I Refused to Let My Food Be Stolen at Work, But I Think I Crossed a Line

Since we tend to be at work for long hours, we carry over comfort food, especially if there are allergies involved. Bright Side reader Mary did the same, until her labeled food supplies began to vanish. Here’s how she caught the office “thief,” and how it nearly backfired.

Here’s what happened to Mary’s food supplies:

Hi Bright Side,

I have severe allergies, so I always bring my own food and drinks to work. Like I have a massive dairy allergy, so I always bring oat milk to the office, to be able to make my coffee. Lately, someone’s been dipping into my clearly labeled supplies. Whether it’s food, or my milk, things kept disappearing, and I had to go without my daily coffee. I asked around, but no one confessed.

I even sent an official mail to everyone on my floor, offering to share my stuff if they’d only let me know, but everyone denied or ignored it. The theft continued. So, I got petty, and filled a milk carton with very special stuff: toothpaste and baking soda. The next day, I caught the thief because they filched my stuff, again. I heard gagging in the break room. To my horror, it was one of my co-workers, who was going through a financial crisis.

She paled when she saw me, and I mumbled something about a bad batch of milk and fled. Since then, we have been avoiding each other, and while the theft has stopped, I feel like I went too far. Was I wrong? Should I reach out to her and do something? I’m just feeling miserable for her, and the situation I inadvertently created.

I am a bit confused how to move further, so any advice would be appreciated!

Thanks!
Mary Blaine

Hi Mary, thank you for sharing your office escapades with us. It’s understandable that you were frustrated: having your allergen-free food repeatedly stolen despite clear labeling and a polite offer to share is aggravating, and anyone could have reacted the way you did. However, the prank unintentionally humiliated and possibly hurt a financially struggling coworker, so here’s what we think can help you overcome this sticky situation.

Firstly, shake off the guilt.

• Stop feeling guilty: You wanted to catch a thief who you might have imagined being a tad sneaky, but your intention wasn’t to shame a person in trouble. While it still happened, shake off the guilt, given this was not an act of deliberate ill-will from your end.
• Remember, you did offer: You’ve stopped the theft, and your coworker may now feel guilt, shame, and perhaps even resentment toward you, but remind yourself that you had offered to share food if they had let you know. The decoy milk was your last stop to catch the thief, not your first.

Here’s how to restore interpersonal relationships.

• Have a one-on-one talk: Approach your colleague in a one-on-one setting, and be honest: “I realize I went too far trying to stop my things from going missing, and I feel bad for how it played out.” Make clear you understand she might have been in a difficult spot and that you regret the way you handled it.
• You may offer a small kindness: You could offer to bring her coffee, lunch, or something thoughtful, but let her decline if she wants. The idea is not to buy forgiveness but to make a genuine offer to help.
• Keep interactions normal: Keep your behavior the same as before. If you guys made small talk, keep at it; if you didn’t, don’t start anything new. You may have embarrassed her by your prank, but she had no right to filch your food supplies without asking.

The thing is, in situations like these, if you do nothing, the awkwardness may linger. If you take the first step, you may not become friends, but you’ll clear the air and relieve your own guilt.

Take a different route for any future issues.

• Secure your supplies: A small lockable box or fridge caddy in the shared fridge will keep your allergen-free food supply safe.
• Labeling plus boundary: Add clear labels and pair them with clear boundaries, like “Please do not use allergen-free food” or “Ask Mary before taking.”
• The official escalation route: If theft continues, go to HR or a manager before taking matters into your own hands.

Bonus: Here’s what our readers feel.

We had a Bright Side reader, Jessica, face a similar situation, although in her case it was expensive tea, and the thief turned out to be her boss, creating a tough workplace situation for her. Here are some reader comments from that story:

• It’s not reasonable to expect that your boss is a thief. There’s a huge difference between offering ONE cup of tea to someone and taking it all. Food/beverage theft is one of the biggest bones of contention in workplaces. If you didn’t buy it, DON’T eat/drink it without asking permission first & remember NO means no. © Callie Ge / Bright Side
• I think you made the right choice in not confronting your boss. This is your workplace, so right or wrong, I think the focus should be on peace and prevention. Just keep your tea in your desk, purse, or locker. No matter how wrong your boss was, leaving altered foods in a public space can come back to bite you. © Nicky H / Bright Side

Ultimately, the decoy was relatively harmless. The onus of the embarrassment lies with the “thief,” but it’s cool to be kind, nonetheless. Remember stash your stuff, and not cry over spilled (or stolen) milk. Here are some more workplace stories that might make you feel better.