I Refused to Eat Gluten and Became the Office Problem

Jessica’s letter:

Hi Bright Side,

My boss brought a cake to celebrate our biggest client win of the year. When I politely declined a slice, he asked why in front of the entire team. “I don’t eat gluten,” I explained simply.

The room went silent, then my boss smiled coldly and said, “Oh, one of those people. Let me guess — you’re also lactose intolerant and allergic to everything fun.” A few coworkers laughed uncomfortably, while I felt my face burning with embarrassment.

The celebration continued around me, but I could feel people whispering and glancing in my direction. My boss made several more comments throughout the afternoon about how “some people just can’t be team players.” I tried to laugh it off, but inside I was mortified.

The next day, HR called me into their office. I was horrified when they told me that several colleagues had complained about my “attitude” during the celebration, and that my boss felt I was being “difficult” and “attention-seeking” by announcing my dietary restrictions. They said my behavior was “disruptive to team morale” and suggested I try to be more “accommodating” in future office events.

I tried to explain that I was just politely declining cake, but they cut me off and said they’d received multiple reports about my “negative attitude” and that I needed to work on being more of a “team player.”

I left that meeting feeling completely defeated and confused. Now I’m worried about my job security and don’t know how to handle future office events without this happening again. Was I really wrong for just trying to protect my choices?

— Jessica R.

Jessica, we’re sorry this happened to you and understand how frustrating it must feel. Your boss handled this poorly, and you shouldn’t have been made to feel like the problem. You did nothing wrong by politely declining cake. We hope our advice helps you navigate this tricky situation.

Prepare simple responses for future food situations. Practice saying things like “I’ll pass, but thanks” or “I brought my own snack” without feeling like you owe anyone an explanation. You don’t need to announce your personal reasons to decline food politely. If someone pushes for details, a simple “I have dietary restrictions” should be enough for any reasonable person to understand and move on.

Keep doing your job well and stay professional. Don’t let this situation affect your work performance or attitude toward other aspects of your job. Continue being the reliable employee you’ve always been so nobody can use work performance as an excuse to target you further. Document your successes and positive feedback to show this incident doesn’t reflect your actual value to the company.

Connect with others who understand dietary restrictions. Whether that’s online communities, friends, or family members who support you, having people who validate your experience helps counteract the workplace negativity. You need reminders that your needs are legitimate and that you’re handling this situation appropriately. Outside support helps you maintain perspective when work stress gets overwhelming.

Trust your instincts about whether this workplace is right for you. A company culture that mocks employees probably has other problematic attitudes you haven’t discovered yet. While you shouldn’t have to leave your job over this, it’s worth considering whether you want to work somewhere that treats people this way. Sometimes the best solution is finding an employer who values respect and inclusion from the start.

Tell us about a time when you were just minding your own business and somehow became the office villain anyway. We want to hear your most frustrating “I literally did nothing wrong” workplace moment.

And if you enjoyed this story, check out this powerful story from our reader: “After months of free babysitting and housework, my son-in-law had the audacity to demand I watch his kids during their weekend trip. ’You’ll stay with them, right?’ I smiled sweetly and said yes. But when they left the next morning, I...” Click 👉 here to read what happened next.