needs taking down a peg or two, HR is about personnel meaning people maybe she missed that concept. I'm guessing she's young, inexperienced and has no life outside of work and wanting to force that ethic on others. Stand your ground I'd start looking for a better place to work and or ask to see her privately and question her about that notice and the fear concept. My best to you.
There is nothing to indicate the HR employee was a woman. It could just as easily be a man. The attitude of work coming first is also much more prevalent among older workers. Many young people are pushing back against the idea by saying we work to live, not live to work.
You should go to work somewhere else in the same field that you currently work in. Maybe a competitor of your current company. Because this type of manipulation won't go away. HR is more interested in protecting the company instead of the work force.
It's not easy to find jobs these days. I think she took the wrong decision
Maybe you should go apply. Im guessing you have a family you dont care to see and the energy for a second job.
Wrong decision, explain yourself? God should be first, then family, and every thing else after.
Not everyone believes in a person from a book of fairytales.
Imaginary sky daddy should never factor in before actual real family.
What's up with adults, fully grown adults, never settling into their feelings? The person clearly states a situation where they are basically being bullied for refusing to be paid less for their work (the raise wasnt worth it), and in the FACE OF PUBLIC DISRESPECT, STILL can't figure out if they "feel the right the thing". So if the boss slapped her, she'd need a second opinion on if it's assault or not? Like come on this gotta be satire
sounds like a lazy woman to me!! she should be thankful she got a job in the first place.
And you sound like a misogynistic asshole to me. Does mommy take care of you still?
I see we found a happy sl@ve
You're an asshole
Wow Skyler! You sound like you could be HR yourself.
Wow just wow!!! What a horrible man you are!!!
or girl lol..
Lazy is an easy slight to voice. You know nothing of her circumstances. Perhaps a time thinking before speaking would allow you to consider your responses.
Having children is a very full on job. You don't stop till the time you go to bed (work also nights) . Therefore if you had to work more hours then maybe you don't have time to cook healthy meals for your children(food education), take your children to lessons, help your children with their reading and homework and the domestic stuff like endless washing, cleaning...bla bla boring stuff.. Sometimes if you choose not to take on more hours often not because you don't want to further your career or do more hours, but because it too much with managing work and family or you prioritise your families needs. You are a person who was born from a women. She had to work hard and sacrifice changes during and after your birth, she may most likely raised you too, so at least have some respect. Additionally if you are angry at women because you are angry at your mother because you feel she was not good enough, get counselling and don't take it out on others, Thanks!
Perhaps she has so many family obligations because she has a lazy husband who only works at his job while she works at her job and at home.
Your HR is wrong to do that.
If the company has an actual HR department, they almost certainly didn't post the sign. More likely a local manager. One of HRs primary responsibilities is to make sure the company doesn't get sued, and this sign is the opposite of that.
If this happens to be a large company with a corporate HR, they should send a photo of the sign to them and ask if they really posted it.
Same like student work part time schedule for their study payment. But the workplace say they must take priority at work, not their study. You work for the sake of your family. If they keep threatening you, record everything and spread it to public.
Quit yesterday! If they try to elevate work above family it's a job that is not worth it!
Thank you for sharing this, Tonia.
Your story is striking because it’s not just about a promotion — it’s about your company trying to guilt you into putting them above your own life. That slogan and email are power moves meant to intimidate you, and your reaction is very human.
Here are four tips, each one tailored to your exact situation:
My dear sometimes the universe, God or whatever you believe gives us an warning . It maybe time for you to move on. Start looking for another job and don't whatever you don't tell anyone or put it out there on any of the social medias we use.
Make a sign that mimics theirs, same size, same font. Put it up in HR territory. “Treat your employee’s family like your business and job depends on it. It does.”
Despite the disappointments we may face in life, it’s important not to lose faith and to remember that kindness is what truly keeps us connected as humans.
Its hard to find jobs yes, but don't sacrifice yourself and your balance for a job that has no morals and threatens you to disappear from your family and only commit to your job. Everyone needs a work and home life balance. The people who comment with you should be happy with the promotion. You don't know this person's home life or how it change things for them. There's career driven and then there's people who appreciate the family life. Don't push beilfes onto people just because that's how you would live your life. Companies should understand the word no just like everyone else. People who have kids already have a scheduled life. And working more hours and taking calls on the weekend is not part of schedule people shouldn't be forced into doing things. That's narcissistic manipulation on the company's part and it should have no place in the work force unfortunately people suck. You should be reporting hr to the head of the company and if they do nothing about it, quietly find another job because on any level its mental abuse and for people to applaud mental abusers are just assholes. Keep your mental health trash the abusers.
Follow your gut. You could have accepted the promotion and have been miserable and possibly fired later on. Better the devil you know than the one you don't
Time to start looking for a new career. In the meantime document, document, I can't say that enough. If in the U.S maybe a Labor Law Attorney may be in your future. Under no circumstances,do not let your work suffer. You now get to play the Long Game. Time is on your side. Good Luck 🍀
Start looking for a job where they encourage work-life balance.
Here's my motto....
"I was working, looking for a job, when I found this one"
This display by your company, just shows how narcissistic, childish they are. I would surely be looking, while I was working. And any company or business that says, "We're one big family here!!!" Steer clear of those, big red flag.
OneLove, Peace On.
Trent
