Parenting adult children can be full of surprises: some funny, some shocking. One reader shared a story about her 26-year-old son performing stand-up comedy, using private family moments in his routine, and the unexpected fallout that left her questioning boundaries, trust, and how much to share with grown kids.
Hey Bright Side,
I’m Karen, 52, and my son Eli, 26, recently started doing stand-up comedy. When he invited me to his first show, I hesitated. I wasn’t ready to hear personal family stories broadcast to strangers. Out of frustration, I said, “When will you get a real job?” He went silent and stormed out.
I thought that was the end of it, but the next day, my friend called laughing: “Your son’s bit about his mom... absolutely hilarious!” My stomach dropped. Eli had used private details from our life — from the time I accidentally burned the Thanksgiving turkey, to the fight we had over his messy bedroom in college, to the time he spilled hot tea on my favorite couch. And he wasn’t just joking: he exaggerated, made me sound dramatic, and turned real moments into punchlines for strangers.
I felt furious, betrayed, and humiliated. I refused to attend the show, but I heard from others that he kept joking about me, saying things like “My mom cries over burnt toast” and “She’s secretly a part-time detective in my life,” making the audience roar.
My husband told me to “let him be creative,” but I can’t stop thinking: did he cross a line? Should I have gone to the show to support him despite feeling humiliated? I love my son, but I also want my privacy and dignity respected. Did I overreact, or was I right to refuse?
— Karen
Uh wow...learn to lighten up and laugh at life's moments because they happen to EVERYONE. You had that horrible reaction to your son asking you to attend his show because you sound completely unable to have a good time and worry about how things could effect you that haven't happened. Sad for you but MUCH more sad for your son. You even kept your husband from going to the show because of your bad attitude.
And I forgot to add that I hope your son is the next Jerry Seinfeld and makes it BIG TIME
Brenda! How about a little compassion for a humiliated mom, who had no idea that her son was using her as the butt of his jokes. Her life being used like this might be funny for others, but it seems cruel to me. A fictional Aunt Sofie would have saved her that.
Let's see, you were DISMISSIVE of his choice to try comedy. You were UNSUPPORTIVE of his choice to try comedy. You BECAME HIS GO TO for his comedy, by virtue of your own reaction. What is the problem? ALL or at least MOST comedians use their families and personal situations as fodder for their acts By being so rigid and uncompromising about his choice, you have ENSURED that he WILL USE YOUR BEHAVIOR, OVER, AND OVER AGAIN. You CHOSE to take it personally instead of being A PART OF THE PROCESS, and maybe giving some feedback and encouragement. You have only yourself to blame. If he is just starting out, he needs your acceptance more than your criticism. Bad move, MOM.
Says someone who has not been the butt of someone else's jokes, and public humiliation. I can understand but I haven't been there either. If the mom can make her comic son understand her a little better, maybe he will temper the criticism or put the humorous stories on non existent relatives. Saving face for mom.
I HAVE BEEN THE BUTT OF A COMEDIAN'S JOKE, IN PUBLIC, BY A DRAG QUEEN, BECAUSE OF MY NATURAL ENDOWMENTS. BUT THIS MOTHER DIDN'T MAKE ANY EFFORT, TO SUPPRT, OR EVEN UNDERSTAND, HER OWN CHILD'S DESIRE TO TRY COMEDY. IT HAS GUARANTEED HE WILL USE HER AND SITUATIONS ABOUT HER. MAYBE IF SHE HAD ACTUALLY, OH, I DON'T KNOW, TALKED TO HIM, INSTEAD OF RIDICULING HIM AND HIS CHOICE IF CAREER, HE MIGHT HAVE TONED IT DOWN OR USED A "FAKE" RELATIVE. BEING A SUCCESSFUL COMEDIAN, TAKES HARD WORK, TALENT, AND SUPPORT, IT'S A SHAME THAT HE ISN'T GETTING THE SUPPORT FROM HIS OWN MOTHER. HER HUMILIATION, IS HER OWN DOING. A LITTLE EMBARRASSMENT IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY, FOR HELPING YOUR CHILD SUCCEED.
Comedy can be funny, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of family respect. Use this as an opportunity to share a life lesson with your adult child:
You don’t have to criticize every show, but you can create a balance between love and respect. Consider:
By taking these steps, you safeguard both your privacy and your bond. It’s a real-life example of “choosing your battles wisely,” you protect your dignity without shutting the door on love, laughter, or connection.
It’s natural to feel hurt, humiliated, or even betrayed when private family moments are exposed publicly. Remember the saying, “What’s said in the house should stay in the house.” Your emotions are a red flag showing that trust has been crossed. Don’t ignore them.
What would you do in this situation? Read the story of a parent who refused to cancel their family dinner for their sick stepdaughter. It’s a real-life tale about setting boundaries, balancing family obligations, and making tough decisions when everyone has different expectations.
