I Paid Over $2,700 to Attend My Best Friend’s Wedding, Then She Got Mad at Me When I Told Her I Had No Money Left

One of a maid of honor’s biggest fears when it comes to a wedding is not being able to afford it. Of course, it’s not fair to pay for everything, but chipping in is always a good way of helping the bride and groom on their special day. However, more often than not, the maid of honor and bride end up butting heads when making preparations.

Our duty here at Bright Side is to always help people get out of a tight situation with helpful advice, so we did our best to do just that.

Thank you, Katie, for working up the courage to tell us your story. Wedding disagreements happen often, so we did our best to help prevent future issues.

• Despite it being hard, try to stay cool and collected. A bride’s wedding day, as well as the days before, are quite stressful. So don’t blame her for being a bit stressed out.
  Be the bigger person and explain your reasoning calmly and clearly. Try to understand her, as well as make yourself understood regarding your situation and being in a rough spot.

• Going off of that point, try to reach a consensus. It is normal — as well as expected — for a bridesmaid to chip in a pay for things, such as bridal showers, food, decorations, etc.
  However, that is not to say you should pay for everything. It’s not your wedding, after all. Maybe tell her you’re able to pay for stuff here and there, but that you’re low on money, so you can only afford half the price for each.

• If she truly is your best friend, she will understand. Best friends are supposed to make you happy, and there are even studies that show they make us healthier too! That said, if she really is very close to you, there shouldn’t be a need for you 2 to fight over money or who pays for what. You already did a lot, even offering for your mother to make the dresses for a cheaper price, so you’re definitely a good friend.

• Maybe being a maid of honor is not right for you. Since she clearly has some errands for you that are quite expensive, why not ask her to appoint someone else as maid of honor? That wouldn’t mean you’re not best friends, just that you can’t afford everything she wants you to pay for right now. Maybe someone else can.
  How about being one of the bridesmaids? They still pay for stuff here and there, but it’s quite different from being the maid of honor.

• You shouldn’t speak to anyone like that, so let her know. Having a stressful period of preparations is understandable, but she picked you as her maid of honor for a reason — you’re her best friend. Let her know that the way she spoke doesn’t sit right with you, and go from there. You never know, she might apologize and explain how hard it must be to be a bride.

• At the end of the day, listen to your heart. What does it tell you? Do you still want to go and try to work things out with her? If you feel comfortable with it, take the necessary steps to make sure nothing like this ever happens again.

Have you ever gone through or seen something similar? Feel free to speak your thoughts in the comments, they might help someone!