My Coworker Complained About My Hand Soap, and It Turned Into a Full-Blown HR Issue

The work environment and office can be inherently complicated and challenging to navigate. Not only do the demands of the job come into play, but also the need to coexist and work alongside others who may have personalities, preferences, and quirks vastly different from your own. It might not seem so, but being prepared is crucial because you can encounter situations like the one in the following story.

“Am I a bad person for refusing to stop washing my hands just because my coworker is ’bothered’ by certain smells?”

I have this coworker who always says she’s sensitive to smells. No one’s allowed to wear deodorant, let alone perfume, in the office because she throws a mini tantrum if she smells anything except clean, undiluted oxygen.

Usually, she just complains to the boss, then everyone gets a generic company-wide email saying we’re a scent-free zone and blah blah blah... Everyone, back to work.

Now, she’s been extra annoying these last few weeks. She keeps saying she smells perfume. No one will admit to wearing any. We get emails about office smells almost daily now, and nothing changes. So she’s decided to take the law into her own hands, so to speak.

Like 2 to 3 times a week, she starts walking up and down the aisles, sticks her head into each person’s desk, takes a big whiff, and moves on to the next desk. All to try to find the culprit.

On Friday, she did this again. I had just come back from the bathroom when she got to my desk. She did her smell test on me and immediately lost it. Apparently, the perfume she’s been smelling the last few weeks was coming off me. After she made a scene in front of everyone, we determined that what she was smelling was the hand soap I used in the bathroom.

She had wasted enough time of my day by that point, so I professionally told her to stop bothering me and that I was not going to stop washing my hands because she’s a hypochondriac. The way I phrased it was like “hand washing with soap is a non-negotiable hygiene practice, and I will not stop doing it. You can’t reasonably expect me to avoid that.”

As I suspected, I got called into a meeting with my boss and this coworker today. I work at a small company, so we don’t have a dedicated HR department, and our boss handles these kinds of issues.

We ended up figuring out what had happened. The maintenance guy put new soap in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago. That lines up with when the coworker started smelling “perfume” in the office. So every time someone used the bathroom and washed their hands, she thought the smell was perfume.

My boss ended up just buying new hand soap, I think to smooth things over, and placed the bottles in the bathrooms. He asked everyone to please use the new unscented soaps until they could get the ones in the bathroom changed.

My coworker was making a bit of a scene during the meeting. She kept thrusting her finger at me and saying things like “YOU don’t respect me! YOU don’t take my issues seriously”, which is honestly true. I don’t take her issues seriously. There are times she smells something no one else can smell and she’ll get angry at people using scents. Then I’ve seen her walk into the bathroom right after someone sprayed perfume and not notice anything. Last year, she also demanded everyone stop using scented detergents at home. No one I talk to has stopped, including myself, but she thinks everyone has, and so she doesn’t smell scented detergent anymore, coincidentally.

I’m a professional at work. So while I don’t actually take her seriously, I don’t express that. I feel like she was just projecting her issues with other coworkers onto me. We’re not friends, but I don’t treat her any differently. I don’t even join in when people are talking badly about her, which is a lot. The only reason I sit near her is that everyone else has asked to move because she’s so difficult. I can tolerate her, so it’s been on my desk for a while.

I asked her to explain what I did that makes her feel like I don’t respect her. She couldn’t come up with an answer (because there isn’t one) and kind of just stumbled on her words. Then I asked when I could expect an apology for embarrassing me on Friday and accusing me of not respecting her today. She ended up just walking out, and when I got back to my desk, her purse was gone, so I guess she just left for the day.

What do the experts say?

Environmental Chemical Sensitivity (ECS) could be the main issue. Those affected report real and debilitating symptoms, such as breathing difficulties, nausea, or migraines, even when exposed to minimal levels of fragrances or cleaners. For now, the debate continues whether this is solely a physical illness or has a significant psychological component (nocebo effect).

The fact that the colleague smells scents that no one else perceives and that their symptoms fade when they believe the problem is solved (even if that’s not the case) suggests a possible component of somatic symptom disorder or exacerbated anxiety. In these situations, health anxiety or work stress can manifest physically, heightening the sense of smell to a psychogenic hyperosmia. The symptoms are real to the individual, but the cause is a psychological response to internal or external stressors.

To find an effective solution, the company must address both situations: control behavioral conflict (such as “scent hunting”) with clear rules and foster a workplace environment that values hygiene and sensitivity to fragrances. And of course, it should seek cost-effective accommodations for office products when necessary.

What annoys you or makes you feel sensitive that others fail to notice? How would you handle this situation if you were the colleague washing their hands?

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