I Told My Friend About My Coworker’s True Intentions After They Matched on a Dating App

With advancing technology, online dating has become common for singles. And some people cruelly play with others’ feelings until karma catches up. But when two people matched on the app are your acquaintances, with one being your friend, you may find yourself having to step in. That’s what our heroine did in the story below.

“I (28m) work with this woman Lydia (24f) who has a very annoying habit. She has a dating profile that she uses specifically to lure guys to buy her expensive dinners at restaurants she wants to try, and then ghosts them. Lydia brags about this all the time and is never interested in actually dating, but she’ll act like it to sell it.

I can’t stand this because it’s playing with people’s hearts, but Lydia thinks of it as a life hack to try food or drinks she otherwise couldn’t afford.”

“My friend Daniel (32m) is also on dating sites, but for the right reasons. His late wife died a few years ago, and he’s just started jumping back into the dating scene. Daniel’s a very sweet guy, and I really want him to find a great lady for him.

A few days ago, he texted me asking if I knew Lydia. They matched and got to talking about work, which is how he found out we worked at the same place. I told him all about Lydia’s intentions with the restaurant thing and made it very clear to him that he would do his best to drop things off with her early on. Daniel said he’d probably still do the date but ask for separate checks.”

“Well, they went out this past weekend and on Monday Lydia came into work very upset. I asked her how her date with Daniel went, and she ripped into me, asking if I was the one who told him not to pay for her dinner.

Apparently, she had Daniel take her to a high-end steakhouse, and she ended up splurging. She got a drink, a full entrée with a side and dessert, and Daniel just ordered a sandwich and salad. Her bill alone came to $70 something, and she was almost in tears at work as she didn’t expect to pay for it and now her car was low on gas.”

“I got a little upset too as she tried to use my friend as a literal meal ticket, but somehow she didn’t see it that way. Daniel told me later the date was going kind of well until he asked for separate checks, and then Lydia just got weirdly cold.

So now Lydia’s mad at me because I told someone about her little tactic, and it backfired on her. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong since it was a grieving friend I was protecting, but some other people we work with said I should have stayed out of it because it was none of my business.”

People on the Internet shared their opinions about her situation.

• “Her luck finally ran out. I question why Daniel still went ahead with the date after you clued him in, unless it was to show her up, in which case, fair play, it’s my kind of petty.” Prudent_Jello5691 / Reddit
  • “He did because it’s been a while since he’s dated, and he wants to get more comfortable with dating again after his wife died. I tried to talk him out of it altogether, but he said a first date be good for him irregardless.” notyourcustodian / Reddit
• “She did this to herself. You didn’t ‘cheat her’ out of anything. Her shameful ruse didn’t work. If she can’t afford her food, then she shouldn’t go to the restaurant.
  You did what was right and protected your friend from a scammer. The people saying you did wrong are people with opinions not worth caring about.” BulbasaurRanch / Reddit
• “This is why I don’t do dinner dates for a first date. Just coffee or snacks and I establish that I will only be paying for myself during the planning stage.” mdthomas / Reddit
• “You even told your friend to just cut ties, and THEY decided to still do the date. You did your part by warning them, and that’s all you could do. It was up to your friend to decide if they would pay for the dinner, and they chose not to. Eventually, Lydia had to know this scam was going to catch up to her.” rachaubrey / Reddit

• “Not all guys will agree to an expensive restaurant for a first date with someone they met online. I don’t have personal experience, but the people I know who do dating apps always have the first date be coffee or a drink, or another short-time activity, and if there is interest they move to dinner, a film, etc.
  Even for those who go for dinner, not everyone will fall for her angling for a pricey date. I think most people will either opt out before the date or suggest a more modest date and get rejected, not go on the date and pull this stunt. The few that do agree are probably either desperate or well-off enough that they don’t think to question it.” Infinite_Slide_5921 / Reddit
• “Men are not meal tickets. She’s hurting people by just using them for food.
  You warned your friend who wants a true relationship after the death of his wife that she wasn’t what he was looking for. You protected him. You did nothing wrong. Lydia needs to pay for her own meals.” yukidaviji / Reddit
• “Dates are supposed to be 2 people wanting to know each other and both parties should have the capability to pay for their own meal unless the other person insists on covering the entire bill. The fact that Lydia was mad at you after the date completely validates your decision to warn Daniel about it. Change your perspective and think about this instead. You helped Daniel save some money, and you helped Lydia realize that this is the consequences of her actions.” Sundaeeeee / Reddit
• “This is a con known as ‘Lonely Hearts Scam’ or just ‘Romance Scam’. You pretend to be romantically interested in someone, suck up as many gifts as you can, then ghost them. They often target widows/widowers because they’re emotionally vulnerable. Lydia will deny it up and down because she doesn’t see herself that way, but she’s literally a con artist taking advantage of people.” Abstruse / Reddit

Here’s another story involving dating apps. A woman was annoyed by a married man flirting with her, so she taught him a lesson that had serious consequences for his family.