A Married Man Flirted with Me, Here’s What I Did out of Women’s Solidarity with His Wife
Marriage is a bed of roses only if it’s depicted in a movie or described in a romantic book. In fact, it’s a tricky union, which may be full of trials and tribulations. One of such is the temptation to be with someone else rather than with a spouse, and not many marriages stay strong after even a hint of unfaithfulness in the family. Our today’s heroine is a woman, who couldn’t stand the fact that one married man was trying to flirt with her, and she decided to teach him a lesson that brought some tough consequences for his family life.
A woman took to a dating site to find her love, and everything seemed to go according to plan.
Dating apps have become a very common way for many people to find their love. There are many stories of people who met their significant ones via dating services. They keep encouraging others to follow their example and to not be afraid of trying their luck by creating a profile on some matchmaking site.
Our heroine, a woman named Kathleen, has also decided to create an account on one of the popular dating apps, and she could never imagine that a sincere desire to meet someone special would turn into one huge drama for her. She wrote a letter to our editorial, telling her story. She asked us for a piece of advice regarding her action which led to a family breakup and a lot of frustration both for her and a woman she had never even met in her life.
Kathleen began her story, explaining that she signed up for a popular dating service, being inspired by one of her friends’ story. She wrote that her friend, who was totally busy with work and daily tasks, couldn’t find her love in real life. She just didn’t have time for meeting new people and going on dates. But she tried her luck with a dating app and met the love of her life, who became her husband and with whom she built a thriving family. Kathleen had a similar dream, so she created her profile and uploaded some nice photos to it.
She was overwhelmed by the response she got, with many men messaging her and wishing to meet her in real life. But, as she wrote in her letter, none of them really made her interested. Then one day she got a message from a man, whose profile caught her attention, and she started communicating with him.
An unpleasant surprise was waiting for Kathleen.
Kathleen goes on with her story, saying that the man, whose name was Robert, seemed to be very sweet from the beginning. He complimented her photos, saying that she looked like a woman from a classic painting. As their communication went ahead, he said that he’d love to paint a picture of Kathleen. Then he shared that he was actually married and had a 1-year-old kid. But he said he was unhappy in his marriage, and that he was looking for someone like Kathleen to build a happy union with.
As soon as she found out that Robert was married, Kathleen felt a strong urge to end this communication forever. But Robert was very persistent, he started sending her suggestive texts, saying that she was the woman of his dream and his wife was just a mistake in his life.
Kathleen wrote, “The whole personality of this man suddenly became disgusting to me. The only positive thing about him was that he still loved his little daughter and he was constantly telling me what a good dad he is. But at the same time, he always tried to mention how much he suffered in his marriage and how evil his wife has become after giving birth. I just couldn’t stand this anymore.”
Kathleen didn’t want to leave things as they were, and made a fateful decision.
Kathleen wrote that, all of a sudden, she felt very sorry for Robert’s wife, who must have been still recovering from giving birth, both mentally and physically, and whose husband was literally cheating on her, even in such a seemingly harmless way.
She then found out Robert’s surname, searched for his profile on social networks, found his wife’s account and sent her a friendship request. When his wife wrote to her asking why she was adding her as a friend and if they were acquainted, Kathleen then wrote back to her and told her all her story with Robert, sending her the screenshots of his dating profile and their messaging. She wrote that she’d been hesitating before ever doing this, but finally, her female solidarity took over and she wasn’t even thinking about the consequences of such actions.
Kathleen revealed that after her correspondence, Robert’s wife divorced him. She knew this from his wife directly, who wrote to her some time after their initial talk and said she couldn’t live with a liar anymore. Kathleen knows that Robert was pleading his wife not to leave him, saying that his dating experience was only a game for him, but despite all of this, the spouses divorced. Kathleen is now feeling very bad about it, doubting if she made a right decision to tell Robert’s wife everything about his affairs on dating apps. She asked us for advice and wrote that she would accept any criticism towards her behavior in this situation.
We think that Kathleen could’ve acted another way.
If things could be turned back, we’d have advised Kathleen not to interfere with the life of a family, even if she thought that the husband was acting inappropriately for a married man. Robert’s wife might have had a postpartum depression, which may have affected her relationship with her spouse. More than that, Robert himself might have fallen victim to a postpartum depression and this is why he was acting thoughtlessly, trying to find at least some relaxation on dating sites. This way or that, the family, who are going through a relationship crisis, need some professional help first, rather than a third person who’ll interfere with their complicated relationship, even if this person is telling the truth about one of the spouses behaving inappropriately.
The interests of the man’s child should’ve been put first.
The spouses may go through many difficulties after their child is born. Robert and his wife have a daughter, who’s only 1 year old. It may have put a strain on their relationship, because each of the spouses must be feeling lack of time and attention from each other, together with a lack of sleep and constant obligation to adjust to their little daughter’s needs. Robert might have entered a dating site only with a purpose to fill in that lack of communication that he’s recently had because of the baby.
And by interfering with the family’s relationship, Kathleen should have thought about the little girl’s interests first. If a kid’s parents divorce, it’s never good for a child, but the baby’s parents could’ve coped with this crisis on their own with time.
And here’re some inspirational stories that prove solidarity can play a very positive role in relationships.