16 First Dates So Bad, They Should Be Turned Into a Comedy Movie

Dates are almost like exams: you prepare, get nervous. And even if the date doesn’t go as planned and makes you blush or nervously giggle, over time it can turn into a great story that you share with friends to have a laugh together.

• My wife had a single girlfriend, and my brother had a single friend. So, my brother decided to introduce them, and we were invited along.
  We sat down, talked, and went to our place for some tea. Then the guy walked the girl home, and the next day she was in tears, complaining, “He walked me to the corner of my house, said ’Goodbye!’ and ran off. I think he didn’t like me...”
  But it turned out, he did like her; he was just too shy to ask to use the restroom at our place. They’ve been together for 15 years now, have 2 children, and we still laugh about this story. © Alexander / Dzen
• It’s okay for young guys to act silly, but even grown men do so... I was 46 years old, and a man invited me on a date to a shopping mall. We went to a café, and I asked for some water because it was hot. They brought me a small bottle. He didn’t order anything for himself.
  After the café, we decided to go to the movies. While I was looking at the schedule, he thought it over and said, “How about we just go to the store, buy something, and then head to my place!”
  There was an escalator nearby. I stepped onto the magic stairway and rode away. I’ve never had a date like that again in my life! © Taro. Love Story / Dzen

• I met a guy. We had pizza, and he invited me over to see his vacation photos. So, we went. There was dust everywhere, some suitcases, and clothes.
  When I was getting ready to leave, I noticed a mirror in the hallway, and there was scribbled on the wallpaper: “Don’t call her.” I pointed this out to the guy, and he started mumbling something about his ex.
  My taxi conveniently arrived, and he walked me to the car, suggesting he call and we meet again. Somehow, I didn’t feel like repeating this date. © inflatableu / Pikabu
• A friend met a girl on a dating website. She messages to him: “Let’s go to a café! Don’t worry, I’m not a gold digger. We’ll pay 50/50.” So, they went.
  They ordered pizza, sushi, rolls. Everything was fine until the bill came. And then the girl says, “Catch!” and casually sends him just under 10% of the total bill. He says, “Wait. We ordered everything together, and there are 2 pizzas, sets of rolls, drinks here.”
  She replies, “Well, I didn’t really drink anything. And I only ate a piece of pizza. Plus, I didn’t like the rolls.” My friend didn’t argue, said, okay, don’t worry, paid the bill.
  When he got home, he received a message from her: “Thanks for the evening. Sorry, but you’re not right for me. I don’t like stingy people.” © PetrLevin / Pikabu

• After the date, I walked the girl to her house. We’re standing there, kissing, and then I hear an old lady shouting behind me, “Ugh, disgrace!” But I felt so good that I turned around and said, “Madam, come here, I’ll kiss you too now!”
  And then the lady, seeing how confidently I strode toward her, squealed and hurried away. But since the street was icy, and she had a grocery bag in her hand, she waved her arms trying not to slip and ended up smacking me on the head with the bag.
  Oh, it was painful! I even fell. After all that, the girl invited me over to her place. By the way, we dated for several months after that. © mypocketuniverse / Pikabu
• A friend suggested we go out. It’s fall, evening, dark, streetlights. Romance.
  I walked through my yard, went to the little shop at the corner, that’s where we met, stood for a while, and strolled past the local garbage bins. And this is the city center, 30 feet to the left — and there’s a nice boulevard. But no, he was drawn to the darkness — it’s more romantic there, with streetlights and few passersby. Well, okay.
  After the garbage bins, we walked another 15 feet, and my suitor, seeing a dark alley, said there must be dogs there, they’d bite him, and I should go home. So, I did. I was home in about 5–6 minutes.
  What that was, I still don’t understand. My dad laughed for a long time about that date because I took longer to get ready than we actually spent walking. © Inna / Dzen
• A guy was trying to woo me for 5 months. He was so persistent that I finally agreed to go on a date with him at a café.
  He said, “Order whatever you want!” I ordered a shrimp salad. And yet, he devoured the salad himself, and I only got one shrimp.
  I stayed silent, and then he suddenly declared, “I’m paying, so I eat everything!” Well, right there in the café, I told him off and went home. © zarinaumarova446

• I was dating a girl a few years ago. Right from the start, talking to her was like talking to a brick wall. I’d ask a question, and she’d give one-word answers or maybe a short sentence. She never asked anything back or tried to keep the conversation going.
  At one point, she went to the bathroom, and the older woman at the table next to us leaned over and whispered, “I have to say, I really admire your patience. She is a nightmare!” That older woman now became my wife. © Realistic-Whereas865 / Reddit
• A guy I used to work with went on a “group date” with a girl once. His assumption was that he was meeting up with her and a few of other friends for a night out.
  Turns out it was her and 5 other guys, and she was doing a mini-version of The Bachelor. In her mind, it was better to meet up with 6 guys in one night and determine who she wanted to see again, as opposed to meeting with 6 different guys on 6 different nights. © slytherinprolly / Reddit

• A guy with a rose approached me on the street: “Please, take it!” I took it with joy, thanked him, and wished him all the best as well. We stood there exchanging pleasantries to the best of our ability.
  The second act sounded like this: “Can I hug you?” He looked quite respectable, stylishly dressed, handsome, with a nice smell of perfume. Yes, let’s hug. We hugged.
  The third act: “Can you give me money?” And he starts saying something about being a volunteer. And that’s when I burst into laughter, thinking naively, here I am hugging him with all my heart, and he’s doing it for money.
  I told him he’d better not spend on flowers, but on children if he’s collecting money for them. I left. Though later it occurred to me that I didn’t know where he got the flowers from. © Natalya Ivanova / Dzen
• Went on a group date when I was like 16. There were 2 established couples, and I was seeing a guy for the first time. We went to a bowling alley my date’s friend worked at.
  The entire time, this guy was trying really hard to show off and in general being a massive tool. I was sitting with my friends on the outer right seat in the row. Date’s friend was standing about 3 feet to my right.
  My date went to toss the bowling ball to his friend because he was so cool and strong. He missed so hard that the bowling ball hit my left shoulder and my friend’s right shoulder (we were sort of leaning into each other to talk), then fell on another friend’s foot. He got 3 of us in one throw.
  He awkwardly apologized and then said he needed to use the restroom. Didn’t see him again. © Puzzleheaded_Storm79 / Reddit

• It happened quite a few years ago. I met a guy online, and at first, he seemed to communicate normally, although I did notice some oddities. Well, I thought, maybe it’s just me.
  Then we had our first date — went for fast food, and there it turned out he already had a 10-year-old son, he was much older than he had initially claimed, and generally, he behaved quite insolently and arrogantly. I decided this would be our first and last meeting, but apparently, he didn’t think so.
  The next day I got a message from this gentleman who decided to get right to the point, saying something like, “Bunny, given the cold weather, I suggest we meet at my place straight away.” To which I replied that I am not “Bunny,” and my name is Rina. After this, he said it would be better if we never met again. I laughed about it for a long time after. © Rina Korneva
• I was about 16 years old. I went on a date and was pleasantly surprised; he turned out to be tall and handsome. He suggested going to a restaurant. We arrived, and it turned out that his friend worked there.
  So, he joined us, and they got into an intimate conversation about their matters. I thought it would be for 5 minutes, but he stayed for 2 hours! I tried to join in the conversation, but they were so carried away they didn’t even notice me.
  Then this fellow walked me home, we took a bus. And near my house, he said to me, “Please give me some money for a taxi since I bought you ice cream.” I gave it and walked away in shock. I am still in shock to this day.
  The next day he called, but I turned him down. If it happened now, I would have left after 15 minutes, but at 16, unfortunately, my judgment wasn’t the same. © Kris Tall / ADME

• A friend recently shared a story. It was her birthday, she was at work handling her duties. Suddenly, an unsuccessful suitor, a terrible miser, called her to offer his congratulations and invited her to lunch. The birthday girl was surprised by the generosity but agreed.
  They got into his car, and he took her to some work cafeteria with self-service. He said, “Help yourself, dear! Take whatever you want! As for me, I won’t eat, I already ate at home.” © Troubled Pastry / ADME
• This isn’t my story; it’s a friend’s. She was about 17, met a guy, went on a date, and realized she didn’t like him.
  He invited her for a second date, but instead of being straightforward, she lied, saying she was going to her grandmother’s out of town tomorrow. He asked for all the details and the next day called to say he was going to the station to see her off. He even brought a friend for some reason.
  Well, she had to buy bus tickets and depart from the station while they waved her goodbye. Somewhere out of town, she got off and spent half a day getting back home. That’s when I learned that lying can cost you. © Flying Penguin / ADME

• A neighbor set up my friend with her acquaintance. Apparently, he worked with her husband, was a positive person, and owned an apartment. You should have seen her face when a man in his fifties showed up for the meeting, carrying a tattered bag with wrenches sticking out of it.
  Luckily, my friend and I had agreed beforehand that if she didn’t like the suitor, and it would be awkward to leave, she’d call me, and I’d come by as if we had classes, and it was just on my way. So I showed up, and there they were waiting for me: my 20-year-old friend with a twisted face and the man, looking smugly victorious.
  Oh wow, what an awkward situation! And he wasn’t even doing anything wrong. But how to politely refuse someone? I said it was a pleasure to meet him, but we urgently had to go to our class — he offered to walk us.
  My friend said we’d get a taxi, and he replied, “Well, you still have time, let’s have a seat.” We went to the nearest French café, and this guy pulled out his stash from his bag. In short, 10 minutes of embarrassment, we paid and ran to catch a taxi, and he even tried to follow us.
  Later, I asked my friend why she didn’t just run away immediately, and she said she was just stunned. The neighbor later told her off for offending such a nice person. © Tatyana Lobanova / ADME

And these dates went from bad to a total catastrophe. Check out these stories.