I Said No to My MIL in the Delivery Room—and It Sparked a Family Drama

In a lot of family dynamics, mother-in-laws know no boundaries. In extreme cases, they may refuse to honor your wishes in the delivery room. That was the case for Melanie. She only wanted the closest people to be with her, but her MIL is trying to weasel her way into her private moment.

This is Melanie’s struggle with her MIL.

Dear Bright Side,

I’m 37 weeks pregnant and about to give birth soon. I agreed that I only want my husband and sister with me in the delivery room. But my MIL refuses to honor my wishes, saying, “I deserve to witness my grandchild’s birth!” Her entitlement is driving me insane.

I told my husband to stop her, but he’s so weak with her. Now she’s going as far as telling the doctor that she expects a call as soon as the labor begins. My husband even told me that she had already packed a hospital bag to stay overnight with me. I was livid. No one’s doing anything to control her, and I’m too tired to argue. Please help.

Melanie F.

Your husband needs to stand up for you.

Thank you for sharing your story, Melanie. You’re at a weak point right now and have every right to be frustrated with your MIL, but also your husband. If he can’t stand up for you at this crucial moment, then you need to reassess your trust in him.

It can be difficult for a person to stand up to a demanding parent. However, his role has shifted from devoted son to caring husband. His primary duty is now to you and your unborn child. He needs to understand that his “weakness” is causing you immense stress at a time when you need to be focused and peaceful.

Make your boundaries official.

At your next appointment, without your husband or MIL present, be very clear. Say, “I need to make it officially known on my chart that under no circumstances is my mother-in-law to be allowed in the delivery room. The only people approved are my husband and my sister. Please do not give her any information or admit her, even if she says I asked for her.”

If your MIL guilt-trips you...

You’re not responsible for your MIL’s feelings. Her entitlement and disappointment are her own to manage. You are about to do the incredible work of bringing a new life into the world. Your only job right now is to protect your peace and focus on your baby.

Every soon-to-be mother has every right to pick who gets access to the delivery room. Even if she chooses to be alone, everyone should respect her wishes. In some cases, that can hurt some feelings. Just look at this woman who chose her stepmom over her biological mom to join her in the delivery room.