9 Ways to Deal With Offensive Phrases Without Losing Your Temper

3 years ago

We’ve all had our fair share of backhanded compliments, envious remarks, or even overt insults in our lives. And it’s hard not to lose your temper and start arguing with the person who was trying to offend you. However, it’s really not worth your time and energy, and there are some things you can say or do instead that can spare your nerves and quickly end an unnecessary conversation.

We at Bright Side don’t think you have to let your emotions get the best of you in such situations. So here’s how you can react instead.

1. Ignore them.

Don’t let the person who wants to offend you control how you feel. In fact, you don’t have to say anything at all to that person. This way, you’ll show them that you don’t value their opinion enough to justify it with a response. You also won’t waste any time arguing with that rude person.

2. Say, “Thank you.”

Using this phrase is another way to avoid a pointless argument. It will also shut down further rude comments because it will look like you agree with what the person said. If they continue adding on more and more unsolicited advice or saying something hurtful, keep on thanking them, and they’ll stop eventually.

3. Shift attention to the positive.

Sometimes people like to sugarcoat their snide comments by saying something nice first. In this case, pretend you didn’t notice the offensive part of their comment and only acknowledge the compliment. This will show them that their passive-aggressive way of communication won’t work with you.

4. Change the subject.

By talking about something else, you won’t have to confront the person who was trying to offend you. Moreover, they might not have expected that their comment wouldn’t affect you or that you wouldn’t even notice it. This might stop them from trying to say something rude again because they’ll know you don’t pay attention to such things.

5. Make them feel uncomfortable.

Respond to their comment with: “I’m surprised you are comfortable saying that.” Say it in a calm voice and with a straight face. After saying that phrase, don’t add anything. The phrase itself, as well as your facial expression and the silence that follows, might make them feel uncomfortable. And this situation might discourage them from being rude to you in the future.

6. Call them out on their comment.

Ask them something like, “Are you having a bad day?” People often make offensive comments because they’re jealous of you and unsatisfied with themselves. By using such phrases, you’ll show them that you can see that the problem is about them and not about you. They might also feel bad about what they said and apologize.

7. Pretend you didn’t pay attention.

Tell them you weren’t listening to what they were saying and ask them to repeat what they said. Your indifference to their words might stop them from saying anything else, and they’ll just go away. Another reason asking them to repeat what they said may help is because they might’ve had a bad day or an emotional moment, and they might realize they were wrong or just feel embarrassed by their words.

8. Laugh at what they say.

Your positive reaction to a comment that was meant to insult you might catch the person who said those hurtful words off guard and even make them feel embarrassed. You’ll show them that their words and opinions don’t matter to you and that they can’t make you feel bad about yourself.

9. Address the insult.

If you want a more long-term solution to the problem, and if you value the relationship with the person who was rude to you, talk to them. Ask them why they would say something hurtful like that. They might answer that they weren’t trying to hurt you, they were just concerned about you. But what you should make clear to them is that their opinion won’t change the way you feel about yourself.

Have you ever used any of these tips? How do you react when someone tries to insult you?


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yep, I just always say "thanks" in the sweetest way and it seems to be working :D


a portion of some healthy sarcasm is always a good solution ;))


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