My Husband Made Our Cool Nanny Leave Us, Now Our Family Is Falling Apart

Relationships
month ago

A woman, 29, has taken to Reddit and told the users about her totally difficult family situation. She’s a lucky person to have found an amazing nanny for her kids, who has a nice personality, too. But her husband’s behavior made the nanny quit, and now the woman’s family life is also slowly turning into one big mess, with a lot of red flags popping up here and there.

A woman was lucky to have found a really cool nanny for her kids.

A woman, 29, has taken to one of the Reddit communities to tell her family story. She began her post, saying that she’s married to her husband, 34, and they have a nanny, 21. They hired her over a year ago when the OP was pregnant with their baby girl while they had a toddler, 2 at the time, now 4 as well and couldn’t do much, and her husband couldn’t be with her all the time due to his work.

The woman described her nanny, saying, «She is amazing with our girls, she has helped me so much during the last few months of my pregnancy and especially postpartum. None of my friends are pregnant yet so they couldn’t always help me and I don’t have mom nor am I close to mother-in-law, I didn’t have anyone to confide in like that.»

The OP feels really lucky that she has hired such a good professional and that her nanny is a nice person, too. She says, «Our nanny has so much experience and was so amazing to me. She made me amazing soups and stews from her culture that were made to help pregnant women. It was amazing, she would make my toddler have quiet time, which was even more amazing. She is always on time, she’s very clean, an amazing cook, really fun with the girls, and a good teacher as well.»

The nanny has become a real member of the family and was well-accommodated in their house.

The woman continues her story, saying, «Our nanny and my husband only met once and that was during our Zoom meeting, and they have never met after that. Since she gets here after my husband leaves and leaves before he comes back, they’ve never crossed paths before.»

She explains further, «3 weeks ago me and husband got really sick and so my husband stayed home from work. Due to how sick I was I forgot to relay this information to our nanny. Our baby has been extremely clingy the past few months and will cry if left alone. I usually bring her to the bathroom with me, but the bathroom downstairs is much smaller, so our nanny can’t do that as comfortably.»

So, there was a need for the nanny to use the family bathroom, bearing in mind one simple nuance. The woman says, «She decided to just start using the bathroom with the door cracked open and would give our baby a toy outside so she’s not tempted to come in but can still see her. I’m aware of this and am fine with it since it’s only us girls home.»

Things became very tense one day, and no one expected it.

The woman wrote, that one day, things rapidly changed in the family. She explains, «While my husband was home unbeknownst to her, she went to use the bathroom with the door open and my husband saw her. She completely freaked out and apologized profusely. She was wearing a romper, so she was almost completely undressed when he saw her. I had no issue and apologized to her that I forgot to let her know my husband was home. Everything was fine, but I sensed she was extremely uncomfortable, which I kept apologizing for.»

Everything would have been fine after the incident, but the woman’s husband started behaving very impudently. The woman says, «The next few days, my husband started going to work late and coming home early, to which there would be more interactions between him and the nanny. When I hired our nanny, one of the things she told me was that she wasn’t comfortable with adult men in the house, which was not a problem since our arrangement didn’t allow it.»

His behavior was becoming more and more uncomfortable for everyone. The woman wrote, «When he would see her, he kept trying to make personal conversations which our nanny redirected to the girls. Last week, she spoke with me and reminded me of the agreement we had which was no adult men in the house and that she was uncomfortable. I completely understood where she was coming from.»

The situation progressed to a very unhealthy point.

The woman continues, saying, «I spoke with my husband, and he apologized to her and me. The next day he went to work normal, then 2 days later he told me he had to work from home since his office is getting worked on. We talked to our nanny and my husband told us that he would stay upstairs the whole time. Which worked for the rest of last week. On Monday, he „accidentally“ forgot his coffee and went to get it while our nanny was there.»

And the woman’s husband started doing unhealthy things again and again. The woman said, «He was asking her personal questions. He asked her how was her weekend which she responded „good“ and then he had the nerve to ask her if she saw her boyfriend. She responded no and that she didn’t have one. He went on to ask her what type of men she was into, I went downstairs quickly to stop it. And apologized to our nanny.
When we got upstairs, I yelled at him for talking to her like that and reminded him what he agreed to do, and that was to stay away from her. I noticed he was monitoring the nanny cam a lot, and he told me he was just checking in on the girls.»

«Yesterday, I had a really bad stomach ache because I’m lactose intolerant and my husband accidentally put whole milk in both of our coffees. I asked him to go end the day with the nanny and lock up the door after her. Unbeknownst to me, he started asking her what type of men she was into and was telling her how he’s dated black women before and is into them. Our nanny is black.
Last night, our nanny tried calling me, but I was sleeping because I took some medicine for my stomach. I woke today to see a text from her that she was quit because she didn’t feel comfortable coming to the house anymore.»

The woman regrets losing her nanny so much.

The woman closed her post, saying, «I texted and called her, and she hasn’t picked up. I’m beyond angry at my husband and took some time to calm down, but really I can’t. I don’t think I can replace her, and truly I don’t want to. I don’t want to start this all over again.
We know each other so well, we have inside jokes, we have memories that I can’t recreate. She is someone I have felt comfortable enough to confide in with everything. She has been with me throughout special moments with the kids and even for me.
I’m not upset with her at all and completely understand she may be shaken up by yesterday, so I’ve accepted giving her some space. I just really wasn’t prepared for this.»

People of Reddit went very emotional about the whole situation.

The users of Reddit were quick to react to the woman’s story with their opinions.

One person wrote, «Let’s be honest here. Your husband made her so uncomfortable she had to quit her job without notice for fear for her safety.
Besides the fact that he was clearly attempting to cheat on you, in your own house, he is clearly a predator, who has little to no respect for women. He doesn’t seem to respect her, since she made is very clear she didn’t reciprocate his interest, yet he didn’t back off. And he very obviously doesn’t respect you, as he did all of this either in front of you or with you in the house.
You need to make some hard decisions right now, whether that be marriage counseling, separation or something else. And let the nanny know you’d like to give her severance and an AMAZING reference for her future employment, and hope to God she doesn’t decide to sue.»

Another user added, «As a man who has had a couple of nannies over the early years of our kids-I feel like I can chip in a bit here.
Little jokes / comments, which you might think are acceptable with a female friend or work colleague, are totally out of line in this relationship. The boyfriend question is a solid example, and was borderline offensive — everything after that was way, way over the line.»

The third person said, «If this was in an office, the company would have already fired OP’s husband.
Think about that, OP- do you really want you and your children to spend huge portions of your life with a man who is such an obvious and awful liability that any old corporation would be motivated to fire him immediately? If he’s not appropriate for work, he’s definitely not appropriate for your life.»

And here’s yet another “husband-nanny” story, which has a different angle and a totally tough decision at the end.

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