My Son Was Losing Himself to His Phone — I Took It Away to Save Him

Raising teenagers who are heavily into technology can present unique challenges, particularly with social media and the internet playing such a central role in their daily lives. One mom, feeling overwhelmed by her son’s constant use of his phone and his behavior, finally decided to take it away. She then reached out to us, looking for advice on how to manage the situation.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience with us. To support you in handling this situation, we’ve compiled a few practical tips. These suggestions are designed to promote healthier habits and improve communication between you and your child. We hope they help make things a bit easier for you as you move forward!

Work on developing trust and respect.

Rebuilding trust is key after a tense situation like this. Make it clear that while setting boundaries is important, you also trust him to make responsible choices and want to collaborate to find solutions. Recognize that neither of you handled things perfectly and express your commitment to improving together.

When he realizes that you’re willing to meet him halfway, he’ll be more likely to respond positively and approach future conflicts with a better mindset.

Establish clear limits for screen time.

Rather than completely taking away his devices, set clear and reasonable boundaries for when and how he can use them. Work together to create a schedule that includes specific times for meals, family activities, and homework, so he feels involved in the process.

Make it clear that you’re not banning screens, but helping him learn how to balance his time in a healthy way. Having well-defined boundaries can minimize power struggles and help him understand your expectations without feeling like his freedom is being restricted.

Make family time enjoyable and welcoming.

If you want him to engage more with the family, try making the time together something he enjoys. Organize activities that cater to his interests, like a movie night with his favorite treats, cooking a meal as a group, or planning an outing that excites him.

Allow him to have a say in what you do—this shows that his opinions matter. When family time becomes enjoyable rather than feeling like an obligation, he’ll be more likely to participate, which can help rebuild your bond.

Set an example for healthy technology habits.

Children tend to mirror what they observe, so use this chance to demonstrate balanced technology use yourself. Show him that you set your phone aside during meals or when engaging in a conversation. This creates a sense of teamwork, rather than him feeling like he’s the only one being controlled.

This way, he may feel less targeted and be more open to reflecting on his own habits. Leading by example can gently encourage him to find a better balance with his devices.

Striking the right balance between being kind to your child and enforcing firm boundaries can be challenging. One mother decided to try a new approach by embracing the popular trend of praising her child, even when their behavior wasn’t perfect.