I’m a Surrogate for My Sister, but She Wants to Control Me in the Most Unusual Way

Family & kids
month ago

Family bonds are invaluable, often calling for selfless sacrifices for one another. Yet, there are instances where people may overlook the depth of another person’s dedication, leading to strains in sibling relationships. Julie, a Bright Side reader, recently shared her story with us, recounting how her sister’s disregard for her feelings and invasion of privacy left her feeling unappreciated despite her significant sacrifices.

Has your sister always been dominant with you?
She is not seeing you as an autonomous individual. Carrying her baby doesn't give her authority over your body. Nor does paying you to carry the baby give her authority over your body.
She must back right off, and if this is going to put her off the baby, she isn't going to weather the trials of motherhood.


Hi Julie! We appreciate your openness and reaching out to us. Here are some suggestions we have for you, and we trust you’ll find them beneficial.

Have open communication and understanding.

Approach Claire with an open heart and mind. Express your feelings honestly, emphasizing the depth of your love and commitment to her. Try to understand her perspective without judgment, and encourage her to do the same for you. Sometimes, a heartfelt conversation can bridge the gap between differing viewpoints.

Establish boundaries

While your relationship with Claire is important, it’s crucial to prioritize your own emotional well-being and happiness. Clearly communicate your boundaries regarding Claire’s demands and financial propositions. Assert your right to make decisions that align with your values and personal happiness, even if they differ from Claire’s expectations.

Seek professional mediation.

Consider involving a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate a constructive dialogue between you and Claire. A professional can help navigate the emotional complexities and guide both of you toward a resolution that respects each other’s feelings and needs.

Consider the long-term consequences.

Reflect on the potential long-term impact your decisions will have on your relationships with both Claire and Alex. Evaluate whether compromising your relationship with Alex or sacrificing your own happiness for Claire’s sake will lead to resentment or regret in the future. Prioritize solutions that promote mutual respect, understanding, and emotional well-being for all involved parties.

Reflect on personal values.

Take some time for introspection to reaffirm your motivations and values. Reflect on what truly matters to you and what you’re willing to compromise on. Remember that your decision to become a surrogate was driven by love and compassion, not financial gain. Stay true to yourself and your principles, even in the face of external pressures.

Managing connections within families can prove challenging. Another Bright Side reader has shared her experience and seeks guidance on a matter involving her mother’s interference in her life. Explore her letter and our advice here.

Preview photo credit Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels


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