I Refused to Buy My Children a Dog, and My Family Has Turned on Me

It’s never easy to tell your kids “no”, especially when it’s something they really want. One of our readers had to make that tough call, but things took an unexpected turn when she received a surprising phone call from her sister.

Feeling overwhelmed by pet care is completely understandable. Animals can be a lot more demanding than people expect, and it’s okay to admit when you’re struggling. Let’s walk through some practical steps you can take to handle this in a way that’s respectful to everyone involved.

Make a plan with a time limit.

If your sister hasn’t given you a clear timeline, it might be time to suggest one together. That way, you’re not endlessly stuck in limbo. Propose a specific time frame that works for you, maybe another week or two. This keeps things from dragging on indefinitely while giving her a bit more time to figure things out.

Once you set that boundary, stick to it. Whether the dog goes back to her, to a foster, or stays permanently is a big decision, but it shouldn’t be left floating in the air forever.

Set boundaries with your kids in a loving way.

Your kids are probably thrilled about the dog, and that’s understandable. But it’s important they know you didn’t just magically change your mind. Have a simple, age-appropriate talk about what’s going on.

Let them know the dog is a guest, and while it’s okay to enjoy having him around, nothing is permanent yet. This can help you manage their expectations gently, so if the dog has to leave, it won’t feel like a betrayal. By setting these boundaries, you take a little emotional pressure off yourself, too.

Delegate dog responsibilities to the whole family.

Right now, it sounds like you're doing most of the work, which isn’t sustainable. You may not have chosen the dog, but if he’s in your home, the entire household should help out.

Make a simple list of dog-related tasks and divide them between your kids and partner if applicable. Even young kids can help with simple jobs under supervision. Sharing the load can help you feel less resentful and show the kids that pet ownership comes with real responsibility.

Revisit the idea of permanency.

After all this, you might find yourself softening toward the dog. If you’re open to keeping the dog, have a family discussion first. What will change? Who will help? How will you handle future costs and care?

This turns an accidental pet into an intentional one, and that shift in mindset can make a big difference. But if you’re still sure it’s not the right fit long-term, that’s okay too. What matters is that you feel empowered to make the choice, not cornered into it.

If you’re actually considering bringing a dog into your life, take a look at these 8 dog breeds that aren’t suited for beginner owners so you can make the best choice for both you and the pup.