My Pregnant Coworker Demanded I Stop Using My Perfume, HR Got Involved

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3 hours ago
My Pregnant Coworker Demanded I Stop Using My Perfume, HR Got Involved

Workplace conflicts during pregnancy can be tricky; balancing empathy for expecting coworkers with maintaining a healthy environment isn’t easy. Understanding pregnancy-related workplace issues, employee rights, and HR policies can help create a more inclusive, supportive, and productive office culture.

Mia’s story:

Hello Bright Side!

So, here’s the deal. I work in a small office, think open floor plan, barely any privacy, and everyone’s business is everyone’s business. One of my coworkers recently announced she’s pregnant. Cool, we were all happy for her! But then the morning sickness and smell sensitivity started, and things went downhill fast. At first, it was small stuff. She’d politely ask people not to heat certain foods (like fish, which was fair), and most of us tried to be considerate.

But then it kinda turned into her running the place. She’d snap if someone brought in coffee that was too strong or if someone wore scented lotion. Last week, she told me point-blank: “Enough with your cheap perfume, or I’ll make you sorry.” I was stunned. I wasn’t even wearing anything heavy. I didn’t even respond, just kinda smiled awkwardly because I didn’t want to escalate it.

EVERY STORY IS "I SNEEZED AND HR GOT INVOLVED" or "I BLINKED TOO MANY TIMES AND HR GOT INVOLVED" What country do you all live in? In every office that I have ever worked, HR only got mad at the complainer unless the complaint truly was causing an issue with getting the work done, or the complainer was a friend of the HR people. You can't run a successful office or business if you're so busy trying to accommodate someone that refuses any accomodations except their own preferences, Causing a hostile work environment for all but one.

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The next day, HR calls both of us in. Apparently, my coworker had complained about “a hostile work environment” because of the smells triggering her nausea. HR suggested moving her desk to a quieter area so she could control her space better. She hated that. Said it was “isolating” and “punishing her for being pregnant.”

The thing is, most of our team actually agreed with HR. People have been walking on eggshells around her for weeks, and it’s exhausting. Now she’s barely speaking to anyone, and even though I didn’t do anything wrong, I still feel this weird guilt about it. Like, she’s pregnant, hormones are wild, and I get that... but also, she’s made the office super tense.

Bright Side, am I the jerk for not just caving and switching perfumes? Should I have been more accommodating since she’s pregnant, or was this just getting out of hand?

Thank you in advance,
Mia

Hey, thank you for sharing your story, Mia. Seriously, that couldn’t have been easy to put out there. We read through everything and tried to gather some pieces of advice that might actually help. Hopefully, something in here gives you a bit of clarity or at least makes you feel less alone in dealing with all this.

  • You’re not the villain for wanting peace at work. You didn’t ask for a fight, you were just existing. If she made a scene and HR stepped in, that’s not on you. Sometimes the universe handles things for you when you’re too polite to make a fuss. Take the win quietly and let HR do their job.
  • Don’t let HR drama live rent-free in your head. Once HR’s involved, it’s not your problem to manage anymore. Document what you need to, stay polite, and move on. The more you replay it in your head, the more power you give it. Just... let it fade.
  • You’re allowed to outgrow people who make life harder. This might sound harsh, but some folks just drain the joy out of a room. You can wish her well and still be glad she’s not sitting next to you. That’s not petty, that’s just knowing what kind of energy you want around you.

At the end of the day, these situations remind us how important empathy and communication are in any workplace. With a little understanding and balance, it’s possible for everyone to feel respected, supported, and at ease.
Read next—"I Was in a Motorbike Accident, Then My Boss Sent a Text That Haunted Me"

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