So unless you are deathly allergic to one or another meat she did not try to poison you. That being said she should not be trying to convert you or show you up by trickery, if she doesn't want to or is uncomfortable trying to cook vegan for you, you are undoubtedly able to cook your own and take it. I have to ask though, 1. was your spouse vegan prior or 2a.have you converted (read vegan or split)your husband to eat vegan at home to placate you, 2b is he allowed meat at home without condemnation despite your own dietary preferences? If it's 2 a or even b, that may be a lot of the reason he's not saying much, he may be holding his breath on the outcome of this brouhaha, cheating on you with the local burger joint when he can, it's like a vegan saying they've got a vegan cat or dog, giving them the option of vegan or starve to prove it. There are so many recipe options that can be made vegan with very small tweeks and no change in flavor( no, cheese is not one of them, vegan cheese is disgusting) that I'm surprised your mil hasn't already created some new variants ( but then again maybe you've taken the total my view or you're wrong tact) to keep some of the family recipes palatable to both camps. If nothing else it's time to sit down and explain why you've chosen a vegan diet for yourself and why you were so upset by the dressing fiasco because from some of the tones of your story I'm not sure your husband knows your dietary reasoning, let alone anyone else.
